Thursday, March 31, 2005
Differences
Currently listening to: Alicia Keys ft Usher - My Boo
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2
3 4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4 5
Ang daming pagkakaiba. Ngayon ko lang napapansin. Or siguro ngayon lang lumalabas.
Di naman ako dapat nagpapaapekto ng sobra. Parang tulad lang dati - dapat. Nakaka-aral ako kahit may problema tungkol dun. Di ko alam kung bakit ngayon, nabubulabog buong mundo ko. Sumobra na ata ako. Mashado na yatang lahat lahat. Hindi na tama. Siguro dapat nagpahinga nalang muna ako. Nag-enjoy muna. Nag-enjoy nang matagal.
Ang pinaka-ayoko sa lahat, nagkakaroon ng regrets. Parang napapa-isip ako na hindi ako nag-isip maigi bago ako kumilos. Ayoko nakakaramdam ng pagsisisi. Nakakairitang malaman na eengot engot ka gumawa ng mga decision. Nakakainis. Nakakafrustrate dahil alam mong wala ka nang magagawa about it. Dahil anjan na. Nasa harap mo na. Ang magagawa mo nalang, tanggapin. Ganun lang.
And as much as I want to try to welcome the change with open arms, mahirap talaga. The question is, am I still willing to get through with this?
Tiiin* was starless at
10:44 AM
4 star(s)
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Do U Even Care if I Die Bleeding
Currently listening to: Aaliyah ft Jay Z - I Miss You (pampatay na song =)))
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4 5
Wala lang. Couldn't wait until April 1. So there. It's my new layout. The text looks funny though. I had to set red to be transparent, for my scrollbars, that's why the text won't show up to be completely gray.
Hm..I wonder.. When MF sees this, I might scare him off because of the connected paper dolls below. LOL. Whatever. I AM (supposed to be) disturbed, right??
Anyhoo, I think my new layout's cool. ^-^ I drew this all by myself. And painted all of it, of course. ^-^
LOL. The longer I look at it, the more I agree that I'm becoming abnormal.
If you would notice, I lost the tagboard. LOL. Blogger's got a comments feature anyway. Might as well put it into good use. ^-^ Plus, I lost my archives, previous posts list, blog links, blog community links. LOL. No space for that. Can you believe that I actually forgot to make space for those?? LOL. I only made space for my posts. Don't worry, I won't make the same mistake in my next layout. ^-^
I haven't done anything for school today. LOL. The heat of the sun is disabling me from doing anything right. It turns me into SUPERBUM! LOL. Whatever.
Hay.
Hope the rest of the day treats us all right. ^-^
Tiiin* was starless at
7:05 PM
0 star(s)
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Ka-BLAG!
Currently listening to: my head's throbbing sounds..kung meron man sounds..
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2
3 4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4 5
Mabilis ba talaga ako sumuko? Or is it because nobody has tried to take my place and experience how it is to be a prisoner in your own "home"?
I hate it when people generalize about other people. It doesn't mean that if a person came from a broken family, he will do the same to his new family. The basis for your argument that the same person saw how it happened to his family that's why he would do the same, is weak and baseless. Ever heard of the word "learn"? Instinctively, people learn from their own mistakes or from others'. It is not impossible for a person, coming from a broken family, to not do the same thing that his parents did. History does not repeat itself BY ITSELF. It totally depends on the characters involved in the same situation. And I assure you that the person you are talking about is somebody who's really responsible and I trust him.
Hay. Tinatamad ako mag-isip.
Nakausap ko na si mama sa wakas tungkol sa Singapore. Talaga palang aalis ng April. Ihahatid daw niya ako, mauuna siyang umuwi at magtatrabaho ako dun hanggang matapos ang summer. Hm. Siguro paraan na rin nya yun para ilayo ako kay MF. Ayos lang. Babalik pa naman. ^-^ Sabi ko nga sa kanya wag muna sha bumili ng ticket kasi baka mag summer ako kung may bagsak. Unang sabe nya, "Bat ka babagsak eh magdamag ka na nag-aaral??" Tapos, "Wag mo kunin ng summer, sa susunod na sem nalang."
Kailangan ko makuha yun license ko soon or else, mapapa-apply ako uli ng student permit. Ayaw ko mangyari un. Gastos lang. Paano ko gagawin? Ewan meh. LOL.
Natutuwa ako na anjan pa din si MF. At mas natutuwa ako na nakapasa na sha sa EAC! At finally, naasikaso rin nya ang kanyang iskul! ^-^ Pagkagrad nya ng nursing, kakagrad ko palang ng med (SANA)! Tama lang. Sabay pa kami magtatrabaho! ^-^
Hay. Ang gulo ng life ko. Pero mukhang tama si MF. Ako ata ang nagpapagulo. LOL.
Sana wala akong bagsak. Wag naman poh. I KNOW I don't deserve it. Buti kung di ako nag-aaral noh. >:P
Tiiin* was starless at
10:30 PM
0 star(s)
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Certified Computer Addict (CCA)
Currently listening to: Nickelback - How You Remind Me.. and whatever is on Launchcast Radio.. LOL..
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3
4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1
2 3 4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3
4 5
I'm trying to study but this darned laptop seems to can't stop screaming my name, calling me, "Tin! USE ME!" LOL. What a psycho. I am such a disturbed child. When I'm alone, my mind thinks about everything and anything that it can get its neurons on. LOL. Here's a list:
- my next layout for next month
- my job application
- going to Singapore
- does my mum hate me?
- what do my parents know?
- my final exams
- will I fail any subject this sem?
- how will my summer go?
- can MF and I last long with all this happening?
- will MF be able to patiently wait for me?
- how's our future going to be like?
- what's really wrong with his mum?
- will I become a doctor someday?
- after 1 year and I can go free, what'll I do? where'll I go?
And the list goes on and on. Stupid crappy nerve cells just won't give up. LOL. It won't even let me drift off to sleep!
Speaking of sleep. I was dreaming this morning. My mum and aunt were trying to make me give up MF because he's Pinoy. I had told them this: "Fil-Chi ako! Fil-Chi!! Kahit sino pwede!!" WAHAHA!! Beat that! It's the first time for me to have control over my dream, to actually do what I want to do and say what I want to say. It's freaky! It gave me the feeling that it was really happening. LOL! But then my dad woke me up and he was asking me some questions. Malas niya, bangag pa ako nun!
"Ayaw mo ba talaga sumama?" "Ayaw."
"Bakit?" "Wala."
"Ano gagawin mo dito?" "Wala."
"May problema ka ba?" "Wala."
"May nililihim ka ba sa amin?" "Wala."
Ngyaha! Feeling ko, he was thinking that I'm on drugs or I'm preggy or something. Why? I don't really know.. But I guess, if you notice that your daughter has not been talking to you or to your wife for a week and has been locking herself up in her room, you'd think that she has a HUGE problem. In deed she has. LOL. She was contemplating about leaving. But, not anymore. My dad even texted me something like 'I know I haven't been a good father to you (glad it finally came from you) but I'm trying to keep this family together (to which I say, yea..right).. I hope you're not keeping anything from us (simply put, I'm not doing anything stupid?).. You just have to bare with us for one more year and you're free to do whatever you want (OH HELL YEAH! This one's the BEST part! LOL!).
Hay buhay..parang life.
Anyway, true true. I only have got one more year left with these people. I just want to be looking at the rainbow after the rain. LOL. Or perhaps the pot of gold at the end of the ..rainbow? If this is in any way a rainbow.. LOLOL. I hate sad thoughts..it makes me feel anorexic. LOL! I feel like I shed off a few pounds. I feel so light..like if the wind blew too hard, it would take me with it. LOL. But hey, at least I get to maintain my figure during a vacation. ^-^
Hm. Vacation. I don't really know what's going to happen this summer. I might be taking summer classes (which I truly dread.. T_T), working here in the Phils at any of the companies I applied to, working for my own virtual company, or working in Singapore. MF and I already talked about it..whatever happens, it's going to be the same, we won't be able to see each other much.. He doesn't want me to go.. But as much as I don't want to go either, I don't have much choice.. I just want to think that when I come back or when summer's over, school resumes and I can see him again.. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Ho hum.. Good luck to me. And MF..
Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!! I still have a lot to read for cell bio.. It sucks!! T_T I mean.. I like cell bio.. but the way the author writes is SUPER boring.. Hay.. Good luck talaga..
Miss ko na MF ko.. SYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!
Tiiin* was starless at
6:24 PM
0 star(s)
Friday, March 25, 2005
Ako Pa Ngayon?
Currently listening to: the little voices in my head..
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4 5
Words like that make me want to not think about you when I'm gone.
Now I wonder. Will there be any difference to you if I leave or not?
Pagod na ako. Tama na ito. Please lang po..
Ano nga ba talagang problema? Ako lang ba yun?
Nakakapagod na talaga.. Bahala na..
Tiiin* was starless at
1:50 PM
0 star(s)
Realizations
Currently listening to: when I see you smile..
sometimes I wonder if I could ever make it through, through this world without having you..Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3
4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5I'm tired of life. Please don't look for me.
I wish I could just say that and not give a f*ck at all.
I realized that I cannot leave home. Correction. I cannot leave this house and the people living in it. I will not ever leave home..that's where my MF is.. Sha nalang ang natitira sa akin.. Iiwan ko pa? Isang malaking t*nga nalang talaga ako nun.. Hay.. I realized that I love these people more than I love myself. True. After all that bashing..I love them..
I hate myself. T*nga t*nga ko. Ako na nga itong nagigipit, di ko pa unahin isipin yung mangyayari sa akin.
Pero honestly, I don't feel like going to Singapore anymore. Last month, I was excited about it..that I'd finally get to save up. But everytime I ask Imelda about it, she just keeps screaming at me, "Tumigil ka nga!" Tapos pabago-bago. Ang gulo kausap. Sino ba naman gaganahan pumunta na?
Ewan. Bahala na.
Effective yesterday, http://getit.at/tin will serve as my personal domain, for my blog, mainly. My portfolio should be available soon, and accessible also, through another URL. I still have to fix it..so it won't be available yet..
Tiiin* was starless at
1:28 AM
0 star(s)
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Problem Child
Currently listening to: Boyz II Men - 4 Seasons of Loneliness
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3
4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3
4 5
Fun: 1 2
3 4 5
Mahal: 1 2
3 4 5
Disclaimer: I do not wish to ruin Imelda's (not the REAL Imelda Marcos) reputation (or anyone else's, for that matter) through this blog. I don't mean to generalize. Bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan wag magalit. My posts are mere opinion, not facts.
We were having lunch. Imelda, as usual, had her evil eyes fixed at me. For what reason, I do not know, do not wish to know and do not care to know. She seems like a mad mom lately. As if her kids were as bad as hell. Whatever. She was asking whether I was playing on this laptop, while BongBong was playing on the desktop computer. I had said that I was doing my research. True enough. I was searching for gravimetric and volumetric analyses and playing RO on the side.
I don't know where she gets her ideas. All of a sudden, she blurted out, "Pag kayo nakapag-asawa ng squatter, bahala kayo sa buhay niyo!" BongBong replied, "San mo na naman nakuha yang pinagsasasabe mo?!" Me? Like always. I shut my piehole.
I know Imelda has long been a discriminator. She is a sexist. When driving, she notices all the slow drivers and says, "Kaya pala mabagal, babae kasi!" She is a racist. "Filipinos are (negative trait 1) and (negative trait 2) kaya wag kayo magaasawa ng Pinoy!" Hm. Ano ba si Perdinan?? Di ba Pinoy?? She thinks that she is the best (in everything) that there'll ever be. "Ano bang klaseng trabaho yan?? Iganito mo kasi! Tapos ganito! Yan!"
Above all these, there is one thing that I always thought made up for all her flaws - her being generous and helpful to those who are in need. BEFORE. Where the f*ck did she get that notion about squatters?? What I hate about her is the fact that she generalizes about people. Like she thinks she's some GOD that cannot be overthrown from power. Sure you don't need anybody's help to get what you want and you certainly did not need anybody to get where you are. Please don't tell me that all Chengs have the same f*cking trait. Sinusuka ko na nga pagka-Pineda ko, pati pagka-Cheng ba isusuka ko??
And then you go around telling your sisters that one of your brothers is going around destroying his siblings' reputations. Huh. Parepareho lang kayo! Walang pagkakaiba! Susumbong ka pa! You ruin even your kids' reputations to other people! Haven't you heard of the saying that if you haven't got anything nice to say, might as well SHUT YOUR MOUTH?! People like you ruin the name that Amah built! To help those who need help, and to forgive, forgive and forgive. F*ck. Whatever happened to that trait?? Nilamon na ng kamunduhan ninyo! Tapos papaawa effect ka! Na si God na ang bahala sa kanila! Si God na rin ang bahala sa iyo! At sa akin! At si God talaga ang bahala sa lahat!!
I can accept all flaws wag lang yun fact na MATAPOBRE ka na! Kailan ka pa naging ganyan?? San ka nahawa?? Kay Perdinan noh?? Kay Perdinan na nagdodonate just because he wants to be known for donating sh*t. He wants to SHOW the WHOLE WORLD what a good Samaritan he is. F*ck. You can fool other people, but not me, a55h0le. I wonder what you do so that you won't burn when you enter churches. Isa ka rin sa mga kinabbwisitan ko. Mga simbang japorms. Simbang papogi points. F*ck. Lahat din tayo mamamatay! Walang magagawa yang pakitang-tao mo!
I don't need a FILTHY RICH CHINESE for a husband! In fact, f*ck the filthy rich! It's not the money that matters. It's the HEART and the HEAD! Eh ano kung mayaman nga yan, bobo naman?! Walang common sense, walang kusa, sinyorito, walang alam gawin kundi magtututuro! Di ko kailangan ng ganon! Gagawin lang akong katulong non! T*)(&#)@&)( yan! Dun nalang ako sa hindi mayaman, pero marunong magtrabaho, marunong sa buhay, marunong magisip!
Who the hell implanted the notion into humans that RICH people give you the BEST OF LIFE?! Sure some wives of some rich men just go shopping all day. Natanong niyo na ba kung masaya sha kakashopping?? It's not material things that can give TRUE HAPPINESS. Ang dami mo ngang pera at kung anu-ano pang gamit, pag namatay ka, madadala mo ba lahat yan sa heaven?? Sa Chinese, sinusunog nga lang lahat ng gamit ng namatay para daw may magamit sa langit. Then again, kailangan ba natin ng pera o gamit pag nasa langit na??
F*ck talaga. Pag ako napikon, tatakas ako dito bago dumating ang April 7! Di ako pupunta sa Singapore. T&#(@*&). Walang sabe sabe. Sa pinsan ko pa ko maririnig na pupunta akong Singapore! Ang gulo gulo mo kausap! Biglang pupunta, biglang hindi tapos ngayon, pupunta na naman?? IKAW NALANG tutal, ikaw naman ang nagpaplano niyan at di ko naman alam kung ano eksakto gagawin ko dun! Dito nalang ako, aasikasuhin negosyo ko, magtratrabaho! F*ck. Badtrip. Hirap kasi sa iyo/inyo ginagawa niyo akong batang maliit. Oh di eto nah. Mag-aasal batang maliit nalang ako. #)@&#)@(*!!!
If there's one nightmare I'll be SO DAMN afraid of, it's the one where I will realize that I have acquired both Cheng and Pineda traits. F*ck.
I wonder, when can I say, "I make Cheng look good."?
Tiiin* was starless at
1:59 PM
0 star(s)
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Like a River Devoid of Current
Currently listening to: Michael Buble's self-titled album..
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3
4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4
5Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2
3 4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3
4 5
I'd like to do something important. But I don't have the inspiration to do so. I'd like to fix my portfolio. I'd like to finish the site that I owe Siops. But I'm like a river devoid of current. I have water but it's not flowing. No gushing sounds. Nothing. It's as worse as experiencing a drought.
I tried to study for Analytical Chemistry. Unfortunately, my blockmates have not sent all the reports. I tried to search the Internet for those analytical instruments but some sites seemed like they were bullsh*ting me. LOL. I hate chemistry. I know I should start studying. I have no motivation. Hell. Isn't the thought of failing enough?!
Today is prolly the best unproductive day of my entire life. LOL. Actually, at least I accomplished something.. I made an Oreo fridge cake. I ate some of it already. LOL. SArAP! I'm imagining that if one day, I have my own kitchen, it would be full of baking stuff and my kids and hubby would love everything I bake. ^-^
I want to stop entertaining sad thoughts. I just want to be happy. Why can't people let me be happy? I have a right to some happiness, don't I?? Pag ako sumaya, isasampal ko sa inyo kasiyahan ko. Pakshet.
Tiiin* was starless at
10:49 PM
0 star(s)
Monday, March 21, 2005
Forget the Loneliness and the Sorrow
Currently listening to: MYMP - Especially for you..
No more dreaming about tomorrow .. forget the loneliness and the sorrow .. I've got to say it's all because of you ..Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3
4 5
Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1
2 3 4 5
Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5Hay.. Wala akong gana..
Ilang araw na ba ako grounded? Bakit nga ba ako grounded? Bakit bawal mag phone? Bakit bawal lumabas? Bakit para akong kriminal dito? Kulungan ba ito? Ano ba ang kaso ko? Arson, assault, battery, blackmail, breaking and entering, burglary, cannibalism, "carjacking", child sexual abuse, counterfeiting, conspiracy, criminal threatening, domestic violence, drug possession, embezzlement, espionage, extortion,
forgery, fraud, genocide, grave robbing, homicide, home invasion, identity theft,
illegal gambling, kidnapping, larceny, libel, looting, manslaughter, murder, perjury, postal fraud, prostitution, racketeering, rape, robbery, slander, smuggling, stalking, tax evasion, theft, treason, trespass, usury, vandalism, weapon possession? Yan. Kumpletong listahan yan. Encircle all that applies nalang. F*ck the corporate world. Bi*tch.
LOL! San ko ba narinig yun??Buti nalang nagkaroon ako ng raket. Magdedebut daw kasi yun kapatid ni Xy. Nagpaburn sha ng 50 cds. Since sa kanya yun material, 30 per cd lang singil ko. Lugi na nga ata yun.
What do I know about business, anyway?? Ang tagal kasi gawin.. 5 minutes isang cd. Kakabore. Pero pera din yun. Sayang. Buti nalang may HBO. Napanood ako nung Life as a House. Maganda yun story kaso lang ang panget ni Hayden Christensen dun. Achaka napakaweird nung babaeng kapartner nya..mashadong halande. Parang bi*tch. Yak.
Miss ko na Emep ko. Gwabeh. Last nakita ko sha Saturday pa. Eh mukang di ko sha makikita this week. Hay. Anu ba to?? Dapat may sacrifice si Tin for Holy Week? Kung ito nga yun.. ok lang.. Pero pwede ba mag wish? Sana bumuti na si Mamu ni Emep. Papayag ako na di makita si Emep for 1 FULL week basta lang mapapagaling si Mamu. Deal po ba, God? Deal na huh? Please po please?
May Internet na laptop ko! ^-^ Hay. Pero di ko naman mashado ginagamit. Ewan ko ba. Parang di rin ako excited. Nasumbatan pa ako dahil dun. "Alam mo bang mahal yan ha??" Uu naman. May golay. Laptop yun eh. Para naman akong batang maliit na walang utak at walang alam sa mundo. Siguro ganon ang tingin nila talaga sa akin kaya nibbox-out nila ako. Huh. Shooter yata toh. Wahaha. Whatever. Talk sh*t na naman ako. Hay. Bored na bored na ako.
Kailangan ko talaga magkaroon ng trabaho. Aayusin ko na nga yun portfolio ko. Ilan beses ko na ba sinabe na seseryosohin ko na yun pag gawa ng mga website na yan?? Ilang libo na ba?? LOL. Pano ba naman. Pag kaibigan ang nagpatulong, parang di ako makahinde. Hay. Wala. Di yata talaga ako pwedeng merchant. Hanggang acolyte lang. Wahaha! Ragna naman. Golay. Pero basta. Aayusin ko na talaga. Last na libre nalang yun gagawin ko para kela Siops. As in last na. Pag kaibigan or relative, discount nalang. Hump. Kelangan ko ng money noh. Yung lahat na inipit ko, lumipad na. Hay. Dapat nga yata talaga nanghihingi ako ng mga pambayad-bayad sa school na yan. Leche naman. Bat ba kasi ako ganto?? Achaka bat ganon ang life?? Ewan. Go figure.
Balang araw. Huh. Magiging masaya rin ako. Kami pala. Ni Emep ko. ^-^
Tiiin* was starless at
6:42 PM
0 star(s)
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Ho hum.
Currently listening to: MYMP - Waiting in Vain..
i don't wanna wait in vain for your love..Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3
4 5
Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4
5Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3
4 5
Mahal: 1 2
3 4 5
I got my laptop.. last Monday pa ata.. I can't remember.. LOL..
These days quite suck.. Or maybe it's just me.. and my period..
I should be doing this on my laptop.. but the cable wire Mike gave me isn't working.. Ewan ko ba.. Di niya madetect yung connection niya to the router.. Buy na lang ako some time..later.. Bahala na..
Ang moody ko na naman.. I hate it when I have my period.. Hay.. Ang babaw pa.. Haaaaaaaaay.. So what kung di kami sabay namasyal sa Amatsu na yan? It's just a f*cking virtual world.. a f*cking escape from reality.. it's f*cking surreal.. who the f*ck cares??
I still have lots to do.. Sh*t.. I have to finish my thesis.. Tomorrow's my feasibility defense.. I have a microbiology exam plus I have to accomplish the entire manual.. F*ck talaga.. Ayoko na yata mag-aral.. At this rate, makapagdoctor pa kaya ako?? Good luck. Feeling ko nga may ibabagsak ako ngayong sem.. pero lagi ko naman iniisip yun everytime a semester is about to end.. It always turns out wrong.. I haven't failed any subject YET.. Wag naman sana.. Although I think I deserve a failing mark.. LOL.. Whatever.. Bahala na si batman.
Sa Friday, 49th day ni amah.. Ang gulo ni mama kausap eh. At first, she said I should not attend my classes so I can go with them to the cemetery.. And then when I ask her kung what time matatapos dun she says I don't have to go. WTF?! HAAAAAAAAY!! Ano ba yan. Lahat ba may topak? Yun cable wire may topak, si mama may topak, yun prof ko na nagpapadefense na di naman kelangan magdefense may topak, ako din may topak. SH*tness. Ano yan. Wat happen.
Kakainis. Sensitive ba ako mashado o yun mga tao sa paligid ko sadyang insensitive? O baliktad?
Bakit yun ibang tao pag may problema, ang tinitignan yung root, yung cause ng problema? Bakit hindi nalang isipan ng solution? Aren't we supposed to be moving forward instead of backward? Pa-forward ba ako or pa-backward?
Bakit yun utak ko, anu-anong naiisip..? Bakit ang daming pumapasok na ewan? Ang daming naaalala? Ang daming kinukumpara? Ang daming naprepredict? Ang daming 'what if'? Bakit ba kelangan mag-isip ng mga walang kakwenta-kwentang bagay? Bakit kailangan takutin ko ang sarili ko sa mga pwedeng mangyari? Bakit hindi ko nalang isipin yun mga magagandang bagay na PWEDE rin naman mangyari?
Ngayon ko lang nalaman.. hindi pala lahat ng tao.. kaya tiisin yun pagkabitch ko.. lalo ng pag meron ako.. May mga kilala ako na natatagalan ako pag ganun ako kahirap pakisamahan.. Bakit kaya sila nagawa nila yun? Bakit yun iba hindi kaya? Siguro.. hindi talaga ako katiis-tiis.. Wala naman yata talaga akong kwenta? Ay.. teka.. Matagal na pala.
Bitch. Bitch. Bitch, bitch, bitch. LOL.
Tiiin* was starless at
6:10 PM
0 star(s)
Friday, March 11, 2005
Scared Sh*tless
Currently listening to: MYMP - Waiting in Vain ("In life I know there is lots of grief but your love is my relief..")
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4
5Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4
5Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4
5Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5It's exactly one week since I last blogged. I'm super busy with school lately that I haven't got time to write. When I get home, I just want to sleep if I have nothing to study for. ~_~
A LOT has happened. As in.
Writing our feasibility study was like hell. MORE than hell, actually. I even used up a huge amount of my load texting my groupmates to do this, pass this, blah this and that. Unfortunately, I'm not an effective leader. One submitted a 2-sentence document for the implementation part of our study. Another submitted links to his research work, I complained, he sent me something about gum tape, I complained again and he sent me something..ok, quite useful..or something that I forced to have some use. The other guy need not submit to me anything. I just needed him to make the sample product. I haven't seen it so I'm really scared about how our feasibility report would go. Last Wednesday was the supposed deadline of the study, sent by e-mail before 10am. I hope I made it to the deadline. ~_~ Nobody even cared to ask if I DID make it or not. LOL! Tomorrow,
we I will go to school to submit a hardcopy of our project..on short notice. Hay. Am I complaining too much?
Plus, our electrogravimetry report still isn't over. Sh*tness. And here I am, blogging..thinking about Ragnarok..waiting for my MF.. LOL! Hay hay. What would I do without me? Hwaha! I better fix that.. I think we're going to fail that report.. swear.. Honestly, when most of your groupmates suck, you'll just begin to not care.. but somehow, you get the feeling that you HAVE to do something nonetheless. Ano nga ba tawag sa ganon?? Hay ewan. Basta tomorrow. I'm sure I'll be home early to fix every loophole in all these reportings and I'll study. Gawd.
Tin?? This is your evil twin speaking. Where the f*ck are you?? I need you here, dude!!Another depressing thing.. I lost Hammie. Sh*t. I killed my beloved pet. What's wrong with me?? I killed him.. T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T I'm evil. How could have I forgotten to give him water?! How?? How?? HOW?! Hay.. I'll give him proper burial rights nalang.. At least, .. may at least ba dun?? When something's gone, that's when we remember how important it was.
Hay hay hay. All these depressing sh*t are making me nuts. Di pa ba halata? Ok pa ba beauty ko?? T_T
Tiiin* was starless at
10:28 PM
2 star(s)
Friday, March 04, 2005
Currently listening to: watching: Stairway to Heaven.. with Chinese subtitle.. LOL!
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4
5Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4
5Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4
5Fun: 1 2 3 4
5Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5Hyper! LOL! That's the best way I can describe my mood these days.. Sure I get my share of "down's" but things get better later on.. I'm just glad I got mahal by my side.. ^-^ Even if he's the same person causing some of my "down's". LOL!
I got this from my cousin.. It's really inspirational.. ^-^
THE SCULPTOR'S ATTITUDE
I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.
Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.
Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.
Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.
Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.
Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.
Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.
Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.
Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.
Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can feel honored because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.
Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.
What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!
What will you choose to do with Today?
Have a Great Day...unless you have other plans.
-- Author Unknown
I'll blog again some other time.. I'm busy..slacking. LOL! ^-^
Tiiin* was starless at
10:29 PM
0 star(s)
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Pahabol..
Oooh! I just remembered. MF blogged yesterday. He made me read it at Bulats. Sabi na nga ba mag-iiyaken ako dun eh. T_T MF doesn't talk much..but when he does, whether it's good or bad, matindi ang dating.
Sometimes, the same person who can make you laugh your heart out is the same person who can make you cry so hard. That's the person you love.
Mahal, mula sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, nagpapasalamat ako sayo..
sa oras mo,
sa pag-unawa mo,
sa paghihintay mo,
sa hindi mo pag-alis sa tabi ko,
sa pagdamay mo,
sa inspirasyon, lakas ng loob, at siglang binibigay mo,
sa tuwa't sayang hatid mo,
sa mga pagbabago sa sarili ko na dulot mo,
sa ngiting nakakapagtanggal pagod,
sa pagpaparamdam mong mahalaga ako,
sa pagiging buhay ko,
sa pagkain na dinadala mo,
sa pamasaheng in-abono mo,
sa mga asar mo sakin,
sa alam na yun,
sa mga sweet text messages mo,
sa blog na 'to,
sa MF mug,
sa lahat-lahat.
I love you.
Tiiin* was starless at
9:00 AM
0 star(s)
3 of 3.. PERFECT!!
Currently listening to: Boyz II Men - Everything is You
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4
5Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4
5Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4
5Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5This is what's supposed to appear in my post last night. It's going to be difficult to reconstruct my paragraphs.. I was on a high last night. Today is just an ordinary day. :)
All my late nights finally paid off. ^-^ Lack of sleep makes me SUPER emotional and I don't like it. T_T
1 of 3. I. A couple of weeks ago, I created this flash movie of my poem (the one in yellow text scrolling to your right..) for mahal. At that time, I was really happy with the result of my work. But as I was looking at it, incorporated with this blog, I thought it sucked. LOL. I decided to use a scrolling marquee instead, which I believe is a hell lot clearer and more neat to the movie I made. I guess nobody else, except me and my bro, would ever see the outcome of that movie. LOL. Kakahiya ilabas eh. Panget talaga.. But maybe one of these days, I'll show MF what it looks like and let him decide if it really sucks as bad as I think it does. LOL. Anyway, I dig my scrolling marquee. ^-^ It's simple but hella efficient. ^-^ MF saw this blog last Monday and he had left a comment saying that he was surprised. ^-^
2 of 3. Love. I remember MF telling me that the Helm of Angel was his dream headgear in Ragnarok. That's what I decided to get for him. Unfortunately, players wanted 24-25M for the thing and we only had about a hundred thousand worth of zeny. LOL! It took 3 days AND nights to raise our zeny to 21M! Gawd. I was already crying Monday night because I really coudln't get one. Luckily, yesterday morning, Angelish told me to go hunt Dark Lord with them when I actually planned to make a public chat to buy the Helm of Angel. I was GLAD that I came along. Dark Lord dropped a bone helm and my share from it was worth 1.2M raising our zeny to 22M. I came home from school at around 11am to give a last shot at buying the headgear. My public chat read "b>+4 angel helm 22m NOW NAAA". LOL! Just before I was about to exit because I didn't want to be late for my 1pm class, somebody was trying to make a deal with me. TADAH!! +4 Helm of Angel. ^-^ When MF and I was at Bulats, I asked him to log on to his RO account. When he saw his headgear he was laughing and smiling and telling me that I was "makulit". LOL! He was happy. ^-^
3 of 3. You. I asked Ku-yamot to buy a chocolate cake for MF because I won't be able to buy one and it wouldn't be a surprise anymore because MF was picking me up after school. I thought my plans were not going to work out well because 1 - I failed to remind MF that my classes end at 3pm and not 4 so he was late in picking me up; hence, we were late at Bulats. 2 - When I texted Anne (hi Anne!! thank you!! ^-^), she had said that Ku-yamot left the cake at Bulats and went home. I needed Ku-yamot to take care of the candles and make the event a happy one. Naluluha na ako nun. Akala ko talaga kasi wala na..palpak na. "I love" lang ang nabuo ko.. Pano na yun "you"? But God loves MF so (And I hope MF realizes that. God had wanted him to be happy on his special day. And He did it. ^-^), a few minutes later, Ku-yamot (Mot!! THANK YOU SOBRA!! SOBRA!! ^:)^) came and he started the "ceremony" and all the rest fell into place. ^-^
TOday has got to be the most miraculous and blessed day of my entire life. I thank God for giving me that opportunity of making MF happy. I loved the way his eyes gleamed with his happiness. I loved the fact that I had a big part in making them gleam. ^-^ I enjoy making people happy..pero pag si MF ang pinag-uusapan, iba na yun. Iba sha. I'm happy that I made him happy. ^-^
I learned a few important lessons:
1 - In times of dire need, you'll know who your true friends are.
2 - The best thing in life is making somebody special to you happy.
3 - God will always be there.
PS. HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY MAHAL!! I LOVE YOU!! MMMWAPAKKK!! ^-^
PPS. Inasar lang pala ako ni God kasi alam niyang iyaken ako. Perfect naman pala. ^-^
Tiiin* was starless at
8:42 AM
0 star(s)
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Kainis
Currently listening to: Boyz II Men - Everything is You
Today, on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest:School Productivity: 1 2 3 4
5Angelic Deeds: 1 2 3 4
5Devilish Acts: 1 2 3 4 5
Fun: 1 2 3 4
5Mahal: 1 2 3 4
5Hay.. Nabura un post ko.. Ulitin ko nalang.. T_T Pero bukas na.. Pagod na ako e.. Hay.. Kainis kasi internet ko.. Nag error bigla.. #(@_*#)@(&#@)*&... Tapos di ko pa nakausap MF ko.. Siguro sabe ni God, "Maghiwalay naman kayo paminsan-minsan" LOL. Hay.. Sabe na eh.. Di kasi sha nakakagamit ng phone pag na sa house nila sha.. Ho hum.. Sabe na nga ba eh.. Dapat di na ako nagintay.. Oh well.. Di naman pwede ibalik yun time.. Basta.. Hay hay hay.. Haba haba ng ni type ko nawala lang.. Kainis talaga.. Next time magnnotepad nalang muna ako.. tapos isSAVE ko muna. Kainis talaga.. KAINIS. Bye.
Tiiin* was starless at
11:14 PM
0 star(s)
