Sunday, July 30, 2006
Nobody Said It Was Easy
Yesterday was the most tiring and most dehydrating and most nerve-racking day of my life.
I was with Peter Pan in never-never land then next thing I know, I was back at this prison-of-a-home. I had dinner by myself, took a bath and got ready for bed because I was sooo tired I could barely walk well. When I got up in my room, Rio was missing, indicating that the Warden was being evil again.
So I went down and told her that I was really tired and if I could just have my laptop back because this has most of my professors' powerpoints and I need those to study for my exams. She answers "Di bale na kung bumagsak ka". I went mad. OMG pati laptop pinagdiskitahan.
I took the kitchen knife and gave it to her and ordered her to kill me. But she wouldn't. And then the Watchdog started babbling about them giving me all I ever wanted and I couldn't even text them to tell them where I am bla bla. I told them I texted my mum but it turns out that she had left her phone back in the office. I was crying the whole time and my hands and feet started to become stiff and I felt dizzy as if my body wanted to lie limp on the floor but I was fighting it because I held on to the TV stand. And then I asked them what they want to do to me and they said bahala daw ako and if I wanted to kill myself, I should go up in my room and kill myself there. I felt like there's some evil in me because I headed for the kitchen to get another knife. The Watchdog blocked my way but I fought him so he slapped me real hard but it's as if I didn't feel a thing until I fell on the floor because my legs just couldn't support me any longer. They were forcing me to drink water but I couldn't because I felt like I needed more air than I needed any water plus my hands and fingers were too stiff that I cannot hold the mug to my mouth. And then the Warden was massaging my hands and fingers and she was helping me to drink water.
It was crazy.
But at least I got Rio back. And I'm alive. And I think I still have more shit to handle in the future. So I better brace myself.
Good luck to everyone sa shifting exams! ^^
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Days Seem Longer than They Should Be
Currently listening to: Mary J Blige - Be Without You
Haiz. Kakatamaddd!! Mainly because of the weather.. Pero lam mo yun?! OMGash. Lagi nalang kaya ako puyat dahil sa kakaphone! Hahaha! Nippimple na nga ako because of that.. Pero I enjoy it naman.. Pero shempre di ba that shouldn't go on forever, especially kung may school.. We know our limits naman. Or HE does, I don't. Hahaha! Haiz. Kelangan magbawas ng eyebagsss!!
Anywayzzz, magshshifting exams na next week!! I should be studying, as in studying!! HARDDD! LOL Ang panget ng entry na to. Tinatamad kase ako. TINatamad. LOL
Ui may balak ako mag take ng belly dancing classes. Hahaha!! My gad. Anu buzz.. Una kase, balak ko talaga tennis with my mami. Eh wala kame mahanap lugar.. pero ttry ko pa rin.. Chaka un belly dancing is every sat lang naman. Haha!
Hai naku. Maliligo na nga ako para makaaral na ako KUNO. Hahahahaha!! Baliw. Sige na..
Ai ai ai!!
Happeeeeeeee!! Kahapon :D Kahit nagaaway kame and all at least nakikilala namin isa't isa and alam mo yun hai.. kaka /lv2 ahahaha baliw amp. Pero I lurve dadee. mmmwahx!!
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2:43 PM
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Friday, July 14, 2006
Unconstitutional
Currently listening to: BTNH and MC - Breakdown (Remix)
I feel that he will never understand that I worry when I don't know where he is. This is the second time he did it. Alam mo yun..sobrang kaba ka kase ganitong oras kayo naghiwalay tapos ineexpect mo na gantong oras kausap mo na sha pero wala sha tapos wala sa bahay at hindi mo alam kung papano mo hahagilapin.. Ang gusto ko lang naman sana malaman kung nasan sha di ba? Alam ko naman na kaya nia sarili nia pero iba pa rin yun alam ko at sure ako na safe sha kesa nanghuhula ako. Pwede naman magiwan ng message sa YM - pwedeng offline message o kaya pag naka mobile ako di ba? Basta lang malaman ko.. Nakakaiyak..or panu ba pag past tense? ='c
Then again..hindi ata sha talaga sanay na hinahanap sha.. Pwede naman masanay.. Kung gusto nia di ba? =c Or gusto ba nia, ako nalang yun masanay na hindi ako naghahanap? =c I'll ask nalang later.. Nagsandali kasi ako nakakaiyak e.. nagsabe lang ng 'k' tas nagdc..or nadc..or ewan..
So anyway, buti nalang may mga kaibigan ako na dumamay sa akin habang akala ko nawawala sha at pinapray ko pa sila na sana safe sha. Hai. Kung alam nia lang noh? Oh well.. Ginawan nga ako ni Dems ng constitution. Dapat constitution pero naging commandments nalang daw. Mortal sin daw kase ang hindi pagsabe kung nasaan ka. Kengkoi e. Buti nalang talaga I have friends..mababaliw ako kung wala.
Eto nga pala yung copy ng Tin Commandments na inedit ko na (sana walang Christian na maoffend because I do not mean to mock the Ten Commandments of the Holy Bible):
One. Dapat lagi alam ni Tin kung nasaan ka lalo na kung magkasama kayo kanikanina lang.
Two. Dapat magsasabe agad kay Tin kung magmmigrate sa ibang bansa bago maging shota.
Three. Dapat supportive sa studies ni Tin.
Four. Dapat close sa mga barkada at maging kabarkada rin.
Five. Pag ayaw ni Tin, huwag nang pilitin; kundi, alam mo na kung saan ka pupulutin.
Six. Kung game ka magpakilala sa parents ni Tin, game rin sha.
Seven. Dapat mature mag-isip. Ayaw ni Tin magalaga ng baby damulag.
Eight. Huwag magppropose kay Tin na itatanan at papaaralin ng Medicine dahil di yan effective. (Tried and tested)
Nine. Hindi papatol si Tin sa mga totoys kahit pa may back-up na friend/s, mababasted lang ng kung ilang beses.
Ten. Love tin honestly and wholly. She can compromise naman, basta wag lang maabuso at kawawain si Tin. She will love you back. Promise. (Hindi ko to inedit. Si Dems may gawa nian :)
Ilalagay ko to sa sidebar ko one of these days.. When I'm in the mood hehe.. I love it.. Galing ni Dems.. super kilala nia ako.. ^^
Hai..Siguro nagalit na sa akin yun noh? Baka nilayasan na ako.. Maliligo nalang muna ako.. So sad.. I'll tell you about school tomorrow nalang.. See ya.. TC everyone..and have a great weekend.. :)
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Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Power Overwhelming
Currently listening to: Rob Thomas - Ever the Same
It's just one of those days when I'm not sure about how I'm supposed to feel. I have a scheduled Biochem exam at 7am today and I couldn't leave home because it was raining so hard and our street was flooded. Nilusong ko nga sa baha Chucks ko.. =c I brought Rio (my laptop) pa with me because I have an oral report later this afternoon. I was super stuck in traffic plus the jeepney's had to take detours because of the flood nga. I was on the Quiapo jeep and I honestly had no idea where I was. I hate that feeling..when I don't know where I am and I'm alone and I feel like someone would pounce on me anytime. I was praying to God the whole time and I told Him na Sha na bahala sa akin - with my life. There were only 3 of us on that jeep and it's as if someone told me to look at one of them and read her shirt - it says 'Philippine Normal University'. When she got off, I followed her until she was about to descend sa underpass. Before I followed her down, I saw the Quiapo church right ahead and I realized that I wasn't lost. Or I don't have to be. So there, I arrived at 8am and I was thinking if I would still be given the exam. I bumped into a classmate and she told me that the exam had been postponed because Dra. Pilones isn't coming to class. She's our prof for the whole day so that means classes are cancelled as well.
I was about to enter the building when Jayson was just coming out and he told me the same news and I don't know what happened but tears just started to run down my cheeks and I didn't know if I was relieved that the exam was postponed and that I didn't miss anything or if I was relieved that I survived and I got to school and I'm not lost. LOL But now that my head's clear, I'm just really thankful. I am extremely overwhelmed that God loves me so much despite the fact that I don't get to visit him in church that much. All I've been doing is whispering a short prayer everytime I pass by a church or a chapel without even going in and praying the rosary when I'm on my way to school. Plus, I misplaced my rosary pa..this week, I've been using my fingers to count my Hail Mary's. I should find it soon.. =c If not, I'll get the longer rosary sometimes I forget which mystery na ako. =c Ulyanin.. Nahawa.. hehe..
Hai..speaking of.. Nakakasad when he does that yun parang he knows na nga na I'm tired and then inaasar pa nia sarili nia and ako rin at the same time. I hate it pag pinagdududahan ako. Super.. =c 'Aaminin ko minsan ako’y manhid' bagay ata yan.. *sigh*
Well, at least I'm home and I can work on stuff that I need to work on. I hope it won't rain tomorrow morning.. =c
I'm sorry I don't get to blog much anymore.. I've been really busy with school and when I get free time I just can't seem to write.. =c Oh well.. See ya.. TC c=
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Monday, July 03, 2006
Fall on Me Tell me Everything You Want Me to Be
Currently listening to: Rob Thomas - Ever the Same
Okei, first Lab Con sucked. LOL We missed 2 experiments, we presented them as a whole and not individually and there's this stupid format that wasn't disseminated to us before all this rar started.
Oh, congratz to the new BMS frat boiz. Finally. Pati na rin pala sa PMS soro girlz. Hehe.
Anyway, I brought Rio to school today. And damn he's heavy. LOL And then I wasn't feeling super well or I AM not feeling super well now. My head feels like it's spinning and my throat hurts like hell. I went to see the university physician and she prescribed some antibiotic so that loosened things a bit (now). Luckily, dadee picked me up from school. :D But he didn't look too well either because he had been drinking the night before. Plus I didn't know that he didn't have lunch!! ='c This illness had better be gone soon. As in. It is disabling me from functioning well. LOL O ha. Family and Community Medicine yun. Hahaha! Basta, feeling ko ang boring ko. Hahaha! Praning? :P
Oh my mami got me this stethoscope. It's PINK! I lurve it. :D And I lurve my mami!! ^^
And I lurve my dadee!! ^^
I'm bringing Rio to school again tomorrow. Haiz. Nakakatamad ang nakakapagod kaya nakakainis. LOL Hmm.. Kung umabot daw kami ng hapon like today, sabe ni dadee he'll pick me up daw ulit. Hehe Sweet :"> But then, dyahe naman ata un for him. Pero ewan ko kung what time kami matapos. A part of me is wishing na sana maaga so we can all go home, rest and study for the next subjects. But a part of me wants to stay in school longer so that dadee would pick me up and then I could see him. :D Make up your mind? Hehe. Bahala na lang please? :D
Napipikit na ako.. :( Antagal naman.. :( Anu na kaya nangyare? :-s
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Saturday, July 01, 2006
And Now I'm Back from Outer Space
Currently listening to: Usher - Simple Things (why do we make some thing so easy so complicated..)
Some main phone line was stolen in our neighborhood which killed my Internet life Saturday night. Fortunately, when I got home this afternoon, the line has finally been restored. Great. Parang sakto-sakto. First trial ba yun?
The only possible ways of communication was the mobile phone and the Yahoo! mobile. And it sucked big time.
This was one hell of a week. I had my hands full - school, my flu and him.
I had been asking myself one question: 'Could things get any worse?'
As I witnessed a robbery on the bus this morning, I realized that I am still blessed. That things could get worse than what I had been experiencing.
I had been getting really low grades. And the week started out so bad and it really sucked for me because it's all too tiring and none of it seems to be paying off. And then I come home to seek refuge and I can't seem to get it. Well, not from him. He didn't like to talk to me kasi daw sayang load. Great. Just when I needed him most. :(
Sucks to be me.
I think, if I have to get through Med School, I'll need inspiration. A good one at that. Hai..
*And then BSB's All I Have to Give suddenly plays on my mind..* LOL
There's one thing one of the doc's said that got stuck in my head.. When you're in Med School, mahirap na raw makahanap ng BF dahil naiintimidate daw sa profession.. Kung may BF ka raw, wag mo na pakawalan.. Kung wala naman, good luck nalang.. Hahaha! Waaaaaaaaa!! LOL
So panu yun? Kung may BF ka, anu man ugali nia, pagchagaan mo nalang? Tapos kung wala kang BF, kung sino man manligaw sa iyo, pagchagaan mo nalang ren? Hahaha! 'TF!! I can't live with that.
Nakakaiyak naman. Nakakahiya ba ako? Hahaha! Wala lang.. Hm..
Dati pag naaalala ko sha, I can't help but smile to myself. But after all that has happened this week, everytime I remember him, tears just fall down my cheeks and I can't seem to explain why.
I went shopping alone once this week. LOL How lonely?! I bought pink Chucks.
I've been sick. I got a med cert from the clinic yesterday allowing me to take a half day. I went to school today although I wasn't feeling totally good. LOL I can't miss school because I got quizzes and stuff.
Alam mo yun feeling na, here you are going against the norms but when the norms start to fail you, you begin to have doubts and you somewhat want to backout because you're scared of being told 'Buti nga sa iyo' or 'Tanga ka kase' or something similar? I'm the type of person who needs to be there to see it or feel it before I accept it as a truth. So sometimes when I can't see it or I can't feel it, I tend to start doubting the 'truth'.
I hope this week would be a better one. :( Good luck..
PS. God, please do not let this be another one of those..
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12:17 AM
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