*Welcome!
INSTRUCTIONS:
- Hit F11 on your keyboard.
- Navigation is to your left.
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This is the 3rd layout and URL change for this year, 2006. I don't think I'd be changing it again soon.
Design: Tiiin*
GFX Editor: Adobe Photoshop and Adobe ImageReady
Lyrics: Crossfade's "No Giving Up" and "Starless"
Special thanks to: Yahoo! Geocities, Yahoo! toolbar, people who blog, and people who write tutorials.
Site Feed: http://hopelessandgrayedout.blogspot.com/atom.xml
The Tiiin Commandments
written by Demsey Ube
- Dapat lagi alam ni Tin kung nasaan ka lalo na kung magkasama kayo kanikanina lang.
- Dapat magsasabe agad kay Tin kung magmmigrate sa ibang bansa bago maging shota.
- Dapat supportive sa studies ni Tin.
- Dapat close sa mga barkada at maging kabarkada rin.
- Pag ayaw ni Tin, huwag nang pilitin; kundi, alam mo na kung saan ka pupulutin.
- Kung game ka magpakilala sa parents ni Tin, game rin sha.
- Dapat mature mag-isip. Ayaw ni Tin magalaga ng baby damulag.
- Huwag magppropose kay Tin na itatanan at papaaralin ng Medicine dahil di yan effective. (Tried and tested)
- Hindi papatol si Tin sa mga totoys kahit pa may back-up na friend/s, mababasted lang ng kung ilang beses.
- Love tin honestly and wholly. She can compromise naman, basta wag lang maabuso at kawawain si Tin. She
will love you back. Promise. (Hindi ko to inedit. Si Dems may gawa nian :)
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
I'm Sorry I can't be Perfect
Music that fits me today: Simple Plan - Perfect
I slept at 3 this morning to wake up at 7. >_< Kabalew. LOLx! Mahal and I went strolling again from 11pm to 230am. He promised that that was the last time we're doing that. Ok lang sa akin. Pabor sa min yun pareho because we'll get to sleep earlier than usual. Wala lang. Nakwento ko lang.
I had to wake up at 7 because Mahal and I and his younger sister, Beng, had to leave at 8 for Pasay - home sweet home nila. ^-^ It wasn't traffic at all so we got there pretty fast. Honestly, I was nervous to go there..kahapon pa. >_< I couldn't even figure out what to wear!! I don't know what happened, but it seems like I've used up all my clothing resources. LOLx!
His mamu was warm naman. She was matanong, a little bit makwento, and she was forcing me to eat something.. >_< How could I eat when I couldn't?! Ngyaha! Ang gulo. Rephrase. How could I eat when I was too nervous to?! >_< Feeling ko nga sumama loob niya sa akin eh.. Because before I left, she was giving me this pack of wafers, eh I was tying my hair so I took it from her, said thanks, and then I put it down on the table and continued tying my hair. She went, "Bakit ba ayaw mo iuwi?" >_< Nasabi ko nalang, "Hindi po. Iuuwi ko po yan..salamat po." >_< So lame. LOLx! I'm so lame. >_<
My first impression of his ate Betsy was mataray or bossy. Basta someone who knows that she's in command and she knows what she's doing. When I was with Gabby, mahal's little cute nephew, she came in the room and interviewed me. LOLx! Nakakatakot. >_< It felt..weird. LOLx! Usually, when I'm being introduced to family members, the usual questions are about my education and family background and my future plans. But his ate Betsy asked me questions like, "Pano mo nakilala si Bong?", "Gaano na kayo katagal magkakilala?", "Kelan lang kayo nag-break ng ex mo na friend niya?" Kakaibuzz. >_< Basta. I find her really intimidating.
Gabby!! The cute kid I was dying to meet. ^-^ When he first saw me, he was hiding. LOLx! Nahihiya daw. Later on, he was waiting for me to come out of the bathroom and he grabs my hand and goes, "Tita Tin, tita Tin, laro po tayo!" Hahaha!! Ang cute cute nya talaga!! ^-^ Sobrang gulo niya nga lang.. Super kulit.. Super kitikiti.. Pero super adorable and malambing. ^-^ I love him na. Hahaha! Namimiss ko na nga sha eh.. Sana I can take him home. HAHAHA!!
Ano kala mo don sa bata?? Happy meal?!
There's one thing I learned today: sobra ang self-discipline ni mahal. Na-elib ako. SOBRANG ELIB. Mataas tingin ko dun sa taong yon - sobrang taas. Siguro it's one of those reasons kung bakit hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na we're together now. Basta. All I know is, I love him more than yesterday and the day before that and blah. And I love him more than I've loved anybody in my entire life. And I love him so much as to think that he'd be my last and my one and only. ^-^
Late na kami nakauwi. I told my mum na I'd be home by 7pm but I didn't make it. >_< The cabs won't give us a ride kasi so we had to take the..LRT? or MRT? Hahaha!! I have no idea. Basta. Anyway, I got home before 8pm..an hour after. >_< I knew I was screwed. My mum goes, "San ka ba galing?! Patay ka sa tatay mo!!" My bro, nung kaming dalawa lang, "Hoy..San ka ba talaga nanggaling? Lagot ka.. You're grounded.." Hindi naman ako kinakausap ni Super Kulot. Mabuti nga talaga pag we're not in speaking terms. At mas maigi pa nga na I'm not forcing him to like me at all. Tama na yon. Tapos na ko don. Ayaw ko naman masuklian ng kaplastikan.
Nasabi ko to kay mahal kanina sa jeep. Minsan lang ako nakakalabas kaya pag nasa labas na ako, parang ayaw ko nang umuwi kaya sinasagad ko na. Ilang beses na ba ko nagrounded buong buhay ko?? Hahaha! Sanay na. Ganon lang naman yun e. Hindi ka makakalabas ng bahay. As if naman araw-araw ka nakakalabas. >_< I remember the "saying" about holding on to sand. When you tighten your grip, grains of sand would slip. When you loosen it up, it'll just be resting on your palm. Joven tried to help me putting it into better terms by using the song A Letter to Elise by The Cure:
and every time I try to pick it up
like falling sand
as fast as I pick it up
it runs away through my clutching hands
Hindi totoo na malakas ako. Akala mo lang yon. May mga araw (at marami) na gusto ko lang umiyak maghapon magdamag. Gusto kong isipin kung anong nagawa kong mali nung umpisa pa lang - simula nung pinanganak ako at baka ito ang pinakamaling nangyari sa lahat. Akala mo lang na confident ako. Totoo lang, mababa ang tingin ko sa sarili ko. I am undeserving of mahal, unworthy of my parents' love and unsuitable for being given life. Kaya lagi ako nagtatanong ng "Bakit?" dahil naniniwala ako na lahat ng bagay may dahilan. Kung walang dahilan, para san pa?? This belief has kept me sane enough to have survived for 20 years here on earth, in this house and in this life.
Tiiin* was starless at
8:21 PM
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