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This is the 3rd layout and URL change for this year, 2006. I don't think I'd be changing it again soon.
Design: Tiiin*
GFX Editor: Adobe Photoshop and Adobe ImageReady
Lyrics: Crossfade's "No Giving Up" and "Starless"
Special thanks to: Yahoo! Geocities, Yahoo! toolbar, people who blog, and people who write tutorials.
Site Feed: http://hopelessandgrayedout.blogspot.com/atom.xml
The Tiiin Commandments
written by Demsey Ube
- Dapat lagi alam ni Tin kung nasaan ka lalo na kung magkasama kayo kanikanina lang.
- Dapat magsasabe agad kay Tin kung magmmigrate sa ibang bansa bago maging shota.
- Dapat supportive sa studies ni Tin.
- Dapat close sa mga barkada at maging kabarkada rin.
- Pag ayaw ni Tin, huwag nang pilitin; kundi, alam mo na kung saan ka pupulutin.
- Kung game ka magpakilala sa parents ni Tin, game rin sha.
- Dapat mature mag-isip. Ayaw ni Tin magalaga ng baby damulag.
- Huwag magppropose kay Tin na itatanan at papaaralin ng Medicine dahil di yan effective. (Tried and tested)
- Hindi papatol si Tin sa mga totoys kahit pa may back-up na friend/s, mababasted lang ng kung ilang beses.
- Love tin honestly and wholly. She can compromise naman, basta wag lang maabuso at kawawain si Tin. She
will love you back. Promise. (Hindi ko to inedit. Si Dems may gawa nian :)
Sunday, October 10, 2004
I
I don't know what to feel.
I don't know what to think.
I don't feel human at all.
I want to cry until there aren't any tears left.
I want to laugh and feel fine.
I want to scream my heart out.
I want to holler in anguish and pain.
I want to jump up and down and sing.
I want to succumb to this sadness.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I feel like I miss somebody.
But I don't know who.
I want somebody to hold my hand.
But I don't know who would.
I want somebody to keep me close and warm.
But I don't know who would.
If Spark were here, would things be all right?
Had he tried to contact me, would I have patched things up?
I feel like hell.
I feel like shit.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I think I'm going mad.
Do I love him still?
I'm making myself sick.
My head hurts and swirls.
Does he love me?
Maybe he's grown tired of me too.
Maybe he's sick of me as much as I'm sick of myself.
Maybe he wants to be left alone too.
How long will this last?
Why am I thinking about him?
I've given and forgiven a lot.
And what did I get?
Did I deserve that?
Was it my fault?
He wanted to make me do things I didn't want to do.
Isn't that enough reason?
Why does it all have to add up?
There were a lot of times that he was nice to me.
I can never forget that.
But he's becoming too full of his pride.
I just can't keep of thinking about his bad side.
If I can't accept him for what he is, it's not love.
What about D?
He said harsh things to me.
He even made me cry.
Do I miss him too?
I actually think I do.
These past few days were fun because of him.
Showed me what it's like to have innocent love.
No malice involved.
Just pure love.
He was full of sweetness.
I could never have imagined that such existed.
He felt love.
And I didn't even know it.
But if it were love, why did he hurt me?
His words were like daggers stabbed through my heart.
Does love always hurt?
But he's just a kid.
It's impossible for him and me.
Impossible is nothing.
Still not possible.
My head hurts and swirls.
What about K?
He's really sweet and nice.
Teaching me a lot of stuff and getting me through this.
Helping me forget and understand.
Forcing me to cheer up and smile.
Great guy.
But he hides.
No one can know.
It's taboo, he says.
Could he be as good as Spark?
Could he be worse?
Why am I even comparing?
And here I am.
Staring at a picture of me and Spark.
Our past.
My head hurts and swirls.
The letters blur.
I close my eyes.
I cannot cry.
Tiiin* was starless at
1:15 AM
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