Saturday, May 27, 2006
It Says 'Push'
Currently listening to: Thursday - Lan Curtis
I'm finally enrolled into Med school. Hurrah! ^^ The total fee that I had to pay was Php32K. It's okei compared to how much other schools charge. I finished at school early and I sort of forgot that I had to wait for Mario, if in case he wouldn't be able to pay for his fees today. He's flying to Bora tomorrow. Ugh. I'm inggit. But my mum says it isn't super nice at Bora according to her boss and if I wanted to go to a beach, she'd rather take us to El Nido (?) as suggested by her boss. Anyway, Mario was able to pay for his fees na so no more worries.
I'm stuck doing the business deal my bro had 'contracted' with my Tita R. He says I get 30% from each DVD that gets sold. I told him that he should be the one getting the 30% because I'm the one doing the dirty work. Sha daw ang 'contractor'. Whatever. I was never good at business anyway.
I've been going to my mum's office for the past 2 days. Yesterday I saw The guy. When the door opened, I looked up and saw him. He kinda lifted his eyebrows in greeting. I thought he was looking at my mum but she wasn't looking at him so I just smiled at him and then he smiled back. He kinda looks cute. But I found it funny. Why in hell would he greet me?! LOOOL. Ughlert.
Speaking of ughlerts. My new classmates are from UST. I was like shocked to know that they're friends with my ex friend. LOOOL. And I'm glad that she couldn't wait for the results to come out so she already enrolled at another University. Nenenenene. Stay away from me. Rar.
So anyway, I kinda don't feel like going out on one-on-one's still. Plus, I feel I'm becoming too emotional with some things. Herbert Bautista was being interviewed on My Favorite Show the other day and I found myself close to tears. And then Toyz had been texting and calling and IMing me and I just freaked out on him. LOOOL. Poor guy. Blame it on the hormones.
Because of all the happenings, I sorta forgot that today's the celebration for Pandaria's birthday. I really don't wanna go. I mean, wth for? When we were seeing each other, my friends and I had planned to drop by at his place but then he didn't want to but he didn't say that directly. He ended up going to my friend's place instead. But now that we're NOT seeing each other, he wants me to go to his place. Funny. Really.
PS. Kainis ang mga TH or Tamang Hinala. Tamaan ka sana.
PPS. If you don't want it, don't ask for it.
PPPS. Ang feeling mo.
PPPPS. Bat ganun pag click ako sa previous entries nasisira yung design ng blog kooo!! RAR!!
PPPPPS. Thanks, God ^^
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Friday, May 26, 2006
Nice Guys Finish Last (At least they ARE nice)
So. I've been to school for my physical exam. I was supposed to do that yesterday but I got sick. I'm fine now. It's probably the quail eggs that my bro bought for me. That a55. But it's okei he didn't know. Let's just skip the gory details. ^^ But it was okei getting sick because I was able to watch season 1 of One Tree Hill. I'm almost done with it. I got 1 last episode to go.
So why am I blogging so late? 1 - my Internet connection is farting with me again. 2 - something is REALLY bothering me. I mean how could such a person exist?! What kind of blood or liquid or whatever that runs through that person's veins?! Is that absolutely normal?! I mean, who is s/he kidding anyway?! S/he is kidding herself/himself!! When will s/he ever stop cheating her/his way through college or INTO college?!
Fcuk.
It's like all the pain, time and effort that we spent to finish the requirements are all useless! Where is JUSTICE in this institution?! Where is JUSTICE in this country?! Where is JUSTICE in this world?! WHERE IS JUSTICE IN THIS LIFE?!
I mean, this is a BIG thing we're talking about here. THIS is MED school. They're supposed to make DOCTORS out of their students. And what if s/he doesn't pass the fcking board exams that comes after?! Will s/he cheat her/his way to get in?! And what will happen to the patients that s/he will someday take care of?! They're all as good as dead.
And if s/he doesn't stop living like this, s/he's just as good as dead as well.
Doesn't s/he care at all about her/his reputation? Or fck reputation. What about guilt? Conscience? Learning from failures? What about true success?
PS. Here's a Q for YOU: How do you define success? Please answer briefly AND LEGALLY.
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Half Angel, Half Demon
Currently listening to: Join the Club_Nobela
Haiz. My mum has been telling me to talk to my cousin. Honestly, I wouldn't know what to tell her. Or what else to tell her. I don't even think that I am credible enough for them as a source of some 'advice'. That's another reason why I can't. Talk. I'm not the angel some people think I am. I'm half demon. So if I were to apply as a guidance councilor at wherever, I don't think I'd get accepted. But hey, nobody's perfect and everyone keeps their own deepest, darkest secrets.
Hm.. best pieces of advice would be..
Count your blessings.
Cherish your loved ones before they're all gone.
Seek to understand rather than to be understood.
Don't just do it, do it right.
You have a future you ought to think about.
Be safe.
Nuff said.
Tomorrow's the physical exam thing for PLM Med school. Yikes. I remember the first time I had to undergo the same procedure. I was an incoming freshman in the PLM College of Science. When I got inside the doctor's office with like 9 other girls, the doctor said, 'Tanggalin nio ang t-shirt nio tas buksan nio zipper ng pants nio'. I got the shock of my life. LOL. So when she was checking my chest blah blah, my heart was pumping all too fast hahaha! Whaaat. I was younger then and I didn't know what she had planned to do to us or to me. So there, I had to stay in the clinic for a few more minutes to slow my heartbeat down. Hahaha!! Anyway, I hope that doesn't happen again. If any doctor tells me to strip, I'll show her my boobies. HAHAHAHA!! Wtf.
Hmm.. anu pa ba?! Ah.. Right. When school starts, I doubt if I'd still be able to play Ragnarok. So whatever goes nalang. I'll cross the bridge when I get there.
A few friends made me realize that I shouldn't allow myself to be 'verbally battered' by some people who think they own me. Or so they make me feel that they do. I mean I know I owe them quite a lot, but that doesn't mean they own me. Basta. I have my rights. So give it. :P
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Monday, May 22, 2006
Contradictions
Currently listening to: Jann Arden - Insensitive.
I'm one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give,
On how to be insensitive
I'm feeling really sad about how some things are going for me lately. I mean, yes I'm really happy about getting into med school (I think). I still have to pass the medical and physical exam before I would be allowed to enroll. Back to what I was saying. Haiz. Where to start??
Here's the scenario:
Months ago, your boyfriend promises not to hurt you and tells you that he needs you in his life and that he loves you. A few months later, he tells you that he's leaving the country for good and he had known about it years (?) ago. So as soon as you realize that you don't want any more pain to be inflicted upon you if you stay any longer, you break ties with him and run in the opposite direction. A month later, the person who had tried to win your hand before, comes back to tell you that he had waited long enough for you and he tells you that he needs you, loves you and doesn't want to lose you again.
How do you rebuild the trust that was shattered before? How soon can you do it?
**Edit ko nalang later si Merrie nagmamadali mag-Gateway. HAHAHA!!
Ai nakow. Saka na ako uli magsusulat tungkol sa mga kadramahan ko sa buhay. Mashado akong masaya para gawin yun. ^^
I went to Gateway with Merrie, right? Yun may ari ng LRT. HAHAHA!! Libre pamasahe ko grabe. Hahaha! Initially, I had wanted to see The Da Vinci Code but she wanted to see M:I-3 (?). After we had lunch, she said that we should just see whichever yun pinakamalapit na showing time. And guess kung ano pinakamalapit? Over the Hedge! So pumila kami ng pagkahabahaba tas pagdating sa ticket counter, sinabe ko sa babae na 2 tickets for Over the Hedge. Tumawa yun babae. So napatanong naman ako kung bakit sha tumatawa. Kase daw yun mga age namin, ang pinipilahan, The Da Vinci Code. Wahahaha!! Hoi, first time ko mapagtawanan ng tao sa ticket counter wahaha!! At bata pa naman kame ni Merrie noh!! LOOOL!! Pero worth it yun movie promise. It's a family movie plus, it's cute and funny. Certainly a must-see! ^^
Aun lang muna ^^
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Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Sorry, I Don't Do Dates No More
Currently listening to: Incubus - Drive
Woopz! I wasn't able to blog yesterday because I thought I still had time to after dinner. Well, I forgot yesterday was siege day on pRO so that ate a lot of my blogging time. ^^
So what's about the medical exam? There's this referral sheet they attached to my test permit. Our new friends, who are incoming second years, said that the one giving out the sheets probably had a cut from it. They offered to take us to Ospital ng Maynila for a free med exam that included CBC, urinalysis and chest X-ray. Kahiya naman din that they did so I said kain muna kame sa KFC and I was willing to pay 500 off the bill but I have nice friends so they pitched in to get us a bucket meal with lots of extras. With Carebear tumblers. LOL
I learned a lot about the course that I'm about to take. That I have to be in school from 7am to 4pm and if I'm late, I will get a mura from the doctors. That I get a half day once a week! ^^ That one day is one subject consisting of 4 hours lecture and 4 hours laboratory. That on my 4th year, I'll be an intern at Ospital ng Maynila and as I stay up for a day and a half, rotating around different departments, I should be able to choose which specialization I am most interested in.
So, that's 4 years of med proper plus (let's say) 3 years pediatrics, that's 7 years. If I'm turning 22 this year, that makes me 28 when I graduate. I plan to settle down at age 30 so that leaves me with 2 years to practice. I think I should be able to practice while I'm learning pediatrics. So I can start establishing myself financially from there. ^^ Time is on my side. LOL
A few people are still asking me out on dates. Sorry, I don't do dates no more. I'll only agree to go out if my bro is with me or if we're in a group. No more one on one's. I have a future I plan to take care of. LOL
Which reminds me, I let out a few secrets to Joven and Jaysen yesternoon. I think it's okei. They've been my friends for years now and I now that I can trust them with my life. Remember hinahatid pa nila ako before sa sakayan? ^^ They're the gents of the PUBES, but they're also the menyaks. Hahaha! Peace. Mwahx!
Ugh friends. There are some people who soil the term. I checked yesterday if my 'friend' kuno got into my school. Napoot ako when I saw her name on the list. Grr. She doesn't deserve to be in my school. I don't want her to soil my school just as she soiled our friendship. Wala shang kwentang tao. What kind of 'friend' would talk to you only when she needs something from you? The nerve! Hindi yun friend. Hmp! Pero as Will Smith sings, 'let God deal with the things they do, coz hate in your heart will consume you too'. So hayaan ko nalang sha dapat. And I shall pray na wag sha makabiktima ulit. User! LOL!
My sleeping pattern has gotten weird over time. I can't sleep if it's not 12mn. And then I wake up at 10 or 11.30. Not good. Definitely not good. I should start sleeping earlier. Or I should try. I remember Dr. Seuss once said something like 'you know you're in love when you can't sleep because reality is finally better than your dreams'. I think Merrie sent that through SMS. ^^ But I'm not in love. But I know that the reality that I'm getting into med school is keeping me up. LOL And how could it not? I mean, I'm still 'almost there' until I finally get enrolled. I hope they see nothing wrong with the med exam. Good luck to me. ^^
And thank You, God. ^^
PS. It feels like the days are dragging on. It still doesn't feel normal that we're not talking as much as we used to. It still feels different.
PPS. I really hate it when you guys tell me to 'eat breakfast', 'eat lunch', 'kung hindi kotong ka'. What's with that? Lambing ba yun? I don't like it. Stop flirting with me. Wag nio ko landiin dahil di rin gagana.
PPPS. You, on the other hand, should get over being like that. Stop being so childish. Or I'll just stop being childish with you altogether. Rar!
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Monday, May 15, 2006
I'm In
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! I'm supper happy that I am being given an opportunity to study medicine at PLM. c: But a part of me is sad because not all of my friends got in because of their parents' ITR's. They were told to give a chance to those who are financially disadvantaged. Ang sayang. Pero true to the mission naman yun rule nila na yun - to give the less priviledged but deserving youth of Manila. Parang ganun. LOL. Pero sayang pa rin.. It won't be the same without them :c
So tomorrow I'm going to school for the medical exam. I hope we finish early with that.
I'm sumkinda scared about going to med school now. LOL At first I was scared about not being able to get in and now that I'm in, I'm scared about not being able to stay in. ^^
My dad had asked me earlier this evening if this is what I really want. I said yes and it's true. I tried to apply for jobs while waiting for the results but at the back of my mind, I was hoping I wouldn't get shortlisted for anything nice. If I do, I'm sure I'd be sent there, wherever 'there' is, to start working my a55 off. My dad didn't look too happy with the result. :c Maybe he's scared too? But of what?
I hope things go well for everyone. And let God's will be done. ^^ Thank You po. ^^
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Sunday, May 14, 2006
No You Don't Deserve Me
Currently listening to: Mozart's Pachabel Cannon in D Minor
Happy Mum's Day!
We went to visit my Lola and Lolo in San Fernando, Pampanga to celebrate Mum's day with them. At first I thought that my lola had a major operation involving the insertion of a piece of metal to hold her backbone. She has scoliosis but I think it's the 'mild' type because her's is C-shaped. (You can follow the link to read more about scoliosis.) When I hugged her she had warned me to avoid her back area and then she explained that she had a small bump cut open. And that's it. LOL I dunno where I heard about the metal thing. Whatever.
We, of course, celebrated Mum's day for my mum as well but that was yesterday. My bro and I split the bill to buy her a Tiramisu Meltdown from Red Ribbon. My dad also gave his share of the bill so my bro and I only had to put out a little amount. The 'extra' shall then go to my shopping money. LOL I should splurge for myself once in a while. Yes? ^^
Okei..Allan and I slept at 3am exchanging texts. LOL But so far.. He's in the red. Hehe See if things will improve a bit? I dunno. Bahala na. ^^
15th na tomorrow. :c 17th ang enrollment for PLM College of Med. I wonder if I get in.. :c
Btw, does anyone know where I can get a laptable? It's like a flat pillow with a frame on one side so that you can put your laptop on top and then put the laptable on your lap and sit on the bed. Ya dig? If you do, please holler. ^^
Read more..
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Friday, May 12, 2006
I Don't Wanna Get Old Before I Have To
Currently listening to: Jill Sobule - Bitter
I could slip, I could fall
Down that mean and awful hall
With the other jealous bitches
And the bitter grumbling men
I could sneer, I could glare
Say that life is so unfair
And the one who made it, made it
'Cuz her breasts were really big
I could bitch, I could moan
Say I want to be left alone
But that's not really true
Because I like my time with you
Till you rant and you rave
Wishing fat folks to their grave
But I feel sorry for them
You say they get what they deserve
I don't wanna get jaded
Petrified and weighted
I don't wanna get bitter like you
Like you, with the darts in your eyes
Like you, with disdain for mankind
I was charmed, now I wonder
So I'll smile with the rest
I'll wish everyone the best
And know the one who made it
Made it 'cuz she was actually pretty good
Well I don't wanna get bitter
I don't wanna get cruel
I don't wanna get old before I have to
Waaa!! I lost everything I wrote because of the power disruption. :c Now I have to rewrite everything. T_T
Pwede bang summary nalang? LOL Kakatamad. Erm.. Game na..
I guess I was too weak when I last blogged. I forgot that I had a God whom I trust to deliver me where I should be. I'm still waiting for the results to come out, whether I'm qualified into PLM med school or not. And then I'm being pressured to find a job because of that. Plus, my dad wants to resign from his job. I tried, I did, but I never get shortlisted for anything. So all I've got left to do is sit still and wait and leave it up to God. ^^
My cousin, Ato, texted me last night to ask if I already had a boyfriend. LOL I didn't expect such a question from him. Anyway, he introduced this Chinese guy. His name's Allan, he's 27 and his works is related to hardware and sales. He started texting last night when he got my number. He's kinda mysterious because he won't say specifics. So far, he's okei but when I asked if he had a Friendster account, he said that 'baka maisahan' ko sha but he gave his e-mail add anyway. Weird? Hehe Whatever.
Yesterday, I went with Toyz to meet some of the Dragon Knights guild members. (That's my guild in pRO Urdr server.) I met Bolortz, Ujin, Raf, Balong, Ali and Lars and some other people whose names I wasn't able to get. It was fun ^^ Meeting new people is always fun. But then when I got home and Toyz was thanking me for agreeing to meet the others, it hit me that I was the only gurl in that shop. LOL It's okei. I'm safe around Toyz. I trust him. ^^
I agreed to seeing 'Poseidon' with my bro. OMG it sucked. LOL Okei, I didn't like it because it was the same as the other boat-sinking movies done before. In terms of cinematography, I think it was pretty good. They were able to remake what a capsized ship would look like inside and outside. Basta. No spoilers. ^^ It's already spoiling as we speak anyway. Hahaha joke. :p I want to see the 'Da Vinci Code' but I don't like Tom Hanks. So that's a huge problem right there.
What's with the song? I'm not sure really. But when I woke up this morning, I was singing it in my head. It's a really old song. But I really don't want to be bitter and I don't want to turn cruel. I don't want to get old before I have to. ^^
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Monday, May 08, 2006
I Need the Strength of a Coffee Bean
I found the most appropriate e-mail that should help me get through everything that is swirling in my head right now.
A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee ... You will never look at a cup of
coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how
things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make
it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It
seemed as, one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and
placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil.
In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in
the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil,
without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the
carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and
placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a
bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did
and noted that they were soft.
The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After
pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. ! The daughter
smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does
it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same
adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being
subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid
interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became
hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the
boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your
door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"
Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt
and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the
heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a
financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and
stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and
tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water,
the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it
releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things
are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you
elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you
a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The
brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go
forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
I'll tell you about it tomorrow. I'm too sad to say more.
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