Friday, April 29, 2005
Smile, Though Your Heart is Breaking
I woke up with heavy eyes, head and heart. It's the worst feeling in the world.. :(
When I checked my mail, a high school friend has sent a link to the article below. I wish I had read it sooner.. Should I be able to keep this relationship, I'll try to what the article suggests.. Else, maybe I'd put a temporary end to my love life.. Concentrate on schoolwork..if I can, that is.. LOL.. Oh well.. Anyway, 'cool off' means I may still have another chance.. MAY.. I hope I do.. I hope the following article helps you, too.. :)
Five Best Things to Do for Your Relationship
By Nina Burleigh
Are you ready to take your relationship to a new
level? Heed the wisdom of these five experts:
1. "Stop all shame, blame, and criticism. Instead
ask for what you want in a clear, specific, and
positive manner, and express appreciation for your
partner. To elaborate: Men need to feel
competentthat they make a contribution and that
it is noticed."
Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the
Love You Want
2. "Change from a critical habit of mind, in which
you're very involved with your partner's mistakes, to
a positive one, in which you catch him doing
something right."
John M. Gottman, PhD, author of The
Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to
Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and
Friendships
3. "When your relationship starts to break down,
you need AAA: an Apology, Affection, and a
promise of Action. You say you're sorry for what
you've said or done to hurt or disappoint your
partner. You immediately offer a hug, a kiss
some meaningful gesture of warmth. You pledge to
do something that matters to your partner."
Mira Kirshenbaum, psychotherapist and author
of The Weekend Marriage
4. "With books on the market like How to Make
Love Like a Porn Star, one of the greatest services
you can do for a guy is to reassure him that he
doesn't have to make love like a porn star.You can
show him how to have sex like a woman: creative,
sensual, non-genital-based, and more pleasure-
than orgasm-focused."
Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First
5. "All relationships grow a bit stale as time goes
by, and the longer-lasting they are, the staler they
can get. The best thing you can do is pump in
some fresh air. Along weekend in a romantic
hideaway would be ideal, but even a few hours in a
motel helps. Don't tell anyone where you are, turn
off your cell phones, and unplug the TV. When you
get home, you'll find your relationship has acquired
ruddy cheeks."
Dr. Ruth Westheimer, psychosexual therapist
and author of 52 Lessons on Communicating Love
From the May 2005 issue of O, The Oprah
Magazine.
Tiiin* was starless at
10:37 AM
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Thursday, April 28, 2005
Sticks and Stones
I can't work.
I wish I hadn't gone online yesterday. I wish I had never said a thing about anything knowing that whatever comes out of my mouth will surely hurt. I wish I had died yesterday so then maybe I could have died happy knowing I still had somebody. I wish I hadn't had this brain.
I can't cry. Not here.
I wish he'd take me back...
Tiiin* was starless at
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Wednesday, April 27, 2005
I'm away from home. Away from my mum. Away from people I'm used to. All I can do here is work on weekdays. Maybe I can slack on weekends.
What do I need? Who can ever understand what I need? Is it just me or are all other females just as complicated?
I feel alone.
Is it him? Does he see beneath my facade? Does he understand how I am built?
Has anybody understood me before? What I need? Even just a bit?
Someone does. Someone did. A bit. Before.
Tiiin* was starless at
3:56 PM
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F*ck
Currently listening to: The Little Voices - In My Head
F*ck. I feel so b*tchy today. I don't even feel like talking to MF or ANYONE for that matter. Sh*t. These damn hormones better fix themselves up before I flush them down the toilet. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I'm at work and it seems like I've done MORE booboo's than right actions. F*CK!!! Anu ba yan?! WTF is wrong with me?! Lack of sleep?? I've had at least 7 hours! I ate breakfast and physically, I'm ALL well. But WTF is this?! CAN SOMEBODY JUST SACK ME?! PLEASE?!
This damn lab rat inside my head keeps running and it just won't stop!! F*cking rat.
I don't even feel like I would give a sh*t if anybody gets offended by all these F*CK words I'm typing. Sh*t. Sh*t. SH*T!
I hate the darned stupid Accounting Professional program because it's so DAMN complicated! Accounting is NOT that easy and here comes this program who won't help 'amateur accountants'! F*ck that program! F*ck accounting!! F*ck the corporate world!!
And I can't connect to other f*cking computers in this network!!! &(#&%^*#^#(*!()*!!!
F*ck.
Tiiin* was starless at
10:26 AM
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Monday, April 25, 2005
Sh*tty Sh*tty Bang Bang
Currently listening to: these guys behind me..talking in Singlish..
I feel so sh*tty. :(
At least, today, my mum was able to pre-enrol me. ^_^
My sched's ok.. Except on some days, I have classes until 7pm..
I still haven't decided on what to write for my thesis.. I hope that comes around soon..
I'm not clingy. I doubt if I ever will be. Is that bad?
Er..Am I clingy?
The other day, Ahiya was asking me about the importance of looking good. It's for his essay. I had told him that, in part, looking good helps boost one's confidence. IN PART. So what about the rest of the whole?
Tiiin* was starless at
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Huff Huff
Currently listening to: Natalie - Goin' Crazy
Gawd. It's so difficult to work/stay in this place. You can barely understand what the people are saying. I mean, I know English. I may not be THAT fluent but.. I dunno.. It's the accent.. The way they speak the language that makes it hard. I'm not used to it and it's making me look so dumb. T_T Back in the Phils., some people speak Taglish, some even speak barok english. LOL! And some, still, just f*ck around with the language. Dyas layk dis. LOL! I better get used to the Singaporeans' english..else..I might go crazy.
My Ai was crying today.. :( Usually, when my mum cries, I cry with her. Hahaha! Silly me. What can I do?! That's me.. But I've never encountered something like this. I felt helpless seeing her cry. I didn't know what to say to comfort her because I dunno why she's crying in the first place. While with my mum, I would make it a point to make her feel strong, turning that self-pity into uh..something positive. LOL! I hope my Ai feels a lot better really soon..
I've been thinking about school that I couldn't concentrate well enough on work. T_T First, since I'm under probation last sem, I have to make my parents write this reconsideration letter to the president. Darn it. Why the hell did that new policy come out just now?! Or maybe, it should have come later, after a year so it wouldn't affect the present students at PLM. That sh*tface of a president sucks big time! Plus, I think I have to submit my thesis topic by tomorrow. Double sh*t. I've been trying to come up with a good topic. I'm ditching the one I did for Bioresearch, the one about Carica papaya seed extracts as insect repellant. I love the methodology for that study. I find it cute! But then, let's face it, does anybody use insect repellants nowadays?? I doubt it.
For the first time, my boss-boss is asking me to write emails for him. LOL! Speaking of which, I have to WORK!!
Tiiin* was starless at
5:00 PM
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Thursday, April 21, 2005
1, 2 Step
Currently listening to: Ciara - 1,2 Step
Today's my first time to do some REAL office work. I was taught how to type in vouchers, checks and invoices. Dude. It's weird. Wahaha! For the last few days, I've been trying to resolve computer network problems and all of a sudden, I'm supposed to just sit down, type, print, have this signed and stuff. Well, for one, it is a HELL lot easier than being a 'computer technician wannabe' LOL! Although, wala sa bundok kasi nung electric typewriter kaya I ruined 2 checks LOL! Whattadumbdumb.
Hay.. I saw this really awesome pic of MF and his friends.. GAWD! He looks SOOOOOOO good. I felt like I want to fly back home and whatever or basta!! I just felt like I wanted to see him so BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! T_T But too bad.. I can't.. T_T Konting tiis nalang.. MF! Here I come!! LOL! ^-^ Alabshu MF ko! :*
My skin is becoming so dry since I got here. Lagi kasi naka-aircon. Naaarawan lang ako pag lumalabas for lunch. LOL! At wag ka!! ANG INIT!! AS IN!!
Anyway, I'm at the office and I'm so bored. LOL! I've got nothing to do anymore. T_T Ang weird nga eh. Bakit pag sa Phils., buong day ako nakaOL and I don't seem to get as BORED as this?? If this computer had Adobe Photoshop and Macromedia Flash 5 installed, siguro ma-eentertain pa ako. LOL! Ehhh! Puro virus nga 'tong comp eh!! And I can't reformat because there are programs here, which my Ai do not have installers for. LOL! So until she gets installers, kung makakakuha sha ever, that's the only time I will get to reformat.
Honestly, since I got here, I feel like everything's becoming a mess. I mean, it's not that the computers are all good and running smoothly before I came, it's that errors keep popping out here and there and it's CRAZY!! T_T
Ho hum. 3:25pm na. An hour and a half to go. What to do, what to do??
Tiiin* was starless at
2:43 PM
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Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Mission: Accomplished
Currently listening to: Boyzone - Love Me for a Reason (let the reason be love.. /ho)
Hay. Finally! I got the wireless network working. So we got a broadband connection now and I'll be online the WHOLE day! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! ^-^
However, in a few days time, I will have to connect the wireless LAN to the wired one. LOL! Sounds SO complicated..and yes. It is TOO complicated. But for now, I'll be enjoying my 'freedom' and my broadband. ^-^
My mum's coming back home to the Phils tomorrow. T_T Pero ok lang.. I haven't tried being away from my mum for more than a week. So this could be a good experience. I'm hoping it would be. ^-^
I realized that even if my family doubts me, I still have special people who won't - MF, LeS and MeRRiE. Thanks guys! I love you! ^-^
Tiiin* was starless at
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Sunday, April 17, 2005
Buggin You
Currently listening to: the rustling of the leaves
Weeeee! For the first time, I'm bloggin away from home. LOL
Ahm..where to start?
I miss MF. LOL
Working with my Ai's ok. Although sometimes, nabububu ako because I can't seem to concentrate. LOL Alam na.
My mum talks a lot. ALOUD. LOL So it's irritating a lot of times but I know she's just overly excited about being here and shopping ang all that. Sometimes I just want to have complete silence. Enjoy whatever there is to enjoy.
I feel sad that some people can't help but speak ill of other people. It makes me even more sad that my own mum thinks low of me, that I 'can't match to [Name]'s qualities', 'can't do this and that', 'weak'. Sometimes I think this is one thing that makes me feel less confident. Maybe the reason why I can't seem to do something right on is because I'm doubting myself as well, since everyone else is doubting me.
Tiiin* was starless at
3:13 PM
2 star(s)
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Deaf as a Post
Currently listening to: the deafening silence of my room
We went out to shop again today. I got 2 jeans and 2 tops. LOL Not in mood to describe them. They're ok. The jeans are somewhat expensive though.. Pero ganon na yata ang price ngayon..
Nawala ako sa mood kasi si mama wala nang sinabe kundi panget. Wala nang napansin kundi yun panget. Hindi man lang icommend yun magagandang stuff. Oh well. Ganon na yata sha talaga. Wala akong magagawa. Tiis nalang. As usual. As always. As ever.
Tiiin* was starless at
9:16 PM
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Saturday, April 09, 2005
You Know You Are
Currently listening to: Twisted by Keith Sweat
Weeeeeeeeeeeeee! LOL. My bro went out to watch a movie with his friends at Greenbelt. So I was left with the icky couple (LOL!) and they dragged me to Cost U Less. In spite of the pain in my legs, I'm quite glad that I came along because I got 3 new tops and a skirt! ^-^ Plus, of course, grabbed a LOT of food, which I hope I get to taste before I leave. T_T
Yesterday, MF and I saw Miss Congeniality 2. It was ok..it wasn't as funny as the first one. Nonetheless, Sandra Bullock looked really fabulous in this sequel. Sayang nga eh. It's our first time to see a movie together tapos palpak yun movie. LOL. Nvm.
I got all my class cards already. My grades are sort of ok.. My GWA is only 2.5 and I'm afraid I might be under probation because of that. I'm actually thinking about quitting Ragnarok.. It was one thing that left me little time for study last sem. But my mum's blaming it on Kalbo. Hay naku. All that's coming out of her mouth is 'Kalbo this, Kalbo that'. Whatever.
Speaking of Kalbo, I have to finish my email. Later! ^-^
Tiiin* was starless at
6:53 PM
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Thursday, April 07, 2005
You'll Get By
Currently listening to: Eheads - With a Smile
Check it out!! ^-^
Ngyahaha! I'm finally beginning to accomplish important things before I leave. On my list are:
1. eat at Karate Kid with MF
2. watch a movie (or 2) with MF
3. get my license before my permit expires4. get all of my class cards
5. buy stuff that my cousins in Sg need
Yup. Still got a LOT to do. My current health condition is the only thing that's stopping me from finishing everything. :( But, at least, I'm feeling a HELL LOT better today. ^-^ And plus, I'm SUPER happy! ^-^
I don't like the way the class cards are being distributed this sem. It totally depends on the teacher when they want to release it already. Before, there's just one day dedicated to distribution of ALL class cards. Maarte ngayon. They're not being considerate of the current economic situation of the Philippines. I have classmates that are from provinces and they have to spend around Php100 for fare to and from school. Hay naku. The school should have just set a deadline for finalizing the class cards so that they will be released all at the same time. Ok lang yun before na the school's super jam-packed because everyone's getting their cards, at least it's just one day of waiting and spending for fare. Plus, si ma'am Luna, hay nako, pa-importante! She was supposed to give the class cards yesterday tapos biglang she postpones it for today! What's up with that?!
Oh well.
I'm glad my dad's in a good mood today. He suddenly told me that he's accompanying me to get my license. How cool is that?! It's like, the forgotten .. whatever! LOL! Anyway, the waiting was SUPER boring..but it all paid off anyway. I got my license, didn't I?! ^-^ Hay. Sad thing was, when I was telling my mum about it, she went "Ay nako! Wala kong pakielam sa 'yo!" Wow ah. That's what I don't like about her. You try to talk to her, tell her what's going on in your life and she shoo's you away. You stop talking to her because of the former incident, she thinks you're so evil because you don't seem to need her. Weird. Are all mom's like this?? I mean, is this normal??
I'm super glad I got Laine for a friend. ^-^ She offered to do the processing of my papers for enrollment, since I wouldn't be here and my mum's enrolling for me. I thought I'd never find really GOOD friends in college. LOL. Anyway, I hope we all get to complete our class cards by tomorrow. Else .. I don't know what I'll do. LOL. Plus, tomorrow, I'd like to have fun with MF. ^-^ Wednesday na..lapit na yun.. And soon enough, June na! ^-^
Tiiin* was starless at
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Saturday, April 02, 2005
B O R E D N E S S
Currently listening to: Big Tymers - Still Fly
Gwabeh. I'm feeling the heat of summer. AND I HATE IT!! T_T
Wala lang. Yun lang.
Bow.
Tiiin* was starless at
5:03 PM
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