Monday, February 28, 2005
WEEYUWEEYUWEE!!
Currently listening to: BoyzIIMen - Everything is You
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3
4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4
5Devilish Acts: 1 2
3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3
4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5O duh buzz?! LOL! Sorry for the lack of imagination. It's not the same pic..if you'd look closer.. My MF here is wearing a different headgear.. Hay.. Speaking of headgears.. I'm SUPER disappointed with myself.. Hindi na kumpleto yun "3 of 3" ko..
Anyway, mahal.. This is 1 of 3.. Palpak na yata yun isa.. Hay.. Nakakaiyak.. LOL.. Iyaken ko talaga.. Kainis.. Ang babaw.. Naiinis lang talaga ako when something goes wrong.. You planned it well..pero di nakikisama ang ibang tao.. Sana.. yun 3 of 3.. mag work.. Sana di palpak.. T_T
Oo nga pala.. supposedly, flash file yan.. eh ang sagwa.. may kissmark pa sa huli.. oh well.. bad day.. lights out..
Tiiin* was starless at
10:30 PM
0 star(s)
Friday, February 25, 2005
Trust, Love and Everything Sh*tty
Currently listening to: some old school RnB remix on RX
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4
5Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3
4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3
4 5
Mahal: 1
2 3 4 5
It's sad when you have trust issues. Especially with your folks. As if you're the "boy who cried wolf". Only, you HAVEN'T cried wolf but they think you ARE crying wolf. Hm. I got this from the www: "A liar will not be believed, even when telling the truth." I haven't really lied before. I always tried to tell them the truth. Even the fact that I HAVE a boyfriend but then they wouldn't believe me.
Sometimes when it seems like I've done everything but to others, it still isn't enough, I just want to die.
I hate it when I want somebody to be beside me when I'm feeling down and when they can't make it and try to make up for it the next day, I try to push them away.
I hate it when my mum points out all the wrong shit that I've done. Even the simplest ones. I just want to scream my lungs out sometimes just to vent out my frustrations.
I hate it when people try to complicates REALLY SIMPLE AND TINY things. Does everything have to be such a big deal? Maybe this is the reason why there is such chaos in the world. Mistakes are being deemed as shit done on purpose. It's like an accident that you helped to happen. Whatever.
Glad I'm done with chapter 2 of my thesis and analytical chemistry written report. I hope my groupmates pass their sh*t on time. I'm proud of myself for dividing the work among us. Although the division wasn't equal AT ALL..at least I won't end up finishing our entire feasibility sh*t by myself. I plan to work on my thesis this weekend. Thank God for EDSA day, it feels like I've got all the time in the world.
My parents and I were discussing about how I'm spending my summer. I REMINDED them that I'm working. Too bad they don't believe that I can get a job anywhere else..except in my high school. So much for support. Makes me want to persevere even more. Maybe that's their purpose. Whatever. But my mum was asking me if I wanted to spend my vacation in Singapore. I could work there. It would be FASTER money. Faster money = faster evacuation. But I'd be miles away from my MF.. If I'm letting my head decide, I'd go for Singapore. But if I'm letting my heart rule, I'll submit my resume to every establishment within San Juan. I'll work two jobs if I have to just so I can earn as much.
Haven't consulted MF yet. I don't know what his reaction would be. I wonder what he'd say.. He has always been influential to me. A good one, at that. He pushes me when I'm too lazy. LOL! Glad I got him.. His birthday's just around the corner.. and I haven't got him anything yet.. I don't know what to give him.. He seems to have everything already.. I mean, he doesn't need material sh*t.. His contentment is amazing. I admire him for that. Heck. I LOVE him for that. It's just that sometimes, abstract things aren't enough..well..that's just what I think.. LOL..
I like the song that goes.. "I'd be coming home back to you.. every night.."
Tiiin* was starless at
11:21 PM
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Monday, February 21, 2005
Gone
Currently listening to: Rivermaya - A Love to Share
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2
3 4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2
3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4
5Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5Missed classes. Woke up late. Moved too slow. 7:30am just almost at Mendiola. Not. So I got lazy. Went to play Ragnarok and boosted MCP to level 91! AWOOHOO! 8 levels to go.. ^-^
Beautiful surprise! ^-^ Was expecting MF to pick me up from school, but when I stepped outside the gate, there he was - holding a white rose. LOL! Guilty. :P Not for anything else but for not telling me where he was when 2 hours ago he had said that he was on his way
home. As if nobody was worried about him. >:P
I like the fact that we spent time today. We talked. As in
talk. Real thoughts..not just stories of our past and sh*t like that. We watched The Prince & Me. I've seen it before. But I really like it's theme - making
life decisions.. You may have goals and have your life planned out but you can never tell what's going to happen next, "distractions" according to Paige. I liked what Paige's mum said, "Chemistry isn't just a subject in school..it's what you have" or something like that.. LOL! Yesterday, while doing gravimetric problems, I heard on the radio that what you learned in school doesn't really measure whether you'll become succesful or not. And then they mentioned some popular figures who made it but are high school or college drop-outs..such as Bill Gates, the founder of Netscape, some models and a few other people, who I cannot recall. LOL!
Going back to the movie, I see myself in Paige's character. She wants to go to Med school and working really hard to get there (oh..this part were not THAT same. LOL!), she's a part-timer at The Rack (I'm working this summer and I'd like to try to be a working student next sem..^-^) and although she says she doesn't need "distractions", she knows she's going to take them anyway. ^-^
Hm. I'm hungry. LOL! I've been
back to "vegetarian" mode..modified. HAHA! The only stuff I can't eat are pork and beef. It's just like fasting and abstinence for the Holy Week.^-^ Actually, I've ruined my diet early on since my mum kept cooking bacon for breakfast. ~_~ Plus, chocolates..GAWD..I just cannot resist them. T_T Been thinking about bringing sandwiches to school instead of eating at 664 where the only stuff I eat there are tocino, liempo, tocino, liempo..did I mention tocino and liempo?? LOL! Thinking still.. No plan of action. LOL! ^-^
Tiiin* was starless at
6:06 PM
0 star(s)
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Change
Currently listening to: nothing
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4
5Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4
5Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4
5Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5When the music plays
Thoughts of you flow
I remember
I wonder
Why has love changed?
Like a wound
It heals slow
It scars
And remains a memory
Fresh and vivid.
Picking new flowers
Though a more beautiful rose
Still with thorns.
I molt
Yesterday, a queen
Always demanding
Today, a servant
Submissive
Patiently waiting.
I embrace
The change.
Tiiin* was starless at
11:26 PM
2 star(s)
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
You
Currently listening to: Fabolous ft Ashanti - Into You
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4
5Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3
4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3
4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5You.
You are my peace.
You are my warmth.
You are my strength.
You are my courage.
You are my spirit.
You are my pedestal.
You are my beloved.
You are my life.
Life.
Tiiin* was starless at
6:42 PM
0 star(s)
Monday, February 14, 2005
So be it.
Currently listening to: Genie singing Prince Ali from Aladdin..
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1
2 3 4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4
5Fun: 1 2 3
4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3
4 5
You can't be too happy all the time.
So when you feel happy, treasure it.
I was happy.
Everything has an end.
Is it possible to reformat the world?
Allow us to start from scratch?
Or better yet, shut it down?
When you're all too tired of life?
I hope this soon ends.
War has been waged against me.
I've got no weapons.
No armor.
Can I at least have an ally?
Besides God.
Where IS my ally?
Happy valentine's day.
Tiiin* was starless at
8:34 PM
0 star(s)
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Sorry pero Kailangan
Currently listening to: U2 - Stuck in a Moment
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3
4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2
3 4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4
5Fun: 1 2
3 4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5Sorry. Pero kailangan ko lang talagang ilabas. Tutal, ito naman talaga ang purpose ng blog na ito. Hingahan ko ng lahat ng sama ng loob.
T*#(@&#_. Pikon na pikon na ako sa mga taong tutol ng tutol sa pagbili ko ng p*#)@(&#*)(@ laptop na yan. Bakit niyo ba ako pinakikielaman?? This is a deal between me and my mom. Kung ayaw niya ako bilhan, na sa kanya na yun. Wala kayong pakielam. Wala kayong say. Kahit ako walang say dahil pera nya yon. At nag-usap na kami na ito na ang una at huling materyal na bagay na hihingin ko sa kanya na ganyan ang presyo. T()#*@)(@ mga cellphone ko puro pasa-pasa lang. Pinaglumaan ni ganito, ni ganon, p($@*#_) laptop na lang, pakikielaman niyo pa?! Bakit di pati pantie ko pinaglumaan na lang ni ganito at ni ganon para tipid??
This is for me. Ngayon lang ako hihingi ng isang bagay na mahal at p(*#)@(&*#)(* pinag-isipan ko to ng matindi. Please lang. EPAL niyo eh t_(*#(@()*& eh. Hindi ko kailangan i-explain kung bakit desidido na akong ipabili yon. Pero for the record t)(*#)*&@)* ito na.
1-Kailangan ko ng SARILI kong computer dahil yun mga p(*#(@*&#)@ files ko dito sa computer binubura ng HENYONG MAY-ARI na nagsasabing AKO daw ang nagbura. T(*#)@*&)#(@. Ganon ako kabobo eh para burahin yun sarili kong p)(#&@)(*&#_ files pang thesis at kung anu-ano pang project. Kasi ang dami kong oras para ulitin lahat lahat yun eh. Dami sobra. Wala kasi akong magawa eh. T_(*@#*@_ yan.
2-Di ko kailangan ng magandang desktop computer kapalit ng p)(*#@)*&)( laptop. Kaya nga gagawing mobile para pag kailangan ko ng computer sa school, wala akong gagambalaing ibang tao para ihatid ako o para buhatin yun mga parts ng p)#*@)&#) desktop computer na yun.
3-DO NOT F(*#@)*&_ LECTURE ME ABOUT BACKING UP MY F_*#@)(&*#@ FILES BECAUSE I F)(*#)@&_) DID. AT YUNG BACKUP PA ANG P)(*#)@&)#*&@ BINURA. NAIINTINDIHAN MO BA YUN?! PLUS, IT'S F(*#)(@&*_ TOO LATE FOR THAT!! WALA NA NGA AKONG IBABACKUP EH!! SATSAT KA PA NG SATSAT T(*#@!)*!@_ KA EH!!
4-LEAVE ME ALONE F(*#)@(*_)S.
Tiiin* was starless at
3:03 PM
2 star(s)
Friday, February 11, 2005
Singles
Currently listening to: people screaming .. at the Araneta Coliseum ..
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4
5Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3
4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2
3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3
4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5Tired.
Sleepy.
Sad.
Irritated.
Troubled.
Confused.
Full.
Lost.
Meditative.
Reflective.
Busy.
Impassioned.
Home-hater.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Sleepy.
Tiiin* was starless at
9:53 PM
0 star(s)
Thursday, February 10, 2005
The black is for me to let go
Currently listening to: noise.. a lot of noise..
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:
School Productivity: 1 2 3 4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3
4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4
5
Fun: 1 2 3 4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3
4 5
God's Boxes
I have in my hands two boxes,
Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all! your sorrows in the black box,
And all your joys in the gold."
I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
But though the gold became heavier each day,
The black was as light as before..
With curiosity, I opened the black,
I wanted to find out why,
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.
I showed the hole to God, and mused,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
He smiled a gentle smile and said,
"My child, they're all here with me."
I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go."
Tiiin* was starless at
8:39 PM
1 star(s)
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Hmm..
Currently listening to: Parokya ni Edgar - Silvertoes
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:
School Productivity: 1 2 3
4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4
5
Devilish Acts: 1 2
3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4
5
Mahal: 1 2 3
4 5
Wow. I missed.. 4 days. Quite unusual for a comp addict like me. ^-^ I've been busy with my worlds lately - school, house, mahal..trying to catch up and make time for stuff I missed..Plus, I still have a hell lot on my mind.
School sucks. Exams suck. Group projects suck. Groupmates suck. Nuff said.
I'm glad I called UP Diliman today to ask about electrogravimetry. We better not miss that chance to visit their Science institute and finish that darned Ana Chem project. Wish ko lang, may mangyari na. Wish.
Sometimes I just need somebody to stand by my side when I feel like I'm being beaten up by all the harshness in this world.
SK sucks. UK sucks. Selfishness sucks. What's wrong with this place??
Tiiin* was starless at
3:43 PM
1 star(s)
Friday, February 04, 2005
And my Hell Week Continues to Burn
Currently listening to: the voice of Julia Roberts from The Conspiracy Theory
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:
School Productivity: 1 2 3 4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4
5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4 5
Absent ako. Shempre. Wala na talaga si amah. Physically. Hindi naman ako nakatingin habang ginagalaw yun coffin nya.. Contra daw kasi ako..kasi rat.. Nakatalikod tuloy ako tuwing nimmove si amah.. Tapos kailangan ko pang kagatin yun leaf na ewan.. Ewan ko kung para saan.. Basta yun na yun.. Sinasabi ng mga tao sa akin na dapat masaya ako para kay amah..na hindi na sha nahihirapan ngayon.. na kasama na niya si God.. Kahit ilang beses ko ulit-ulitin sa sarili ko yun.. iba pa rin.. mahirap kalimutan ang isang ina..
Ano kayang nangyari sa school ngayon? Wala pa akong balita.. Itong darating na linggo, nangako ako sa sarili ko na magfofocus na ako ulit sa school.. Kailangan ko talaga.. Hating-hati na kasi yun attention ko para dun nitong hell weeks ko.. Mahirap palang ipagsabay-sabay ang pamilya, school at .. pag-ibig ..
Birthday pala ni SK ngayon.. Nung umaga nagtatampo sha.. buti pa raw ibang tao naalala sha batiin, samantalang yun mga kasama niya sa loob ng bahay, hindi man lang sha naalala.. Naalala ko naman.. nahihiya lang akong bumati.. o parang ayaw ko bumati.. Kaninang hapon sabi ko nalang magpapa-pizza ako kasi nga birthday niya.. kaso hindi na natuloy kasi may nagpa-cater pala..kaya salo-salo sa food ang mga tao sa compound.. Bukas na lang daw ako magpa-pizza.. Ok naman.. Pwede rin..
Nahihirapan ako.. Nalilito.. Hindi ko kasi makuha kung ano ba yun dapat kong gawin para mag-please.. Parang lagi nalang kulang.. Laging may kulang.. Nadidisappoint tuloy ako sa sarili ko.. Hindi ko na alam kung anong dapat kong isipin.. Ayaw ko mag-give up.. ang aga pa para mag-give up.. marami pang pwedeng mangyari.. wag lang ako bibitiw.. wag lang..
Tiiin* was starless at
10:28 PM
0 star(s)
Thursday, February 03, 2005
The End is Near
Currently listening to: the sounds of my neighbor's tv..
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:
School Productivity: 1 2 3 4
5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2
3 4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2
3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4
5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5
Nagbblog na ako ngayon kasi bukas na kami uuwi galing sa Paz..or baka galing sa libing. Nagpaexcuse ako from classes ko bukas..pero doubt ko if my teachers took note of my excuse letter. Mukhang hindi naman kasi hindi naman nagsulat ng whatever. Di bale na. Si amah na bahala sa kanila kung hindi nila ako in-excuse. Di ba, amah?
Hm..pag pumupunta ako sa Paz, hindi ako umiiyak. Wala naman kasing umiiyak dun. Lahat tawanan ng tawanan..kala mo walang nawala. Kala mo reunion. Pero bukas..habang papalapit ang bukas..parang gusto kong mapaluhod, magtanong ng "bakit?", magwala..lahat lahat na.. pero para saan pa? Anong magagawa non? W-A-L-A. Kahit maglulupasay ako habang nilalabas si amah sa Paz papuntang libing, hindi naman mababalik un DATING amah..un DATING masigla, malakas at sobrang mapagmahal na amah..
Parang masama pakiramdam ko ngayon.. pero eto ako nasa harap ng pc imbis na bumawi ng tulog para bukas may lakas ako.. at kailangan ko un lakas na un. -_- Eh.. parang ayaw ko matulog na gusto ko na ewan. HAHAH!! ANG LABO KO!! Nakakabahan kasi ako.. pupunta kasi si Spark daw sa Paz mamayang gabi. Eh si MF naman pupunta din..kasama pa nga niya si Mot.. Una, takot ako kung ano sasabihin ko sa pamilya ko pag dumating sila MF..friends ko? Ganon na lang.. Pero gusto ko sana sabihin un totoo.. pero parang tama un sabi ni MF.. Nung kahapon na pinaalam ko kung pwede pumunta si MF kay amah, sabe nya agad "Sino ba yun Bong na yan? Bong ka ng Bong! Boyfriend mo ba yan ha?? Wag kang makikipagboyfriend sa huana!!" Hay.. siguro hindi pa ito ang tamang pagkakataon para sa mga bagay na ganon.. Hihintay pa ako ng oras..ulit.. Tapos, pangalawa, pag nagpang-abot si MF at si Spark..hindi kaya magSpark ang away?? Hay.. Wag naman sana.. sana na sa tamang pag-iisip si Spark mamaya.. Basta.. wewan meh..
Tiiin* was starless at
7:09 PM
0 star(s)
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Sudden Rush of Blood
Currently listening to: my pc's processor..
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:
School Productivity: 1 2 3 4
5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2
3 4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2
3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4
5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5
Although today is a rather tiring day. I had to take 2 midterm exams that I missed. One was AWFULLY difficult and the other one was well..easy. LOLx! Glad I have friends like the PUBES. ^-^
Hm.. I'm really happy today. It's weird actually. I'm not supposed to be happy. But I am happy. I'm not happy because my amah's gone. I'm happy because I found out that there are still some things that I ought to be happy about. Will amah hate me because I'm happy?
I didn't like the fact that Ashlee slapped Poops. Well, she missed the X spot but she still hit some parts of Poops face. That gurl is just SO out of this world. Faker. Hindi na nga kagandahan sa labas, hindi pa rin kagandahan sa loob. Sus. Ano na mangyayari sa kanya niyan? Saan nalang sha pupulutin? Tsk tsk. Why am I even acting concerned for this airhead?? Problema na niya yun. But I still don't like what she did. I HATE what she did. She's lucky I'm in mourning and that I was civilized today. Or else. Ewan meh. Sumosobra na sha. Hindi ko na sha kayang pagbigyan pa. But MF says I should wait for her next move. That way, whatever I do to her will be an act of "self-defense". Hrm.. Gagalawin ba ako non? She USED to be my friend. One of my BIGGEST regrets actually. Or my ONE AND ONLY regret. I wonder.. if I would retaliate, would it be for MY defense or for ONE OF MY FRIEND'S?
Tiiin* was starless at
11:50 PM
2 star(s)
