Monday, August 29, 2005
What's Got to Do With It?
The past week has been hell for me. Swear. School or home, it feels the same already.
I had a LOT of exams to take, homeworks to accomplish, reports to write and we still have the slides to make. Tiring as it is, the thought of graduating from this course helps me keep on going. At home, I had my family to deal with. I have not been in good speaking terms with my mom, my dad and I barely talk (which is really normal so it doesn't count much) and I had my brother who orders me around as if I'm his servant.
Honestly, I still do not know why my mom is mad at me. I haven't done anything wrong. Well, besides keeping a Pinoy boyfriend, I'm really studying hard and I go straight home after classes. I have a hypothesis though. Do you remember that my brother wanted to sell his in-game money for PhP 1,700? And then I had a hunch that something wrong might happen to him so I told my parents and my mom agreed to pay him instead? And then she backs out and my brother kept sending me messages like "SINO MAGBIBIGAY SA KIN NG PERA NGAYON??", "KALA MO BA BIBIGYAN AKO NI MAMA??" through IP messenger. It has ALWAYS been about the money for him. ALWAYS. So I talked to my Ai Z and told her about my problem. She's the best there is. I swear. She said she'll give me the money and then we can pretend that she wanted me to buy her a book. The only sablay thing is that she told my mum the exact amount my brother needs so that could have given my mom doubts as to whether the money is for a book or for my brother. So I'm thinking that she's mad at me because she thinks I asked Ai Z for money. Hai. If it's for saving my brother's ass, it's all right if she hates me forever for it. Anyway, she's gone to Cebu last Friday and I think she'll be back tonight. I texted her Friday morning, "Ma bbye, ingat and have fun..:)" She replied with "Ty,be gond". LOL. That's probably 'be good'. Although, if it's 'be gone', I would have liked it better. Hehehehe! Kidding.
Plus, last Saturday we had to work on slides again so we went to Fanny's place. I couldn't leave before 6pm because it was really raining hard. So I texted "Pa wait lang malakas kasi un ulan" And he goes, "Wala ka bang balak umuwi?!" "Bat ba hindi ka makaalis jan?? Anu bang meron??" It ticked me off so I said, "Alam mo pa, buti sana kung naglalakwacha ako sabihan mo ko ng ganyan aus lang eh. Eh gumagawa ako ng project dahil gusto ko makapagtap0s." Ayun. I started a war. He went "Un ang PANGARAP ko, na makapagtapos kayo kase hindi ko naranasan yon. Kaya ako nagtitiis mamuhay dito dahil sa inyong 2 ni aik". I dunno how to take that. But I know he doesn't like staying with us. And that's fine. Really.
And going back to my mom, she just can't help bringing up the topic on 'arranging' my marriage. She keeps on telling me that I should come to the office with her so she can introduce me to this and that. Thank God for giving me a busy schedule. LOL.
Hai. These days I've been doubting if I still want to pursue becoming a doctor. Lately I've been asking myself, 'what is my driving force?' Surely it's not my parents. It's not my brother. How can people who do not support me become my driving force? Friends? They push me towards graduating from Biology but I really have no idea who are going to med school afterwards, except Jo. But right now, I sort of feel that I want to become a doctor simply because I want to help other people. I want to reach out to communities where there is no medical help available. Remote areas where they are being snobbed by the authorities. Basta. Hai. Ewan meh.
Ahkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!! Hehe! Mwahx!
Tiiin* was starless at
8:03 AM
1 star(s)
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Apathy.
Here's some test result from Tickle. The test title's 'Where do you find love?'
Tin, you find love in a Secret Crush
You love the crush. It's that simple. Butterflies in the stomach, blushing when they walk in the room, coming up with plausible excuses to talk to them — it's the whole fantasy that appeals to you. Maybe you like having a secret and admiring someone from afar, or perhaps you're just shy when it comes to matters of the heart. But underneath all the cloak and dagger stuff, we wouldn't be surprised if there's a passion for all things mushy and gushy. Maybe that's part of your secret too.
In or out of a relationship, you like the idea of the ideal. That's what can make it so hard to take the first step to make a crush something more — you don't want to burst that bubble. But how do you know what will happen if you don't try? Maybe some secrets aren't supposed to stay that way.
Waever.
Sometimes, I just want to stop caring. LOL. But I just can't seem to. It's me. I can't change who I am. But sometimes I think that maybe when I stop caring, no one will take advantage of me anymore or whatever. Hai.
Sucky sucky.
My mum's still mad at me. LOL. I still have no idea why. Another waever. I just don't get it. If it's Ragnarok, how come she doesn't get mad at Ik for playing?? Why just me?! WHY?! LOL.
Must study now.
Life's a bitch.
Tiiin* was starless at
11:02 AM
0 star(s)
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
BOOM!
Sometimes I'm just SO close to exploding.
I have SO MUCH on my mind and people won't seem to cooperate.
Or they have MORE important things to think about.
Sometimes what's IMPORTANT to me may be NOTHING to them.
And my mum thinks I have ALL the time in the world.
I don't.
I worry. A LOT. About EVERYTHING.
It may not seem like it, but I do.
I play Ragnarok because it's the only way I know how to unwind. Relax. Forget about everything for a few minutes. And then go back battling with dear life.
Sometimes it's just so HARD to think that everything can be done RIGHT. That I can win.
Without allies?
I doubt it.
There is no such thing as a one-man team.
Tiiin* was starless at
11:49 AM
0 star(s)
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Uh Oh Uh Oh Uh Uh Uh Oh
Wala laaaaaaaang!!
Napakabusy ko lately. Pasensha na. At tinatamad na ako mag-ayos ng mga sentence at mag-isip ng tamang word para sa mga kaeklaboohan ko. Kaya eto na.
Pumunta kami sa school ngayon para gumawa ng mga slides. Grabe. Andame pala naming hindi dala. Actually, ang original plan ay buong barkada pupunta para magtrabaho. Eh anong nangyari? Wala lang. Maulan kasi hindi ko rin sila masisisi kung tinamad sila pumunta o ano. Pero sana nagpasabi naman nung umagang umaga palang na 'di na ko pupunta, nakakatamad e'. Mas tanggap ko naman yun kaysa pupunta ako tapos wala rin naman palang dadating. Mga babae lang talaga sa PUBES ang masisipag. Minus Nina. Hehehe. Salamat kay Elaine at Venise na lumuwas pa talaga para makarating sa school, ulan and all. Mwahx! Lab yu. Awa ng Diyos, may nagawa naman kami. Scales at uod. Ai, salamat pala kay Abs na dumaan pa kela Nina para kunin ang daga at palaka. Mwahx!
Hai. Berdey party ni Bobet ngayon. Ang aking babes. Hahaha! Nagpakasal kase kami sa Ragnarok kahapon. Trip trip lang kasi hindi pa sila nakakakita ng kasal. Ayun. Tuwang tuwa naman ang loko. Kada segundo siguro tinatawag ako. Hindi tuloy ako makapag-shopping ng maayos sa Prontera. Hmp. At nagpapakamatay pa kakabigay ng life niya ha. Wag ka. LOL! Abnoi talaga. Anyway, 4pm tapos na kami sa slides. Inintay pa namin si Master para sabay sabay kami pumunta kela Bobet. Hindi naman talaga ako pinayagan doon. Nagpa-BI lang ako kay Elaine. Hehe! Sabe niya wag na muna ako umuwi, pag hinanap nalang ako. Hahaha! Minsan lang naman eh. Nagenjoy ako kahit saglit lang. Nakakabitin nga lang.
Naiyak nga ako kay Master. Blame it on the hormones nalang. Haha! Kase. Naawa lang ako sa sarili ko. Ako yun pinakamatanda sa grupo pero ako pa yun mas hindi pinapayagan sa mga gimikan na ganyan. Alam ko naman na gusto lang ako protektahan ng mga magulang ko at kung anu-ano pa. Pero lam mo yun. Nung nagpapaalam kase ako, actually, nagsasabe lang ako na berdey ni Bobet. Ang sagot ba naman, kahit wala pang tanong, 'Wag ka pupunta!!'. Ayun. Tameme na me. LOL. Pagkagrad ko talaga. Siyet. Magliliwaliw ako. Nagpramis sila eh na pwede ko na gawin kahit ano gusto ko pag grad ko. Sana lang tuparin nila unlike nung grad ball ko non. At kung anu anu pang pangakong napako. LOL. Wateber.
Dapat pupunta ako sa Hong Kong this week. Sasama ako kela Les. Eh. Exams na pala. At napakadami ko pang dapat ayusin bago ako pwede magliwaliw. Pero sayang talaga. Ngayon palang kase ako makakapunta don. Lagi nalang kase Singapore. Chaka The Great Hong Kong Sale daw ngayon. Malay mo kung anong mabili ko don. Hehehe!! Eh too bad. Can't go. Sa ibang taon nalang. Basta pagkagrad, usapan namin ni Elaine, ppunta kame sa Disneyland Hong Kong. Yun ay kung hindi pa sila maghohoneymoon. Hahahaha!! Peace!! Mwahx!! At, basta. Yun na yun.
Bukas naman berdey party ni Siopay panet. Hmm. Kasha kaya pera ko pambili ng ice cream?? Panet kase kung isang tao lang makakakain. Corny. Eew. Hindi pa nga ako makakastay ng ganun katagal kase madami pa talaga akong kailangan gawin. Siguro mga isang oras lang ako dun. O hanggang sa matapos un ipapapaphotocopy ko at ipaparingbind. Hindi na nga ako sasama sa lakad nila mama. Hai. Home alone. Wawa. Pero ayus lang. Buti nalang walang training.
Speaking of training. Wala nang urungan to. Maglalaro na talaga ako for badminton and basketball. Sana lang wag ako magkalat. Hahaha!! Number 27 ako! ^-^ Kakatuwa!! ^-^ Sana din wag ako magkalat ng dugo. Hehehe!!
Hm. Ayun lang. Maguumaga na..
Asan na kaya si Aquaman?!
Tiiin* was starless at
11:55 PM
0 star(s)
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Raging Hormones
Hay. Ilang araw na ba masakit tong puson ko?! Bat kse ayaw pang lumabas.. Lalabas rin naman, pinapatagal pa.. Hmp.
Andaming nangyari ngayon. As in. Parang ang gulo ng araw ko.
Nung umaga late na ako nakapasok dahil sa puson ko. Tapos sabay activity 1,2,5,6,7 pala ang ipapasa sa ecology lab eh sa 1 lang ako may sagot. Yun lang kasi yun data na meron ako. Plus, brownout kagabe, 9pm na ko nakauwi at kandila lang ang kasama ko. LOL. Andami agad dahilan. Eh ayun. Pag balik namin sa class after nung ceremony, 10 na! Eco lec na. Amppp. Buti nalang mabait si ma'am Vitug binigyan pa niya kami hanggang 4pm para magsubmit. Whew. Sa physics lab naman pinapasubmit ni ma'am yun manual. Eh di pa ko tapos sa eco non. Ai naku talaga. Ang gulo. Eh pero natapos ko naman pareho.
Nagaway nga kami ni Master Hammie. Dahil sa hormones ko. LOL. Siguro kasi naghahanap ako ng kaaway? Hahaha!! Kabaliwan. Hindi naman. Ewan basta naasar lang ako. Ayan tuloy mag isa lang ako umuwi. Buti sila Spog, Jep and Ry pala sinabay ako at hinatid pa ako hanggang Lawton. Naks. Swerte talaga si Elaine kay Spog. Sigurado makakauwi sha ng buhay pag hinatid sha non. Ilan lang kilala kong mga ganon. Yun ubod ng gentleman. Sino ba una?! Di ko na maalala. Pero sa college, una si Bok. Tapos si Tatang. Tapos si Glenn. Mga fafi material. LOLx. Wak sana lalaki ang ulo. ^-^
Nagaway din kami ni Clark. Panu ba naman?! Baba daw ako at bantayan ko mga gamit niya. Tama ba yun?! Pero nagusap na kami at napatawad ko naman. LOL. Naisip ko kasi, hindi ko rin naman alam kung bakit niya talaga ako pinapababa. Eh marami pala siyang bitbit, kung dadalhin daw niya yun gamit niya sa akin, maiiwan yung gitara. Basta ayun. Ok na kame. Normal na text-text na ulit.
Nagawayaway din kami dito sa bahay. Eh yun kapatid ko kase. Abnoy. Sabe na nga kasing wag na lang tumuloy dun sa deal nia bukas dahil masama kutob ko nga. Minuramura niya kase yun una niyang kadeal. Parang ang hirap isiping coincidental na biglang same place magmeemeet. Basta. Eh ewan. Nagmumukhang pera na ba kapatid ko?? Anu bang nangyayare.. Ang iniisip nia lang yun pera na nagastos nia sa ragnarok, gusto niyang bawiin. To naman si mama, sabe kahapon sha nalang daw bibili. Tas biglang kanina sabe ba naman, 'may sinabe ba kong ganon?!' WAAAAAAAAAA! Ewan.
Dapat gagawa akong thesis. Wala na naman tuloy nangyare sa kin.
Bukas hindi na kami sisipot ni Jo sa pagpapasukat ng uniform para sa basketball team na yan. Ayaw ko naman talaga e. Napapasubo lang ako. Wahaha! To kase si Jo. Anu anu pumapasok sa utak. Parang yun bigla kong pagyaya sa pagsali sa badminton. Wahaha! Ewan ko buzz. Eh isip ko baka sa sobrang hiya hindi ako makapaglaro ng maayos. Lalo na hindi ko naman kilala mga kateam ko dun. Basta. Kung wala nalang talagang choice, sige lalaro kami. Wahaha! Bahala na pag nagtampo si sir Cuarto.
Kaya bukas, ang gagawin ko ay:
1 - magpaphotocopy ng physics book
2 - magbasa in advance para sa ibang subject
3 - magaral para sa mga exam
4 - magresearch pa para sa thesis
At sa ngayon, matutulog na ko. Dahil hilong-hilo na ko sa antok. LOL. Iiwan ko nalang to nakaon. Nakabot kasi kami. Hihihi!! At nagddownload pa aketch. ^-^
Tiiin* was starless at
11:21 PM
0 star(s)
