*Welcome!
INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Hit F11 on your keyboard.
2. Navigation is to your left.
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This is the 3rd layout and URL change for this year, 2006. I don't think I'd be changing it again soon.

Design: Tiiin*
GFX Editor: Adobe Photoshop and Adobe ImageReady
Lyrics: Crossfade's "No Giving Up" and "Starless"
Special thanks to: Yahoo! Geocities, Yahoo! toolbar, people who blog, and people who write tutorials.

Site Feed: http://hopelessandgrayedout.blogspot.com/atom.xml

The Tiiin Commandments
written by Demsey Ube

1. Dapat lagi alam ni Tin kung nasaan ka lalo na kung magkasama kayo kanikanina lang.
   
2. Dapat magsasabe agad kay Tin kung magmmigrate sa ibang bansa bago maging shota.
   
3. Dapat supportive sa studies ni Tin.
   
4. Dapat close sa mga barkada at maging kabarkada rin.
   
5. Pag ayaw ni Tin, huwag nang pilitin; kundi, alam mo na kung saan ka pupulutin.
   
6. Kung game ka magpakilala sa parents ni Tin, game rin sha.
   
7. Dapat mature mag-isip. Ayaw ni Tin magalaga ng baby damulag.
   
8. Huwag magppropose kay Tin na itatanan at papaaralin ng Medicine dahil di yan effective. (Tried and tested)
   
9. Hindi papatol si Tin sa mga totoys kahit pa may back-up na friend/s, mababasted lang ng kung ilang beses.
   
10. Love tin honestly and wholly. She can compromise naman, basta wag lang maabuso at kawawain si Tin. She will love you back. Promise. (Hindi ko to inedit. Si Dems may gawa nian :)

Thursday, December 30, 2004
No Zest, No Good

Music that fits me today: Janet Jackson - Everytime (but every time your love is near..and every time I'm filled with fear.. 'cause everytime I see your face.. my heart does begin to race every time..)

Hindi ako naka-blog kahapon. Hwaha. Obvious? =P Hm. Birthday party kasi ni Ik. Madaming tao dito..kaya madami rin akong ginagawa. Ako kasi nag-aasikaso sa pagkain nila kasi wala si mami. Andito si dadi pero sa drinks sha nakatoka..pero tumutulong naman sha nang pasundot-sundot sa pagkain. Ang late na nagsimula. Dapat 11:30. Ang babata pa, mga ewan na pag dating sa punctuality. Dalawa lang dumating ng tama sa oras - si Ace achaka si Ivan. Ang pinaka-late pa na dumating, yun pinakamalapit lang nakatira! Phbttt!! Ang aga pa niya umalis, di nagpaalam ng maayos. Tsk tsk. Balahura. Pangit ugali. Hm.. nung pumunta ba ako sa Pasay, ganun din kaya naging ugali ko? Wala lang. Napaisip lang. Nakakatuwa naman yun iba niyang mga kaklase, makukulit at mashadong maligalig. ^-^ Bago sila umalis, kinantahan pa nga nila ako. Hwaha! "Thank you, thank you! Thank you very much! Thank you!" Hwahaha!! Parang nangangaroling.

Habang nagseserbidora ako, naglalaro ako ng RO on the side. Oo, kasi ako ay isang dakilang adek. ^-^ Kagabi nagshopping nga kami ni mahal sa Prontera City. Hwaha! Ang saya! Kanina, nagshopping kami uli. Binilhan niya ako ng tiara, earrings achaka romantic flower. ^-^ Bumili rin ako ng 2 gold rings kanina! Kasi may Christmas quest tapos pwede ka magpa-engrave ng rings, malalagay yun pangalan ng character mo. Pina-engrave namin tapos nag-exchange kami ng rings. Sweet noh?? ^-^ Sabi niya pag dating daw ng Amatsu, yun wedding system, papakasal daw kami in-game. Hwahaha! Excited ako! ^-^ Panibagong rings yun uli pero gusto ko pa rin isuot yun gold ring na may name nya. Papalit-palit nalang siguro. Kasi yun wedding ring ng babae, pwede ka magbigay ng SP sa lalake, yun wedding ring naman nun lalake, pwede magbigay ng HP sa babae. Ang sweeeeet! ^-^ Hay.. Adek adek na naman ako. Pag nagpasukan na, mamimiss ko ang RO.. T_T

Nakapagsimula na rin pala ako dun sa isa kong project habang hinihintay mga kaklase ni Ik. At least, nauunti-unti ko na. Parang gusto ko magpalit ng thesis topic para sa Bioresearch. Hm.. Or wag na lang. Hwaha. Bat ang gulo ko?? Kailangan ko lang mag-research pa nang todo-todo.. Yun na lang para mahirapan ako. At least ma-chachallenge ako. Kailangan ko nang gumamit ng utak. Baka kalawangin..hindi ako makapag-doctor. Speaking of utak at pagdodoctor, lumabas na yun partial results ng entrance exam ng DLSU. Pasado na pinsan ko.. kapatid ko kaya? Hay.. Please po, God, sana pasado sha.. Wala pa kasi yun name niya dun.. Sana by January, andun na.. Dun kasi talaga niya gusto pumasok.. Nakakalungkot naman kung di sha makakapasa..

Sinabi ni Ik kela mami ang tungkol sa DLSU results. Shempre, di na naman nila naiwasan ang mag-compare. Sabi ni mami, bat daw ganon, ako napasa ko lahat ng entrance exams ko, tas sha wala. Hay. Hindi pa naman final yun..sana. Makakapasa yun..sana. Hwahaha! Basta. Alam ko mas matalino sha sa akin kasi kahit hindi sha nag-aaral pumapasa sha sa mga test niya. Sinabi ko rin yun sa kanya dati. At shempre, natuwa naman si SK nun narinig niya na sinabe ko yun. Sabi ko nga ngayon, sa PLM na lang din si Ik mag-aral, mag-exam sha. Alam mo ano sabi ni SK? "Ang layo." Waw. Haha. Bakit ako? Pilit niya akong pinasok don eh ang dami ko namang pwedeng pasukan? Bat dati hindi niya naisip na malayo? Ako naman yun babae ah? Hindi ba mas delikado on my part yun? Ganon lang yata talaga ang buhay..ko. Bumulong din si mami kay dadi, "Wala na, patay na lahi niyo." Natawa na lang ako. Hwaha! Lagi kasi pinagmamalaki sa amin ni dadi yun mga pamangkin niya na matatalino, UP graduates, prof sa UP, may exhibit sa ganito sa ganyan - lalo na sa akin. Ewan kung bakit. Gusto ko nalang isipin na gusto niya, higitan ko yung nagawa nila or maging magaling din ako. Ang masasabi ko lang, "I am my worst enemy." Hindi ko kailangan makipag-compete against other people to prove my worth.

May nakwento si mahal sa akin kanina. Hm..parang napaisip ako na nalungkot na ewan. Hindi ko ma-describe. Selos ba? Hm.. Ewan. Di ko talaga sigurado. Naalala ko lang kasi yun mga kwento ni Jerry nung hindi pa kami ni mahal. Yun mga nakita daw niya kasama ni mahal yun crush niya na ganito ganyan. Tas biglang may kkwento sa akin si mahal na parang ganun.. Selos nga yata.. T_T Ewan meh. Sorry napaka-insecure kong tao.. Siguro kasi hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na kami na nga talaga.. As in kami na. Akala ko kasi talaga Utopian dream lang sha..hanggang dun lang.. Hanggang ngayon yata ganun pa rin ang feeling ko.. Kailan kaya ako magigising? Sana ngayon na.. Wag kung kailan huli na ang lahat..

Bumili na ng paputok mga pinsan ko! Exciting to!! Hwaha! Laging masaya dito pag new year's eve. Malakas yun sounds kasi nakalabas yun malalaking speakers ng mga pinsan ko. Tapos kulitan, mah-jong, inom.. Hwaha! Pero bukas, baka pa-gurl ang outfit ko. ^-^ Shempre, magsusuot ng pula pa rin. Hrm. Ano kaya? Red dress or red top tapos maong skirt? Hwahaha!! Halande. -_- Sana masaya bukas.. Isa lang sa tingin ko ang hindi magbabago pag new year's eve, lumalabas ang pagkakulot ng utak ni SK. Lagi yon. Walang palya. Kaya lagi kaming magkaaway ng gabi na yon.. at siguro yun ang dahilan kung bakit kami madalas mag-away sa loob ng taon. -_- Kulot ba naman against kulot. Wala naaaaaaaa. Patay naaaaaaaa. Mwehehe. =P

Gusto ko yata maglaro ng RO.. ngayon naaaaaaaaaaaa.

Gagawa pa pala ako ng Tiramisu. Hay. Daming kailangan gawin at gusto ko gawin pero parang wala akong gana gawin. Ang gulo. Naghihintay lang yata ako ng SUPER lapit na ng pasukan bago ako gumawa. Hay. Crammer. Ewan meh.

Tiiin* was starless at 6:06 PM
0 star(s)

Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Strike Two!!

Music that fits me today: Sandwich - Butterfly Carnival (when you feel you find it.. know you find it.. don’t forget your heart..)

Second time na. I don't say it on purpose. It's what I'm used to saying. But I swear I'll try to change. Heck. I won't try. I'll change. I swear I will.

Do I love myself? Tough question. I'd like to believe that I do. But judging from my past experiences, I think I don't..or didn't. Or maybe I did..at least a little. So the answer's yes.. Or maybe I always loved someone else more than I loved myself. Or maybe living with SK for 20 years has made me feel that I am unworthy of any love. Hrm. I may not be good enough for him, but at least other people think I'm useful. I, myself, think I have some use.

I'm not looking down on myself. I don't mean to sound like I am. I've been like this all my life. It comes out once in a while..and usually, the first hit is on my special someone. And I'm sorry.

All I need is to prove to myself that I can. I can. ^-^

I should start working on my projects soon. I was hoping I could do it tomorrow but tomorrow's my bro's birthday..and I'm serving. I can't do it on the 30th either because we're going to Bulacan, if it's not going to be cancelled. 31st? Hwahaha! I always end up doing my projects on the 31st. Swerte ba yun?? LOLx! Classes will resume on the 3rd of January so I REALLY better get to work. Kaya ko yan. Di ba, mahal? ^-^

I just finished my bro's layout. Birthday gift. Naks. He's been bugging me about it. Well, it's finally done. I'll post his site on my portfolio soon, including mahal's. You can check my bro's blog here.

Spark called. He was thinking that mahal and I were together while there was still him and me. Sabi niya kasi parang ang bilis na mahal na mahal ko na si SoulFly (He was probably comparing.). I can't help it if mahal makes me feel oh-so-comfortable and that makes it easy for me to love him. Pero nagpantig tenga ko twice or thrice because of his words. Dude. I will try to understand as best as I could but don't push me to my limits. Well, at least he's finally accepted the truth - "I guess the best man has won." Indeed.

I still have colds. And cough. And still quite hot. I think I've eaten more than a kilo of oranges already.

I haven't got much to write about.

I'm just glad that when I'm about to stop believing in myself, there's always someone who has a lot of faith in me. Thanks, mahal. I love you.

Tiiin* was starless at 11:43 PM
0 star(s)

Monday, December 27, 2004
Change or Permanence?

Music that fits me today: Meredith Brooks - B*tch

People take changes differently. Some accept them wholeheartedly and easily adapt to them. Some people exert all efforts to reject the change and keep their current condition. But when it comes to loving someone, is it right to change him/her? Aren't we supposed to accept the person entirely because we love them? Are we to mold them into the kind of character that we are? Or are we supposed to transform them into better people? Today, I learned that change is good if the change is for the good. And that that change should be accepted if you really love the person who's trying to change you.

Ik and I went shopping for his clothes today. SK gave us 1k each to splurge on clothes alone. Eh hindi naman ako ganon. I buy clothes pag kailangan ko lang or pag nakita ko accidentally, and I like it and kaya ko suotin. Anyway, Ik asked me to come along with him to treat him lunch. (Kafal noh?) And, of course, to get my opinion on what to buy. (Ngyaha! Feeling fashionista! :P) Ang mahal na ng damit ngayon. I'm glad we found some branded stuff on sale that are pretty good buys. (Maarte kasi yun. Pag hindi branded, di niya trip. -_-) 1k for 2 shirts and khaki shorts. Di na masama. ^-^

I only spent on food. Shempre di ko inubos yun 1k. May golay. Ano yun?? -_- We ate at Karate Kid. I luuurve their shrimp tempura. ^-^ Mahal should have gone with us but his mamu was meeting him at Bulats around lunch time din so I told him that I'll get him meryenda instead - KFC Chicken Caesar salad! ^-^ I've been dying to try that..pero wala eh..maybe some other time. He said it's good. I trust him. ^-^ I got the official food for the Bulats people - Dunkin' Donuts Big Bunch. ^-^ Yun lang. There goes a part of my 1k. I'm saving the rest for future reference. LOLx! Joke.. for emergency purposes and for savings na rin. ^-^

I haven't been feeling well.. Sipon. -_- Hay. Natuloy na sha. Last week, I was experiencing soar throat when I wake up in the morning and mawawala before lunch time and then back again at night. Ewan buzz. I was hoping I could go home with mahal tomorrow. Spend some quality time before the year ends and play with Gabby. ^-^ But..with this? I doubt if I can still go.. T_T Bahala na si batman bukas. If I'm super under the weather..goodbye 2004 nalang. LOLx! Ewan meh.

Tiiin* was starless at 11:09 PM
0 star(s)

Sunday, December 26, 2004
Gwabeh >_<

Music that fits me today: Simple Plan - Welcome to my Life

I feel like I have so much to do and I'm too preoccupied with other things to do the more important ones. Hahaha! Well..actually..I'm preoccupied with only two things: mahal and Ragnarok. LOLx! And my list of "IMPORTANT things to do" is pretty long..

1. Analytical Chemistry report
2. Bioresearch thesis
3. Technical Writing feasibility proposal (by group)
4. Techinical Writing .. I forgot..
5. Technical Writing group report
6. Asian Civilization Spratly's report
7. read in advance
8. fix my notes
9. wrap my books.. and bleah..

My mum suddenly asked about Spark earlier today. She was wondering why he hasn't been calling me. I told her that Spark and I had a fight and I doubt if he'd ever call me again. My mum's such a chismax! She was forcing me to tell her what we fought about. She was SUPER persistent and she even said na she'd call Spark herself to ask what happened so I thought I should tell her myself. She made me feel SUPER guilty about Spark. And from the way she talked about him, I get the feeling na parang boto yata sha kay Spark. Whatever. What's done is done. She urged me to greet Spark a merry Christmas but I thought that it would just hurt him even more and of course, I was sort of afraid na baka hindi niya pansinin. But eventually, I greeted him through text. Nakakainis talaga si mami. Ang lakas magpaguilty! Anyway, late this afternoon, he went OL and he greeted me back. We talked a bit about the past and then he surprised me when he referred to mahal as "mahal". Turns out, he's been reading my blog. Natawa ako and I told him that all his efforts are all too late. When we were together, he didn't have time to read my blog. Heck. Whatever. Past na yun. Although I feel sorry nga..kasi nga naman, sabi ni mami, magpapasko chaka ko pa yun ginawa. Eh.. sadyang malupit ang mundo. LOLx! Ewan ko. I'm sorry your Christmas sucked.

I was home alone for a couple of hours after lunch. My family went to shop for grocery. I didn't go because I was too lazy to and I planned to go see mahal. ^-^ The compound's pretty empty because about 90% went to Bulacan to celebrate Nana Inda's 80th birthday so I thought mahal can come over instead. Ahihi! =P I thought I'd give him a copy of my fave cd. It's a compilation of Taking Back Sunday, Juliana Theory, Silverstein, etc. So..there! He liked a couple of songs. Haha! I didn't think he'd like any of the songs. Mashado kasi shang rakista. I miss him na.. T_T Sana makasama sha sa amin ni Ik magshopping tomorrow. Plus, I'm treating them to lunch. Minsan lang yon!! Dapat makasama shaaa!! ^-^

Ang salbahe ni Ik. This morning he was bashing me about my driving skills. I don't suck naman eh. If I did, my teacher would have told me and he would have extended my driving classes and he wouldn't have told me that I should apply for my non-pro license soon. And then before they went to Unimart, he was asking me for 300 bucks to buy himself a Mojofly album, which will serve as my birthday gift to him. Kafal noh?? At first, we were joking around. He was even kneeling next to me, begging me. And I even said "Kiss muna!!". At magkkiss nga ang kolokoy! YAK! Later on, I told him that I didn't want to give him anything kasi lagi niya ako inaaway, like this morning about the driving thing. Nagsimula na sha manumbat and stuff like he usually does. Naasar ako. Iniwan ko yun pera sa table and I said, "O ayan, araw-arawin mo pag-away sa akin ha?" Hwahaha! He didn't take the money. Nahiya siguro. WAW. Bago yun. Dapat magpamisa. HWAHAHA!!

Ik's really celebrating his birthday with his friends on the 29th. Lucky kid. ^-^ My mum's actually preparing for his handa and stuff. And they're all excited about it. Ako? Ok lang. A bit envious lang. I know it's bad. And I should know and understand that by now. Sanay na ako dapat sa favoritism nila. Pero ewan ko ba. Siguro minsan hindi lang talaga maiiwasan. Basta.. at least I'm thankful for what I have now. ^-^ Sana lang maisip niya na swerte sha at sana matuto naman sha magpasalamat. Hindi biro yun handa na yun. At sana marealize din niya na mahal sha ng mga magulang namin. Alam ko naman na mahal din ako. Iba lang talaga. At ganun lang talaga. Hindi lahat ng bagay pwedeng maging equal - may lamang, may kulang. Yan ang buhay. ^-^

Tiiin* was starless at 11:18 PM
0 star(s)

Saturday, December 25, 2004
To see you when I wake up is a gift I didn't think could be real

Music that fits me today: Incubus - I Miss You

We attended mass last night. The place was jampacked to the doors, as always. We were sort of late because my mum fell asleep and she had to wait for me to finish bathing. LOLx! Oi, not my fault. She should've gone to bathe before me. Whatever. Anyway, we were standing the whole time so my bro was complaining the whole time as well. Hahaha! Muntik pa nga kami mag-away. Ako kasi, mainly, ang sinisisi niya kung bakit wala kaming maupuan, "Next time kasi, alamin niyo yung oras!" Sabi ko nalang, "Para tatayo ka lang ng isang oras para kay God, di mo pa magawa?" Hay. Senyorito kasi yon. Pero pag chicks naman ang iniintay, ok lang kahit gaano pa katagal. Eh di sana chicks nalang pala si God para walang reklamo. >_<

Nakakatawa nga si mami. We were standing next to each other and she kept on yawning. Hahaha!! Antok na antok. Kawawa naman. Naglalambing pa nga sha kagabi. After the "Ama Namin", she didn't let go of my hand. Sweet namin noh? Holding hands habang nagsisimba. =P Muntik rin kami mag-away kagabi. Dinadabugan ako. Topak talaga yun. Napaka-weird. >_< Hindi nalang ako kumibo. Kailan ba ko kumibo?? Ngyahaha!! Hanggang blog lang naman ako matapang. (Oi, chiklet lang natin to. Hehehe!!) Kagabi nga, for the first time, nag-Noche Buena kami. Hahaha!! My mum prepared talaga for it. Nakakatuwa. Isipin mo..after 20 years, chaka lang kami nakapag-Noche Buena. Eh dati-rati si SK lang at alagad nya ang kumakain pero parang midnight snack lang para sa kanila. Nakakatuwa rin naman pala mag-Noche Buena. ^-^

Si SK nakakahiya sa loob ng simbahan! >_< Kasi kahapon, dumating sila tito, nag-inuman sila. Ewan kung naka-ilan sha pero alam ko lasing na yun kasi may pagka-abnoy na sha magsalita. Well, actually, it depends on where he lets the alcohol go. If he let it go to his head, ako na nagsasabi sa iyo, wag mo nang kausapin. >_< If he let it go elsewhere, mas matino pa sha mag-isip minsan pag lasing. Anyway, nakakahiya sha kasi ang lakas lakas ng boses niya while singing songs of praise. As in nakakahiya talaga!! >_< Natatawa na nga lang kami ni mami eh. Panu ba naman.. even the little kids got scared of his singing. They probably thought he was crazy or something. LOLx! When we got home, he tried to defend himself naman. Sabi niya, "Sa mga videoke nga ang lakas lakas ng boses natin pag kumakanta, kahit wala sa tono, sa simbahan mahihiya ka?" Good point.

Natatawa rin ako sa mga tao sa simbahan kagabi. Some people looked like they were going to some party. I know that that mass was in celebration of Christ, pero tama ba mag-"little black dress"?? >_< May golay. Yung iba talaga kasi, "simbang japorms" lang kahit sobrang wala sa lugar yung suot. >_< (Si mahal yata nagsabi sa akin nung term na yun. Hehe!) Kapatid ko nga eh, tanong pa, "Alin ba bagay sa khaki shorts ko? KG1 or yung Reebok?" >_< Ambot sa imo. Nakita nga niya yun top na dapat susuotin ko because my mum has been bugging me to wear it, sabi ba naman, "Pang-matanda yang isusuot mo ah..?? Wag ka tatabi sa akin!" >_< Wow ah! Actually, naisip ko rin naman na baka hindi ko carry isuot yun at baka hindi ako maging comfortable habang nagmimisa kaya I opted for a shirt. Simple lang. ^-^ God won't judge us for what we wear anyway. ^-^

Masaya ang pagsalubong ko sa pasko ngayong taon! ^-^ Kahit umuwi si mahal, kahit hindi ako nakasama, kahit hindi kami magkasama at kahit hindi kami nagkita. Nakalaro ko naman kasi sha ng Ragnarok kahapon tapos nakausap ko pa sha for almost 4 hours!! It's the longest time I've been on the phone!! And GAWD I miss him so bad. >_< In-game, he gave me a Christmas present. Western Grace!! ^-^ I've always wanted one and all of a sudden he requests a deal and TADAH! ^-^ Ang saya sobra!! ^-^ Kahit virtual lang yon, it means a lot to me na alam niya kung anong gusto ko. And I just LUUURVE surprises! ^-^ Mukha nga akong tanga kahapon, todo ngiti!! Ngyahaha!! Hay.. Miss ko na talaga sha. I wish I could go back there and we can sleep on the couch. LOLx! Masarap pala matulog sa sofa?? ^-^ Tinanong nga daw ni mamu sa kanya kung bakit hindi ako kasama. T_T Ok lang yun..at least I know na she doesn't hate me. Maybe his ate Betsy does though.. T_T

Ako..wala man lang akong gift kay mahal in-game. I already gave him his gift pala!! I gave it last time we were in his home. Ako pa nga nagsuot nung isa sa kanya eh. ^-^ It's a pair of earrings na I really dig. Haha! Kailan ba ako namigay ng bagay na hindi ko gusto?? Kaya nga ang hirap hirap mag-let go of things na I get for other people. Parang minsan nadedemonyo ako, like I want it for myself. HWAHAHA!! Ewan ko buzz. Gumawa nga ako ng 8 gift boxes last night sa RO. I opened each one this morning. The most special thing I got was a Yoyo doll. Special na yun ha! >_< Buti sana kung Santa Poring Card yon katulad ng nakuha ni Aik, yun nalang sana gift ko sa kanya. T_T

Gwabeh. I slept at 5am and I woke up at 9!! Anu buzz!! I told myself I should go back to sleep after breakfast but I couldn't because I was too full. LOLx! So to try to push the food down, I thought I'd do something else. I tried if Windows documents can be opened on this Mac. Yup! I'm writing this from the PowerBook laptop. ^-^ It can convert PC to Mac files naman eh. I just hope my PC can convert Mac to PC files or all this will just go to waste. >_< Speaking of laptops, totoo kayang bibilhan na ako soon?? Hrm.. Kahit ano ne.

Last night, mahal and I were talking about pretty serious stuff. (Wag ka na umangal! ;))) He told me about his first impression of me. Akala daw niya, coniotic ako. HWAHAHA!! Who didn't?? Even my closest friends now thought that I'd never eat at carinderias. Lagi nga ako inaasar ng PUBES kasi puro sila kanto boy at gala kaya ang dami nilang alam na mga pagkain na hindi ko kilala. Kaya pala non, nung kumakain kami nila mahal and ku-yamot ng dinuguan, sabe niya, "Kumakain ka pala nyan??" Hwahaha!! One of my fave foods yon!! ^-^ But above all, I love sinigang! ^-^ Si Pekto rin kahapon, he asked me if I wanted "kapsilog" yata yun. I didn't know what he was talking about so he explained that it's kape, sinangag and itlog. (Tama ba?? >_< My memory sucks. -_-) Tapos sabi niya, mayaman daw kasi ako kaya hindi ko yun alam. NGEH?! Di ko alam yun term pero alam ko yun food. And I don't drink coffee. Hanggang Mocha Frap lang ako sa Starbucks and I doubt if it's even coffee.. Coffee nga ba?? LOLx! See!! I have no idea. >_< Pero sa totoo lang, hindi ako ganon ka enjoy sa mga bahay ng mayayaman. Mas gusto ko pang umupo sa sahig at makipaglaro sa makulit na bata kesa umupo sa malambot na sofa at manood sa eklat-inch na TV. >_< At oi, hindi kami mayaman. ASA. >_<

Hrm..naniniwala ako na lahat ng tao may kanya-kanyang tinatagong kademonyohan. Na sa kapwa na niya yung desisyon kung paano nila sha tatanggapin. Alam na ni mahal mga sungay ko. >_< Natutuwa naman ako na tanggap naman niya. ^-^ Ang lakas kasi ng signal pag kasama or kausap ko sha. Tumatayo yung mga sungay ko. HWAHAHA!! Ay, oo pala pati buntot lumalabas. HWAHAHA!! Hm..si mahal kaya..ano kayang tinatago nun..? Ang bilis noh? Parang napakacomfortable ko talaga pag kasama or kausap ko sha. Parang napakatagal na namin magkakilala. Eh..wait. Matagal na kami magkakilala, may 4 years na yata. Pero kailan lang kami naging close pero parang ang tagal na naming close. Nagets niyo ba ha?? Hehehe!! Basta..kahit ano pwede kong sabihin sa kanya at hindi ko kailangan matakot na baka i-judge niya ako sa mga pinagsasasabe ko or iwanan (wag naman po sana.. >_<). Chaka sa kanya, pakiramdam ko napaka-safe ko at hindi ko kailangan mag-isip ng kung anu-ano pa. Sha na nga talaga ang aking tsinelas. ^-^

PS. Nakakainis!! Pinapakielaman na naman ako ng kapatid ko!! Pinagsasampay ako ng mga damit niya. Wala na daw akong ginagawa dito sa bahay, ayaw ko pa sha ipagsampay. Oi, bakit ba? Bakit ba kailangan niya gambalain ang araw ko?? Susumbat pa sa akin ang pagkapanganay ko. Eh ano naman kung panganay ako?? Paskong-pasko ehhh!! Ang saya ko na ehhh!! Grr.

PPS. Oi! Tumawag na si mahal!! ^-^ Ok na ako ulit. HAHAHA!! ^-^

Tiiin* was starless at 11:25 AM
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Friday, December 24, 2004
Why do you make something so easy so complicated

Music that fits me today: Usher - Simple Things

Hay naku. 7 gising na ako. >_< Di naman ako nagpa-alarm at wala akong balak na gumising ng ganon kaaga. Eh baket ganonnnnnn??

Pagbaba ko, my mami asked me to clean the chicken she brought home from the market because she has to go to work. Marunong ba ko nun?? >_< Sinubukan ko nalang gawin. Nakikita ko naman sha dati pag naglilinis ng mga pinamili niya sa market. Inaasinan tapos tinatanggalan ng balat. Pero di ko tinanggal yung balat. Gusto ko yun eh. Hehehe!!

I was hungry but nobody made breakfast and there is NO breakfast. X_x I decided that my bro and I should get something from Ponyang's. Jan lang yon sa tabi ng tapat ng gate namin. We both got a burger. He got spaghetti and I got palabok. YUM! ^-^ Sabi niya happy meal daw. Haha! Sabi ko KKB kami kasi mas may pera naman sha sa akin, ako pa manlilibre. Achaka ang kuripot nya!! Lahat nalang ni-rereimburse nya kay mami!! >_< Eh..ayaw niya KKB so..wala na kong nagawa. X_x Ok lang naman. Basta nabusog kami! ^-^

Papakita ko sa inyo yung transition. Kaninang umaga naglolokohan pa kami at masaya. Ngayon, dinadabugan niya ako. >_< Eh kasi pinapasampay niya sa akin yun nilabhan ni Super Kulot na sa kanya naman inutos pero sinasabi niya, binilin daw sa kanya para ipasampay sa akin. Oi. Asa. O_o Ang tamad-tamad niya. >_< Sabi ko tutulungan ko sha, sasampay ko lahat ng pantalon, sha na bahala sa iba. Sinampay ko naman. Eh malay ko bang iisa lang yun pantalon dun?? Tapos galit pa sha!! Tinulungan na galit paaa!! Phbttt!! Hay naku. Magsama sila.

Nagbblog na ako ngayon kasi baka mamaya di ko na magawa. Magsisimba daw kami ng 10pm. Marami daw kasing tao pag 12. Hm hm hm. Matunaw kaya ako pagtapak ko sa simbahan?? Hehe! Wala lang. Ilang taon na ba akong hindi nakakapagsimba?? May isang taon na yata. Dati-rati, ang aga aga namin nagsisimba ni Aik. Mga 7 yata yun or 730. Tapos mga makikita mo, yun iba natutulog lang, nagdadaldalan, nagtetext at kung anu-ano pa. Eh bat pa sila nagsimba?? Nakakawalang-gana. Pati yung pari inaantok! >_< Sigurado may presentation na naman dun mamayang gabi. Dun ako natutuwa eh. Lalo na pag mga bata pa yun nagppresent. Parang napapaniwala ako na meron pang mababait na tao sa mundo..hindi katulad ko. HWAHAHA!!

Oi, I influenced a couple of people to join blogger! Shouldn't I get incentives for that?? Hehehe!! Si mahal nagbblog na. Si Aik nagbblog na din. Nagpapagawa nga sha ng layout eh. X_x Eh..parang tulog pa yun kanang bahagi ng aking brain. Wala akong ma-imagine o ma-picture para sa layout niya. Maya-maya siguro pag umalis na sha chaka na ako gagawa. Ang hirap din kasi gawan nun o tulungan in any way. Pag di niya trip, dami kang maririnig. >_<

Sabi ni mahal magkikita daw kami mamaya. Eh mukhang hindi pwede.. T_T Matatapos yun simba ng 11. Si SK, baka magnoche buena mag-isa niya or kasama ang kanyang alagad. Di ako makakalabas. T_T Hay.. Miss ko na si mahal.. Kung di ko sha makita today..marami pa namang ibang araw.. Duh buzz? ^-^

Oi! I wish you and your families a BLESSED AND MERRY CHRISTMAAAS!! mmmmmmwaaaaaaaaaah!! Peace! ^-^

Tiiin* was starless at 10:09 AM
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Thursday, December 23, 2004
simple things is what my heart beats for

Music that fits me today: Jojo - Baby It's You

I just had my fill of my mami's chicken curry. BURP! Haha! My bro and I had lunch before 1130. Ang aga. >_< Aalis daw kasi sha. Makikipag-date na naman kay Jerbax. Hwahaha! Seryoso na..magpapaturo mag-gitara. Anyway, I feel so batugan today. >_< I slept at 1am, woke up at 7, slept at around 2pm and woke up at 4. Hwaha! Hay. Wala kasing magawa. Wala si mahal, wala akong kakulitan. Wala na. I was playing RO after lunch but when it began to lag, ay nako. Tulog na lang. Ngyaha!

I was with mahal this morning. I was dying to see him because I didn't see him yesterday. Eh maaga kasi sila aalis for mobile eklat..mga 9:30 daw pero indi naman umalis ng ganung time. Haha! Palpak talaga yon pag dating sa pag-estimate ng oras. Blehhh!! :p Sandali lang kami magkasama, mga 30 minutes? Pero solve na ko don. ^-^ Maamoy ko lang sha, solve na ko eh! Hwaha! ^-^ Bat ba ang babaw ko.. >_< Miss ko na nga sha ulit e.. Hay.. Sayang.. Sana pwede ako sumama pag umuwi sha.. Sabi ng mamu niya, pumunta daw ako..andun daw kasi buong pamilya nila. Kaso shempre di naman pwede.. Kahit hindi naman kami pareho ng mga pure Pinoy mag-celebrate ng pasko, shempre di kami pwede umalis ng bahay ng 24-25. Sayang talaga.. T_T Isipin ko na lang..madami pa namang paskong darating..at sa mga paskong yon..sana kasama ko na si mahal magcelebrate! ^-^

Dalawang tulog nalang, pasko na. Sa bahay, physically, mukha nang pasko. Pero sa hearts ng mga taong nakatira dito..pasko na kaya? Eh sa hearts ng lahat ng tao? Hrm.. Sana alam ng mga tao ang totoong meaning ng Christmas. Para sa akin, Christmas is a time for forgiveness, thanksgiving and love. It's not about how many gifts you received or how much you spent to give out gifts. It's not about how bright you've made your house using Christmas lights. It's not about the expensive decorations that go on sale a couple of months after anyway. Sana this Christmas, people would learn to forgive, give love and give thanks to God for the many blessings He bestowed upon all of us. ^-^

I think I shall start. ^-^ I forgive whoever thinks s/he did me wrong in any way. The only inevitable part to us humans, it to forget. Memories will never fade and will forever remain. I also ask for forgiveness to the people I've wronged. Lalo na sa mga nasaktan ko.. sila K, D, E and S at yun iba pa..nakalimutan ko na..>_< Basta alam niyo na kung sino kayo. I'm sorry you had to be with me during the darkest days of my life. And I'm sorry you had to bare with me during those times when I was confused and indecisive. I'm really sorry.

God, thank you for sending me earthly angels like my mami, my bro, my amah and my friends. Thank you rin po for giving me Super Kulot. They have stood by me through rough winds and smooth roads. Thank you for all the challenges you threw onto me and thank you for giving me the strength to go through them all. And last but definitely not the least, thank you for making my utopian dream come true - for giving me mahal. He is the best gift I've ever received for Christmas. Now that I have him, I promise to treasure him all the days of my life. ^-^

As for love, sana lahat tayo ay magmahalan. With love comes all the other virtues. Kaya, (imitating Sandara Park) mahal ko kayo! HWAHAHA!!

Hay naku si mahal. >_< I feel so bad everytime he tells me that I don't trust him. T_T The issue is about me always asking him why he's staring at me. >_< Ehhhhhhh hindi ko nga kaya yon.. I get insecure when people stare at me..or LOOK at me even. Ehh..baket nga ba?? Kahit sino pa yun tumitingin.. Naiilang lang talaga ako.. Hindi naman trust issue yon.. Ewan ko na.. Hindi ko na alam paano i-eexplain.. T_T

Tiiin* was starless at 9:25 PM
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Music that fits me today: Linkin Park - Numb

I look forward to waking up in the morning dahil alam kong may naghihintay sa akin. ^-^ Nakakatuwa! ^-^ Naniniwala na talaga ako na "good things come to those who wait". ^-^

I promised to myself that I will clean the house today. Yun daw kasi ang main reason kung bakit hindi ako kinikibo ng mga tao dito sa bahay - wala raw akong ginawa kundi magPC. >_< Kung wala akong ginagawa, malamang nakahubad ako ngayon. Kung wala akong ginagawa, malamang iniipis na yung mga dapat hugasan sa lababo. Kung wala akong ginagawa, bleah. >_< Kailangan ba talaga magsumbatan?? Hay. Ewan. Basta nagpakapagod ako ngayon sa paglinis ng bahay. Tapos, anong nangyari? Wala lang. LOLx! Ganun lang talaga yata. Pag may mali ka, sisitahin ka. Pag may nagawa kang tama, wala lang. What does it take to show a little bit of appreciation? Mas mahirap ba talagang magpasalamat kesa magalit o manumbat?? Hmm..siguro nga mahirap..para sa mga taong ma-pride.

I finished cleaning in 2 or 3 hours. After which, while I was cooking my amah's food, I was working on mahal's new blog layout. My cousin saw what I was doing. Si Ato. Rakista din yon at magaling mag-drawing. Tawag sa kanya ng friends niya, "Ato d Tattoo". Siguro kung adik adik din sha sa computers, professional graphics and web designer na yun ngayon. He saw the layout and thought that the pic was cool. He asked me how to design layouts, what programs do I use to make those and stuff. I maximized the Notepad window, he saw all the codes and he went, "T*NG*N*!! AYOKO NG MGA GANYAN!!" AHAHAHA!! Ngayon lang ako nakarinig ng ganong reaction. Nakakatawa! Uhm..ang babaw ko ba?? Pasensya na.. >_< Anyway, I hope mahal would like this new layout better.. >_<

Wala na yata akong makwento.. Teka.. Mag-iisip ako..

Sa 26, birthday ni Nana Inda. Ninang sha ni mami nung binyag niya chaka ninang din niya nung kinasal siya chaka kapatid sha ni angkong. (Tama ba ko..kapatid nga ba.. May golay.. Bat kasi ang laki ng pamilyang ito.. >_< LOLx! Magreklamo ba raw.. >_<) She's turning 80 and it's the first time that she invited anybody to her party. May pagka-ano kasi yon.. Ahm.. Nevermind.. >_< Mami says she might not go anymore because her enemies are going to attend the said party. I told her that she's not going to that party to see anyone else but her ninang bakit kailangan niya isipin na andun yun mga kaaaway niya duh buzz?? Sino ba sila?? Achaka, may golay >_<, it's the first time na nag-invite yun tao and she's turning 80!! 80!! Malay natin na one of the things she wants to do before whatever is to see the entire clan?? Hay naku. Basta. I think we should go. Walang sisihan!! >_<

Kanina nagayos kami ng gamit ng kapatid ko. I saw this wrapped package with a gree ribbon on it. I was baffled because I can't remember why I have that package. >_< I kept pressing on it, trying to feel what was inside. And then I remembered. It's my pasalubong for Merrie from Singapore. May golay. >_< Eh kelan pa ko nagpunta sa Singapore nung huli?? 2 years ago na ba?? Or 1?? Ibig sabihin, ganon na kami katagal hindi nagkikita ni Merrie!! >_< Grabeh. Ang tagal na! >_<

May mobile si mahal ngayon. Sabi niya wag ko na daw sha hintayin kasi gabi na or baka madaling-araw na sila makauwi. Ehh..parang gusto ko maglaro ng RO. Hahaha! Nakabot na nga gusto pang maglaro.. Adek adek. >_< Ewan ko ba.. Wala kasing lag..kaya nakakaengganyo. Tama ba yung word ko?? Hay naku. Matatanda na kayo. Kaya niyo na intindihin yan. LOLx! Lalaro muna aku! Over-weight na kasi si MCP. Babu!

Tiiin* was starless at 11:20 PM
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Tuesday, December 21, 2004
I'm Sorry I can't be Perfect

Music that fits me today: Simple Plan - Perfect

I slept at 3 this morning to wake up at 7. >_< Kabalew. LOLx! Mahal and I went strolling again from 11pm to 230am. He promised that that was the last time we're doing that. Ok lang sa akin. Pabor sa min yun pareho because we'll get to sleep earlier than usual. Wala lang. Nakwento ko lang.

I had to wake up at 7 because Mahal and I and his younger sister, Beng, had to leave at 8 for Pasay - home sweet home nila. ^-^ It wasn't traffic at all so we got there pretty fast. Honestly, I was nervous to go there..kahapon pa. >_< I couldn't even figure out what to wear!! I don't know what happened, but it seems like I've used up all my clothing resources. LOLx!

His mamu was warm naman. She was matanong, a little bit makwento, and she was forcing me to eat something.. >_< How could I eat when I couldn't?! Ngyaha! Ang gulo. Rephrase. How could I eat when I was too nervous to?! >_< Feeling ko nga sumama loob niya sa akin eh.. Because before I left, she was giving me this pack of wafers, eh I was tying my hair so I took it from her, said thanks, and then I put it down on the table and continued tying my hair. She went, "Bakit ba ayaw mo iuwi?" >_< Nasabi ko nalang, "Hindi po. Iuuwi ko po yan..salamat po." >_< So lame. LOLx! I'm so lame. >_<

My first impression of his ate Betsy was mataray or bossy. Basta someone who knows that she's in command and she knows what she's doing. When I was with Gabby, mahal's little cute nephew, she came in the room and interviewed me. LOLx! Nakakatakot. >_< It felt..weird. LOLx! Usually, when I'm being introduced to family members, the usual questions are about my education and family background and my future plans. But his ate Betsy asked me questions like, "Pano mo nakilala si Bong?", "Gaano na kayo katagal magkakilala?", "Kelan lang kayo nag-break ng ex mo na friend niya?" Kakaibuzz. >_< Basta. I find her really intimidating.

Gabby!! The cute kid I was dying to meet. ^-^ When he first saw me, he was hiding. LOLx! Nahihiya daw. Later on, he was waiting for me to come out of the bathroom and he grabs my hand and goes, "Tita Tin, tita Tin, laro po tayo!" Hahaha!! Ang cute cute nya talaga!! ^-^ Sobrang gulo niya nga lang.. Super kulit.. Super kitikiti.. Pero super adorable and malambing. ^-^ I love him na. Hahaha! Namimiss ko na nga sha eh.. Sana I can take him home. HAHAHA!! Ano kala mo don sa bata?? Happy meal?!

There's one thing I learned today: sobra ang self-discipline ni mahal. Na-elib ako. SOBRANG ELIB. Mataas tingin ko dun sa taong yon - sobrang taas. Siguro it's one of those reasons kung bakit hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na we're together now. Basta. All I know is, I love him more than yesterday and the day before that and blah. And I love him more than I've loved anybody in my entire life. And I love him so much as to think that he'd be my last and my one and only. ^-^

Late na kami nakauwi. I told my mum na I'd be home by 7pm but I didn't make it. >_< The cabs won't give us a ride kasi so we had to take the..LRT? or MRT? Hahaha!! I have no idea. Basta. Anyway, I got home before 8pm..an hour after. >_< I knew I was screwed. My mum goes, "San ka ba galing?! Patay ka sa tatay mo!!" My bro, nung kaming dalawa lang, "Hoy..San ka ba talaga nanggaling? Lagot ka.. You're grounded.." Hindi naman ako kinakausap ni Super Kulot. Mabuti nga talaga pag we're not in speaking terms. At mas maigi pa nga na I'm not forcing him to like me at all. Tama na yon. Tapos na ko don. Ayaw ko naman masuklian ng kaplastikan.

Nasabi ko to kay mahal kanina sa jeep. Minsan lang ako nakakalabas kaya pag nasa labas na ako, parang ayaw ko nang umuwi kaya sinasagad ko na. Ilang beses na ba ko nagrounded buong buhay ko?? Hahaha! Sanay na. Ganon lang naman yun e. Hindi ka makakalabas ng bahay. As if naman araw-araw ka nakakalabas. >_< I remember the "saying" about holding on to sand. When you tighten your grip, grains of sand would slip. When you loosen it up, it'll just be resting on your palm. Joven tried to help me putting it into better terms by using the song A Letter to Elise by The Cure:

and every time I try to pick it up
like falling sand
as fast as I pick it up
it runs away through my clutching hands

Hindi totoo na malakas ako. Akala mo lang yon. May mga araw (at marami) na gusto ko lang umiyak maghapon magdamag. Gusto kong isipin kung anong nagawa kong mali nung umpisa pa lang - simula nung pinanganak ako at baka ito ang pinakamaling nangyari sa lahat. Akala mo lang na confident ako. Totoo lang, mababa ang tingin ko sa sarili ko. I am undeserving of mahal, unworthy of my parents' love and unsuitable for being given life. Kaya lagi ako nagtatanong ng "Bakit?" dahil naniniwala ako na lahat ng bagay may dahilan. Kung walang dahilan, para san pa?? This belief has kept me sane enough to have survived for 20 years here on earth, in this house and in this life.

Tiiin* was starless at 8:21 PM
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Monday, December 20, 2004
Life's a Rollercoaster

Music that fits me today:

I was super excited to go out with mahal but he had to cancel because he got home at around 1pm na yata. :-s Sayang. But it's ok! We pushed the date to tomorrow! ^-^ I'm still suuuuuuuuuuuuper excited! ^-^ I haven't seen him for 2 days now. >_< Super tough. But then, it's days like these that you realize how important a person is to you. And shempre, I can never compete with work. Di ba kasama yun sa rules ng bf/gf relationship?? 1-Barkada time is barkada time. 2-Work time is work time. 3-Gf/bf time is gf/bf time. And the list goes on. Nasasabik na ako makita sha tonight. ^-^ He visits me at night and we stroll around and just talk about anything under the sun er..moon. Quality time! ^-^

Hrm.. Super Kulot was shooting at me again.. >_< He wants us to clean up the place but my bro cleans naman everyday yata. (Or baka fake lang. LOLx) Anyway, we're not in speaking terms, so my bro asked me if I were going out tomorrow. I said yes so he told SK that we'll clean up on the day after tomorrow. Then SK goes, "Wag naaa!! Sa pasko nalang kayo maglinis!!" Ngyaha. Talk about sarcasm. I wonder.. what did I do this time?? Maybe he doesn't want me to go out of the house? Pero DUH! Bakit bawal, aber?? Wala na ngang school, bawal pa din. >_< Does he not know that if I weren't home today, he wouldn't have gotten the information he needed from his car?? May golay. And then I remember years ago, he had called me "ingrate". I wonder.. to whom does that word really apply to anyway??

I created a new layout for mahal's blog while he was still faaaaaaaar away. I think I'm becoming rusty. >_< I found myself guessing the right tag for this and that. Luckily, my guesses were right or else I would have torn my hair off my scalp. LOLx! Brutal! Hwahaha! I pictured something cool before I started working on the layout..but when I was done with it, it looked awful. Well, I wouldn't have realized that until mahal commented on it. Maybe I was just dying to finish something so that I could have a sense of fulfillment. Lately, I feel so worthless and unappreciated and unloved and..bleah (to my family, especially to my parents..not to mahal..he's the only person who makes me feel cherished right now. ^-^). Plus, I feel so tired lately. I know I sleep late but I get to wake up late rin naman so there shouldn't be any problem with that. Iba pa rin siguro yung nakatulog ka ng gabi..at sa tamang oras. Ehhhh..ewan ko ba. I don't feel like doing that.

My computer's going ga-ga. It started yesterday morning when the monitor suddenly lost power. As usual, the common cure was to remove the speaker's power cable which is attached to the monitor's power cable which is then connected to the power supply. >_< It's almost always grounded. And then today, when I connected my earphones to this thing (because somebody removed it, and he shouldn't have!!), the monitor started freezing and turning itself on and off. Things got even worse when I encountered a Windows error, when my CPU started rebooting itself. >_< And may golay, my friggin Windows installer is still at the pahiraman. >_< Mahal offered to reformat this thing for me on Wednesday but I told him not to. Look at my contrasting ideologies: 1-Kaya ko naman gawin yon by myself. I can even setup this thing to be connected to my LAN. 2-I want him here. I want to see him. >_< Ano ba yun nauna? Pride? Hwaha!! Meron pa pala ako non. Akala ko nung nagpakatanga ako kay Spark, wala na ako non. HWAHAHA!! At yung pangalawa..love ba yan? Or selfishness? LOLx! Pero seriously, I don't want him here on Wednesday kasi we're cleaning on that day. He offered to help with that, too. >_< Sabe ko ayako kasi he's not my achay and this is not our house naman. (When I say "our" as in mine and his.) Kung amin ito, talagang maglilinis sha. Hwahaha! :P

Demsey's inviting me over to his place on the 22nd. Birthday nya kasi. I think the PUBES are going to be there. Except si Joven yata. (That b*atch!! Ngyaha!! He keeps on telling me that my blog sucks. As if yours rocks?! >:P) He says he's a busy man. Whatever. Bobet offered to meet me at SM Centerpoint so we can go to Dems' place together since I don't know how to get there. >_< Pinakalove ko talaga yun si Bobet sa PUBES. He's super nice. ^-^ Love ko naman silang lahat. Shempre noh. They're my friends. And sometimes, they'll surprise you with things na you'll never think they'd do for you. (Tama na..baka lumaki na ulo nila. Malaki na nga eh..HWAHAHA!! Achaka baka masira yung image ng PUBES! Ngyaha!) ^-^ Anyway, I'm not sure if I will be allowed to go to Dems' party. 6pm daw ang start e.. Gud lak na lang sa kin. >_<

Tiiin* was starless at 9:58 PM
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Sunday, December 19, 2004
There's only one thing in my mind

Music that fits me today: MYMP - A Little Bit

We went to Pampanga today for our Christmas reunion. We left at 8 and we got there before 10. Shempre, as usual, nagmano sa lahat ng matanda before settling wherever. Ngayon ko lang nalaman na may bago pala akong pinsan. >_< She's 3 months old. Ang cuuuuuute cuuuuuute!! May golay. Kinarga ko nga sha eh.. ^-^ Parang akala nya ata sa kin higaan. >_< Kasi pag kuha ko sa kanya, she rested her head on my shoulder. Nakakatuwa! ^-^ I watched her nga while she was sleeping. Super mantika!! Hahaha!! She won't budge sa noise and stuff. Pag parang nagigising sha, just tap-tap her a bit, tulog na ulit. Hahaha!! Ang sarap alagaan.. ^-^

Kaasaran ko na naman si Tita Rubi. Haha! Lagi naman eh. Hindi kasi sha pikunin. Yun ang gusto ko sa taong marunong mang-asar - marunong rin tumanggap ng pang-aasar. ^-^ Natatawa nga sila lola at lolo sa akin eh. Kasi ako lang daw kaya mangulit sa tita kong yon. Takot kasi sila don kasi si tita ang nagffund for most of their needs kaya yun, hindi nila mahiritan. Eh ako, I don't need anything from her. LOLx! Achaka pang-aasar is just for fun, dudels. ^-^ Sha nga unang nag-abot ng grasya. Ngyahaha!! AWOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!

My relatives were playing Text Twist on Tito Joey's laptop and they asked me to join. Ngyaha! Maangas kasi ako sa kanila. Lagi ko silang kinukulit na pag taga-PLM talaga, matalino! Hahaha!! ^-^ Hindi ko naman sila nabigo. Naabot namin ang level 19 at ang score ay 90K yata. Ngyahaha!! Elib nga sila sa akin. Hihihi!! Minsan lang yonnnnnnnn!! ^-^

Hindi ako mashado nakapaghugas ng pinggan doon kasi by batch kami kumain. Ewan ko ba. Dati lahat kami sabay sabay kumakain sa banana leaf. Ang korni ngayon. >_<

Ka-text ko si mahal the whole day. Nakakatuwa!! ^-^ Sana matuloy kami umalis bukas kasi excited na talaga ako makasama sha ng matagaaaaaal. At parang gusto ko bukas ko na ibigay yun gift ko sa kanya. ^-^ Excitingggggggggggg!! ^-^ Sana matapos na agad yun disco eklat na yun para makabalik na sila at matuloy kami bukas.. >_< Please po, God, please? ^-^ Miss ko na sha sobraaaaaaaa!! At mahihirapan na ako umalis ulit before Christmas.. >_<

Tiiin* was starless at 7:03 PM
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Saturday, December 18, 2004
Life's got to always be messing with me

Music that fits me today: Korn - Freak on a Leash

Hay.. Ang ganda na ng araw ko.. nasira pa.. Well, actually, when I woke up, nasira na.. >_< Si Damot kasi, ayaw magpalogin sa YM. Laro ng laro ng RO. Pero pag ako naman naglalaro, todo alt+tab pa ako para lang masilip niya yung bot niya. Ang buhay ba talaga, kahit kailan hindi magiging fair??

Buti nalang may tumawag, hinahanap sha. Nakasingit ako. Sabi na nga ba hinihintay na ako ni mahal.. >_< Kaya, ayun. Pumunta na lang ako sa Bulats kasama sha at iniwan ang magaling na si Damot. HMPH!! Mamatay sha sa LAG!!

Ang saya niya kasama! ^-^ Yun nga lang, inaantok kasi ako. Hindi sha nakakaantok!! Baka kulang lang ako sa tulog. >_< Naglaro kami ng RO, as usual. Pag tapos non, kwentuhan lang. ^-^ Ganun lang masaya na ako. ^-^ 2pm na ako bumalik..magshshopping pa kasi ako for presents with my family. >_<

May gift na ako para kela shobe at sa mga siblings nya. Unang una ko ngang nabili ay yung gift para kay Damot. (Nakakainis!!) At shempre, may gift na rin ako para kay mahal. ^-^ Excited na nga ako ibigay eh! ^-^

Ang sama sama ng loob ko ngayon. Unang una, si Damot, ang sabi "Bakit ito pa regalo mo sa kin hindi na lang un Juno na guidebook?!" Wow ah!! Hindi pa nya nakikita kung ano regalo ko nun may reklamo na agad sha!! Eh di napasigaw tuloy ako. "EH DI ITAPON MO KUNG AYAW MO!!" Lagi nalang kasi shang ganyan. Uuwian mo ng pagkain, itatanong sa yo ganon din, "Bakit yan, hindi nalang ganito, ganyan." Ilang beses ko na rin sinabe sa sarili ko na hindi ko na sha bibilhan ng kahit ano. Ewan ko ba kung bakit hindi ako matutotuto at bili pa rin ako ng bili. >_< Nakakainis talaga!!!

Isa pa yun si Super Kulot!! Kumampi pa talaga!! NAKANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEWAN NAMAN TONG BUHAY NA TO OHHHHHH!! Anu buzz. -_- Nakakainisssssssssssssssssssssss!! Porket lalake si Damot at sha ang magdadala ng apilido ng mga Pineda P*TA*NA kampi sha dun lagi!! HINDI AKO MAGWWISH NA LALAKE AKO OI!! WALA KO PAKE SA SURNAME!! SURNAME LANG YAN!! HINDI IMPORTANTE YON!! ANG IMPORTANTE, KUNG ANONG KLASENG TAO KA!! KUNG PLASTIC LANG NA KATULAD MO, HINDI NALANG!! MABUTI AT BABAE AKO!! KUKUHA AKO NG SURNAME NG IBA!! P***********!!!!

At last but not the least, ang pinakatopakin sa lahat. Si mami. >_< Anu bang ginawa ko ha?? Hindi ko ba ginawa yun pagkain ni amah?? May kulang ba sa chores ko?? Meron ba kong hindi sinunod na utos?? What?? WHAT?? Ang dami nya lagi sinasabi.. yung ganito hindi ginanon, bla bla. Yung tatay ko daw pikon na pikon na sa kin. Wow ah!! Anung ginawa ko buzz?? Hindi na nga ako nagsasalita eh!! EH BAT MASAMA PA RIN ANG LABAS KO!! AKO!! AKO!! LAGI NALANG AKO!! >_< Kung wala lang akong mahal, nagpakamatay na ko eh. T**** EHHH!!! >_<

ISANG TAON NA LANG!! LEKAT!! AALIS NA TALAGA AKO DITO. HINDI NIYO NA AKO MAKIKITA. PANGAKO!! TAGA MO SA BATO AT SA KOKOTE NG KAHIT SINO!! KONTING TIIS NA LANG. MALAPIT NA YON!! MALAPIT NA MALAPIT NA!!

Minsan, talagang sobra na. Minsan, talagang hindi mo na kaya. Minsan, talagang kelangan mo lang bumigay. Minsan, talagang maririndi ka. Minsan..parang ayaw mo na..

Tiiin* was starless at 11:09 PM
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Friday, December 17, 2004
Fun! Fun! Fun!

Music that fits me today: Hrm.. Incubus - Stellar ^-^

Napagod ako. >_< Wala naman akong ginawa kundi maupo. Pero bat ganun?? >_<

I woke up at 730.. I was dreaming na kausap ko daw si mahal sa YM and then I think I sort of reminded myself that he won't be OL because he's at work. LOLx! Anyway, he texted me using his master Forfi's phone. Nakakatuwa..napaka-resourceful niya. ^-^

I thought of going shopping today for gifts for shobebe and her siblings. Plus, yun gift pa for mahal. *_* I asked Ku-yamot to come with me to SM Manila. I know how to get there but then mahal says I shouldn't go kung wala akong kasama. Ehhhh. Ewan ko dun. LOLx! Baka feeling nya mabbore lang ako ganun.. May golay. I was a loner once. I've been there and I've done that. And I actually missed it. LOLx! Chaka siguro iniisip niya na hindi ko sha makukulit kasi he's working. Shempre!! Understood na yun noh!! Hindi naman ako magddemand ng whatever dahil he's working. Sana nga hindi sha napagalitan for anything.. Hindi na ako nakapagshopping kasi sabi ni mahal, manood daw ako at mag-enjoy. Eh di..nanood ako. At nag-enjoy nga ako! ^-^

Ragnarok kasi yun event na pinuntahan ng mobile nila today. Ang galing noh!! Biruin mo..Ragnarok!! May golay!! Yun pala yung seminar tungkol sa security sa mga account and prevention ng hacking and stuff. Marami ako natutunan sa lecture nun technician ng LU. At natutuwa ako dahil may sense of humor sha! Sabi niya parang pag wala ka raw firewall, "it's like having casual sex without (may picture ng condoms)". HAHAHA!! Ang kulet noh?? Na-relate pa niya talaga yun technical stuff na yon to real life. ^-^ Natutuwa din ako dun sa Dubbing Contest. ^-^ Ang kukulet ng mga kabataan ngayon!! ^-^ Yun pinakanakakatawa na narinig ko, yun sinabe nung monk kay Roan na yung sword nya +1 lang tapos 1 slot pa. Hahaha!! Napaka-original. ^-^ Yung isa naman, napakamanyakis nun dating nun si Roan nakita na parang nakanight gown si Yuufa or something similar. Wala lang.. Basta.. Masaya! ^-^

Lately..parang wala akong gana kumain. >_< Kaninang breakfast, uminom ako ng Milo at pinilit kumain ng dalawang pandesal. >_< Bat ganun?? Nakakaramdam naman ako ng gutom kaso lang parang ayaw ko sumubo, ayaw ko ngumuya, ayaw ko lumunok. >_< Ngyahaha!! Ang WEIRD. Tapos parang hindi ko na alam kung anong gusto ko mangyari. Parang naging lalo akong indecisive. >_< NGYAHA!! Naalala ko tuloy yun pinaggagagawa ni mahal sa sarili niya. HAHAHA!! Sinasampal yun sarili. Tapos nagpapasapak pa sa kin.. 1 lang daw.. Nabaliw yata lalo. >_<

Ewan ko ba anong nakain ko at gurlaloo ang suot ko ngayon. >_< Inaasar nga ako ni mami. Sabe niya, "Hoy!! Wala ka na yatang inaatupag kundi pagpapaganda ah!?" Ngyahaha!! Wushu!! Pag mukha naman akong lesbo magdamit sasabihin, "Ano ba yang damit mo!! Ang luwag luwag!! Magpalit kaaaa!!" >_< Ang gulo tuloy. Hindi ko na alam minsan kung saan ako lulugar. LOLx! Siguro pag gising ko today, feeling ko mas gurl ako than yesterday kasi yesterday naman naka-rubber shoes ako at loose jeans pero baby tee kaya mejo babae pa naman. ^-^

Speaking of rubber shoes. Parang gusto ko ng Chuck Taylor. Hrm.. Sabe ng PUBES mas maganda daw kung ang bibilhin ko ay red kasi yun daw ang pambabaeng kulay..or mas bagay yata sa babae. Eh kaso..kaya ko ba dalhin yon.. >_< Pulang sneakers.. >_< Pero naisip ko rin, para naman ma-iba at hindi nalang puro baby blue at beige ang mga shoes ko, it-try ko ang red. Kaso parang ang panget kasi barko yung paa ko. >_< Eh parang na-ccute-an lang ako pag suot ng mga babaeng maliliit ang paa ang Chucks at hindi ko pa nakita sa malaki ang paa yon. Ngyaha! Bahala na si Joker.

Tiiin* was starless at 11:02 PM
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Thursday, December 16, 2004
Heaven

Music that fits me today: Incubus - Stellar (It's better than I ever knew..)

I forced myself up this morning. >_< I had to be at school by 10, plus, I was supposed to meet Mahal OL at 730. Soooooooooooo sleepy. /e10 I left home at 9. I couldn't find my rosary in my bag so I had to use my fingers and I kept losing count. >_< It was hella traffic. So when I was done praying.. I SLEPT. HAHAHA!! I arrived in school at 1030. LOLx! Late pero wala pa si ma'am. Swertehhhhhhh. ^-^ I just passed my folder, bid my friends goodbye and told them I was going to see my fafe. Ngyahaha!

I was super hungry when I arrived at Sanshayn's. >_< We ate at Banang's and then went back to Sanshayn's to play. We went to Bulat's then to SM and then went back to Bulat's again. Hahaha.. Ang gulo noh?? Parang wala kaming direksyon. >_< Pinuntahan niya ako uli.. Hahaha!! We can't seem to get enough of each other.. Ayaw ko na nga maligo eh.. Kumapit na kasi sa kin yun smell nya.. *_* Kanina sa shirt lang.. ngayon pati balat ko smell nya na rin.. Hay.. I miss him already.. I miss his hug.. >_<

Yan lang muna.. Bukas na uli kung may maisip pa akong ipost. Wala naman nang mangyayari sa akin na bago tungkol sa school. School's out!! ^-^ Baka puro mahal mahal mahal na lang masabi ko. Hahaha! Baka marindi na kayo. ^-^ Ayyy gagawan ko nga pala sha ng layout para sa blag nya. ^-^ Exciting! ^-^

Tiiin* was starless at 11:10 PM
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Wednesday, December 15, 2004
It's Better than I Ever Knew

Music that fits me today: Incubus - Stellar (Mabuti nalang, maganda ang ihip ng hangin sa Pasay.. ngyahahayyyyyy.. ^-^)

I was with mahal today. ^-^ Hay.. Remember the article I posted about the "Tsinelas"? Here's an excerpt from that..

Sa buhay mo, marami kang makikilalang babae
> at lalake. Maganda, Gwapo,
> Sexy (pang-FHM), Mayaman, Malakas ang
dating,
> Hanep ang porma, lahat
> na. Pero sa bandang huli, pareho nating alam na
> hindi yun ang
> pinakamahalagang ingredient ng tunay na
> pagmamahal. Kumportable ka ba sa taong
> 'to? Does he/she make you feel good about
> yourself? May kakaiba bang
> 'warmth' na ibinibigay ang taong 'to, na parang
> nagsasabi sa'yong 'you're
> home and safe at last'? Does this person make
> you happy? Tinatanggap ka
> ba niya kahit 'pambahay' na lang ang hitsura mo?
> Siya ba ang tipo ng
> taong alam mong makikinig kapag nire-report at
> ikinukwento mo na ang mga
> nangyari sa'yo buong araw?

I think I've found my tsinelas. ^-^ I've never left home without taking a bath. EVER. Kahit emergency pa yan kelangan naka-shower ako. But today, I did just that. He asked me not to take a bath anymore. And just go see him in pambahay clothes. Hay.. The feeling is unexplainable.. It's the BESTEST feeling in the world.. kung meron man ganon.. I love this guy. SOBRA. SOBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! >_<

I thought I had to tell a few people today.. Special rin yung mga taong ito in a way.. And I don't have any idea how to break it to them gently.. Hay.. I told Kurikung first. Mabait yun sa akin. Wala akong masabi.. Pero when it comes to conversations..wala. Nada. I couldn't live with that. I liked his reaction. He had told me that he was happy for me. ^-^ But then..muntik pa kaming mag-away. >_< Lagi naman yata kami nag-aaway non. *To Kurikung* Magpapaalam muna ako sa mahal ko kung pwede, ok? Ayaw ko talagang gumawa ng bagay na I might regret later on. I hope you understand.. thank you! ^-^

I didn't plan on talking to Spark. >_< I don't even have the slightest idea how to tell him. But he called me today. He asked me kung saan ako galing because apparently, he was calling my cellphone but I didn't bring it with me so I missed all his calls. Anyway, his reactions were SUPER violent. Pinagmumura niya ko. >_< Hindi naman ako nag-retaliate.. tahimik lang at nagsorry. Kung ako nasa lugar niya, masasaktan rin naman ako. Wala nga shang right na ganunin ako pero kung yun lang ang makakatulong para mabawasan yun pain na I caused him, ok na lang din. Para naman kaming walang pinagsamahan. 28 months ba yun?? It's not a joke dude. >_<

Nagalit nga si mahal kay Spark.. ngayon ko lang sha "narinig" magmura.. nakakatakot! >_< LOLx! Pero ok lang. Natutuwa akong malaman na mahal niya rin pala ako.. matagal-tagal na. Tinitiis niya lang pala. Ngyahaha!! Nakakataba ng puso. *_* Kumain nga sila dito ng lunch ni ku-yamot. Nilibre kami ni ku-yamot. Ay.. di pa nga pala ako nakakapagpasalamat!! >_< Kaso nga lang.. natatawa ako sa kanya.. Nakatingin lang sha sa akin. Ngyahaha!! Na-aaning yata.. Tapos wala pang gana kumain.. Masama yata epekto ko.. >_<

Nagalit din naman ako. Ngyaha.. Mura pa rin yon noh..!! >_< Pero indi nalang ako nakisabay ng galit. Pag ginawa ko yun, baka sumabog kami ni mahal. Ngyahaha!! Wag na sana yun mangyari uli.. At wala sanang masaktan physically or verbally, kahit sino sa amin.. Because if that happens.. CHAPAKAN NA!! X_x

Nakakainis si Ik. >_< Ang salbahe talaga!! Pinagtiklop ko na nga sha ng damit. Nagreklamo pa!! Nakakainis talaga. Sabi ko nga sa kanya the other day, wag na niya ako ipaglaba kuno. Ako kasi ginagawa niyang tagasampay ng mga damit niya. Eh iniiwanan naman niya lagi yun mga damit ko..inuuna yun kanya. Ang selfish. Kaya ayun. Kanya-kanyang laba na lang. Tama din yun. Para malaman niya na hindi sha sinyorito and I'm not his achay! >_<

Achaket ng ulo ko.. >_< Magkakasakit yata ako.. >_<

December 14, 2004. PARE!! KAMI NA!! KAMI NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (Ngyahaha! Ginaya ko lang yun commercial ng isang cellphone company. ^-^) I don't know how it happened. Pero kami na. LOLx! I love you po! ^-^

Tiiin* was starless at 9:09 PM
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Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Mashado kang Masaya!!

Music that fits me today: Incubus - I Miss You (Ito pa rin. Parang sha. Sha lang. Sha pa rin. At sha na talaga. ^-^)

Ngyaha! Sabi nila masama daw yung mashado kang masaya..kasi daw kapalit non, pwedeng grief, sadness, loneliness..basta kahit anong negative feeling. Right now, I'm thinking, if you're too afraid to be too happy and you're going to force yourself into feeling sad, where's the sense in that?? Won't God want you to be happy?? Wouldn't He be happy when you're happy?? If there's one thing that I'm sure about, it's that God wants us to be happy. Lahat tayo. Whether it's short-term or long-term, basta maramdaman natin yung happiness na yun. And you don't have worry about what you're going to feel tomorrow. Nakasulat nga sa Bible, "Don't worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself" or something similar to that.. LOLx.. I can't remember word for word. Pero basta!! Bahala na si Batman (Ito nga pala ang code name ni God, para sa akin. ^-^).

Hay.. *sings* You do something to me.. That I can't explain.. Bakit ganon? You're dying to see this person after how many days and when you see him, you're too shy to look at him face to face. What's up with that?? T_T Nakakainis nga eh. Para akong nabobobo na ewan.. SP says ang hina ko daw. Lalo na when he saw what I did. Ang sissy ko talaga!! GRRRRR!! I couldn't even say "ingat" to his face. Tapos, I wasn't even able to say "thank you" for the load!! WAAAAAAA!! I already had him for myself for a good 5 mintues?? Tapos wala. WALA!! T_T I even doubt if I can utter his name when he's around. Baka ang lumabas lang non..hangin. Parang fart lang ganon.. Bastaaaaaaaaa!! Nakakainis. T_T Had I known that he was going somewhere far, I would have gone straight home and I would have asked him if I could accompany him, that way, I could be home in time to cook for Amah. T_T Oo na, SP.. Ang hina ko na.. T_T Ok pa rin naman.. ^-^ Think happy thoughts.. He is SUCH a gent!! Gwabeh..super bait.. *_*

Pero today.. my tongue/fingers/brain slipped more than once. Buti nalang si SP ang kausap ko non..when I referred to bossing using a term of endearment. May golay. Tama ba yun..

I shouldn't have gone to school today. We were supposed to have an exam today, remember? Well, we had to wait until around 1130 just to know if it's going to be postponed for next year or not. Hay naketch. Postponed!! From 7am-830, wala yung prof. And then an announcement came that the classes will be cut at 9am and resumed at 1130. Ngek!! Eh di so early in the morning, we're playing billiards already. -_- I won the first game but for the rest of the games, wala na. Bulok. >_<>_< Hay. Good point. I always ditch them after classes when they want to hangout wherever..so I thought..sige na nga. We were supposed to play CS but then they were taking too long in creating a game!! So I thought I'd top up my RO account.. And then *BOO!*, may load ako. May load ako? May load ako?? May loag ako!! Ngyahaha! Nagulat ako at.. *_* 2 lang kaming nakakaalam ng password non.. well..now there's 3 of us, including SP. *_* Kaya..yun! Di na ako nakasali sa CS. LOLx!

And as for my schedule.. on Thursday, I'm going to school to submit this data folder taken from yesterday's experiment. Nagalit pa nga daw si ma'am kasi we we're supposed to submit it yesterday but then the person she asked to collect didn't tell us anything. And we don't even know who that person is! LOLx! On Friday, wala na rin yatang classes. Ngyaha! Ako ay maglalaro ng Ragnarok for this whole week and the week after that and the week following that week..bleah. ^-^

Naisip ko. Napakaiyaken ko talaga. T_T Tuwing naririnig ko ang song ng Incubus na I Miss You at may naaalala, naiiyak ako. Ang babaw ko. Nakakarelate lang talaga ako dun sa kanta.. T_T

PS. Miss ko na agad si bossing.. T_T *Says to herself* Tapos pag nakita mo na naman sha, tameme ka na naman. Wala kang kwenta!! Ang hina moooooooooo!! T_T

Tiiin* was starless at 4:52 PM
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Monday, December 13, 2004
Huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Music that fits me today: Incubus - I Miss You (Ito na. At ito lang talaga.)

I didn't sleep so well. I kept on waking up. Ang lamig kasi! Eh sa likot ko pa matulog..may golay..lagi natatangal yun kumot. >_< Ayan tuloy. Hay.

This morning, instead of watching the news like I always do before going to school, I turned on my PC and listened to Incubus. (Ngyaha! Ilang days na ba ako addicted dito??) Wala na kasing ibang pinapakita sa news kundi si FPJ. -_- I understand na he's super popular and all that, pero naman..how about the more serious stuff that can affect the country??
Birthday nga pala ni Abs ngayon. Ngyaha! I totally forgot! Di bale.. I promised to bring him his gift tomorrow. ^-^

School's super tiring!! Umaga palang.. gwabeh na! We had to perform about 6 tests on more than 10 different substances!! May golay. >_< Ang haba ng experiment na yon, pramis! Buti nalang my lab partner was Venus. ^-^ Hindi nga lang kami ganon ka-close..mas close pa yata kami ng kuya niya kesa kaming dalawa! Ngyaha! We don't have much in common kasi. While her kuya and I, we play Ragnarok, pareho kaming kalog and we just talk more than Ven and I do. LOLx! Anyway, I'm sort of glad that we didn't take our Analytical Chemistry exam today. ^-^ Super duper drained na kami non at baka mangamote na kami dahil sa pagod. -_-
During our Technical Writing class, our prof kept looking at me. Ewan ko dun. Baka natitibo! AHAHAHA!! Nag-feeling!! X_x Pero seryoso na. I was copying from a friend's notebook when she was asking us to give examples of reports. She touched my shoulder and she wanted me to give one. Eh at that time, I wasn't thinking about an example so I wasn't able to give one. Ok lang. Di naman big deal yon. Plus, I became quite active naman during the latter part of the discussion. ^-^

Gwabeh! Ngayon lang uli kami nagkasama-sama lahat ng mga PUBES! ^-^ Na-miss ko silang lahat! ^-^ Kung bakit kasi ni-reshuffle pa kami.. T_T Nakakwentuhan ko naman sila. Pero more of si Bobet lang achaka si Dems. Ang dami na nga agad bago tungkol sa kanila. Ang ingay nga namin paglabas ng gate. Hahaha! Gwabeh talaga.. Namiss ko yung kulitan with all of them, yung asaran, kwentuhan, kalokohan, kabastusan (kailan ba to nawala??), ka-kikay-an (HAHAHA!! Mas babae pa nga sila kesa sa kin!!) at lahat-lahat na. Saya! ^-^ I'm glad I asked Joven to wait for them. ^-^

Inatake ako ng heartburn sa bus pauwi. Achaket!! >_<>_<

My Internet connection sucks BIG TIME!! Disconnect ng disconnect!! >_< I was convincing my cousin to convince my older cousin to switch to DSL and get ourselves a router. The router costs a good 4K+ bucks daw and he says it's expensive. Ehhhh!! 6 naman kami maghahati-hati don. And if we have that router, we wouldn't need the server daw to be turned on all the time. O di wala nang problema. Wala nang tawag tawag kung naka-off. ^-^

My prof says we can wear civilian clothes tomorrow! University party kasi. Hrm.. what to wear, what to wear? Hahaha!! Ang kikay. May golay. >_< Sabi ko nga I'll be wearing my string. AHAHAHAHA!! Hrm..joke yun. Ngyahaha! Nevermind. :P I wonder..pwede kaya mag open-toes?? Kung hindi, hindi lang naman ako makakapasok sa school. Ngyaha! Eh di uuwi!! At babalik nalang para sa mas importanteng class ko. ^-^ May exam yata kami bukas ng hapon. Hindi binawi eh. KJ kasi yun teacher namin, sabe ni Joven. I wonder..matuloy kaya yun?? Di pa ako nag-aaral. Ngyahaha!
May ilang tao na nag-yayaya sa akin lumabas this week. Hrm.. parang ayako. Feeling ko..basta..ang panget pag lumabas ako. Bastahhhhh.. ^-^

Hindi ako maghihintay ngayon, mag-aaral muna aku. Bukas nalang! ^-^ At bukas, I'll top up my RO account! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! ^-^ Ang saya-saya noh?? Sana last day na talaga ng classes tomorrow. Please po, please? ^-^

PS. Miss ko na si bossing!!! T_T

PPS. I change my mind. Bukas na ko ng umaga mag-aaral. Mahapdi na ang mata ko sa antok. >_<

Tiiin* was starless at 10:36 PM
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Sunday, December 12, 2004
It's a Three-Fold Utopian Dream. Yet, I Want it.

Music that fits me today: I Miss You by Incubus (Hay.. ^-^)

May stiff neck yata ako. Achaket. >_< I woke up super early today, at 730, and to think, I slept at 3am! May golay. Na-nightmare kasi ako! Nagpakamatay daw si Hammie! Yung kamay daw niya nilagay niya sa chest nya tapos tumagos!! Patay! X_x Hay. Ok na sana yung dream eh.. Si Santa napanaginipan ko tas sabay ganun.. T_T Hehe! Di bale, mamaya magnanap na lang ako para makabawi. Hm.. nakatulog kaya si Santa kagabi? Sana oo.. ^-^

Kahapon pa kami naglolokohan ni mami. Sabe niya, ayaw daw lumabas yun mens niya. Sabe ko, "Sundut-sundutin mo pwet mo." HAHAHA!! Ewan bat nasabe ko yun. Hahaha!! Natawa lang naman sha at, as usual, minura meh. ^-^ Kanina naman, pinapahiwa niya ako ng kamatis, sibuyas, atbp. Di ko naman natanong kung para saan. Pang-gisa na yun gagawin ko tas sabay sabi niya, "Taduh!! Pang-sigang!! Anong ginagawa mo?!" AHAHAHA!! Tas sabe niya sarap ko daw sampalin. Sabi ko sige try niya pero kelangan mukha niya yun ipapangsampal niya dapat. Wag daw yun. Hindi daw kasi masakit. HAHAHA!! Tapos pinagbibintangan ko sha na umutot kasi 2 lang naman kami dito sa bahay. Sabe nya wag ko daw sha sisihin, "Sundutin kita ng kutchilyong to gusto mo??" Ngyahaha!! Kanina din bigla niya ko tinanong, "Hoy! Anong ningingiti-ngiti mo jan??" Ngyahaha! Bawal pala yun?! Eh masaya ako eh bat ba!! Di ko naman alam na nakangiti ako. Hahaha! Hay. Ang kulet ng mameh ko. Sana ganyan nalang sha lage. At wag mainitin ang ulo. ^-^ At sana, wag na sha tanong ng tanong tungkol kay Spark. Ayako na nga dun!! Kulet. -_-

Kahapon pala galing silang supermarket. Wala daw tao. Nakakapanibago. Sabe ko wala sigurong pera yung mga tao ngayon. Or baka nagtitipid sila for more practical things. Or baka wala pang sweldo. Hehehe! Pero grabeh na talaga dito sa Pinas. Parang walang asenso. Hrm. You can blame it on a lot of things - lack of discipline, corruption, incompetent leaders, lack of obedience and cooperation, selfishness.. and the list goes on. Kailan kaya magkakaroon ng magandang pagbabago? Maging presidente kaya ako ng Pinas?? Ngyaha! Hindi. Gusto ko lang mabago muna yun constitution - yung requirements part. Dapat hindi pwede magtake ng position sa government ang mga hindi nakapagtapos ng mga law-related courses para naman magkaroon ng direksyon ang pagpapalakad sa gobyerno. Chaka dapat lahat ng tao magkaroon ng sense of responsibility para sa kanyang kapwa at bansa. Basta ako, pag may PhD na ako, taga mo sa bato, tutulong muna ako dito sa Pinas. Uunahin ko yung mga na sa malalayong lugar na hindi naaabutan ng medical attention for free! Pero shempre magcclinic din ako sa Manila at huhuthutan ko ang mga mayayaman. NGYAHAHA!! Shempre, sila naman ang may pambayad, eh di sila ang sisingilin ko para may panggastos ako dun sa mga tao sa remote areas. ^-^ Pero habang di pa ako doctor, susunod muna ako sa mga batas at hindi gagawa ng kahit anong illegal. Yun na muna yung tulog ko. Ikaw, anong magagawa mo? ^-^

Pero may balak pa rin ako mag-migrate to Singapore. Ganun pa rin. Si mameh muna uunahin kong ipadala dun. Alam ko naman sabik na sabik na yun makasama ang kanyang beloved sister. At ganun naman din si Ayi Zeny. Sabe niya, mabuti daw kung dun kami magmmigrate, at least magkakaroon na sha ng kamag-anak dun. ^-^ Ewan ko sa kapatid ko atchaka kay Super Kulot kung gusto nila sumama. Kung gusto, e di ipapadala din. Duh buzz?? Basta pramis ko yun kay mami. Pag nagwwork na ako, na sa Singapore na sha, nagpapakasarap at ako ang magffund ng kanyang shopping spree. Ngyahaha! Sa lahat lahat ng ginawa nya para sa akin, sa amin, kay amah at sa lahat lahat lahat talaga, she deserves it. ^-^ Sabi nya nga isulat ko ito sa blog ko para daw pag naulyanin sha, may record na sinabe ko to. Ngyahaha! Kolokoy talaga mameh ko ngayon. ^-^ Saka na ako susunod dun - kung papayag ang magiging asawa ko na magmigrate din dun. At shempre, sasama na rin namin pati yun immediate family niya. Shempre malungkot yun di ba.. kung ilalayo ko sha sa family at mga friends niya. Eh..alanganamang pati friends niya dalhin ko dun. Ngyahaha!! Di ko carry yon. NGYAHAHA!

Ang saya saya ko!! ^-^ Nakausap ko na si Santa kagabi after 2 days!! Gwabeh. Akala ko di na sha dadating eh. Mag-iiyaken na naman ako. NGYAHAHA!! Marami pa namang tuwang-tuwa pag iyaken ako. (Hmm..tamaan na yun tatamaan. NGYAHAHA!! Peace po, peace! ^-^) Hay. Wala namang nagbago, at natutuwa ako. I mean..hindi kami nagkakailangan o ano. Normal lang. Achaka parang mas open na kami about personal things. ^-^ He's the first person who can make me cry and smile at the same time. (In short, BALIW. Hahaha! Joke lang! ^-^) Kasi mejo "napagalitan" niya ako for waiting up for him tapos nakakatulog ako sa class tas sabi niya bat ba raw kasi ako hintay ng hintay eh ang dami pa naman daw kaming time na makakapag-usap. Di ko ma-explain.. Basta masaya!! It's the loveliest feeling in the world. And the grandest gift I can get for Christmas. Advanced pa! ^-^ Hay.. ^-^ Ehhh.. Nag-eenjoy naman ako sa paghintay kahit wala akong ginagawa kasi pag dumating na sha.. sobrang saya!!! ^-^ Hahaha!! Nakakainis..hindi ko madescribe ng eksakto yung feeling. Basta!! Nasabi ko na sa kanya yun feeling na yun. Madaming madaming beses na. Kami nalang nakakaalam non. Ngyahaha!! Chiklet!! Ala clue!! ^-^ Mamaya 1030 matutulog na ako, nagpramis po ako duh buzz? ^-^ Gwabeh.. Would I be out of line if I said, I miss you? ^-^

Tiiin* was starless at 2:43 PM
2 star(s)

Saturday, December 11, 2004
How Do You Do It?

Music that fits me today: I Miss You by Incubus (Still.. and even more than yesterday.)

Allow me to quote lines that I can best relate to..

To know that you feel the same, as I do,
is a three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me
That I can't explain
So would I be out of line, if I said
I miss you.

My left eye hurts.. :-s No..I have not been crying. Ang kati kasi. I just had to scratch it. And no..it's not because I'm overusing my eyes that goes with overusing my comp. Haha! I have been OL only from.. 10am up to now. NGYAHAHA!! More than 5 hours na pala!!

I find myself SUPER weird today. I've actually accomplished my homeworks for monday and Tuesday. Today. On a Saturday. The day when I slack the most. LOLx! Hm.. I'm feeling a bit better today.. Siguro yun yon. At least I know now that Santa's not avoiding me. Hindi lang talaga kami nag-aabot because he's busy working.. giving away presents. ^-^ Ako kaya may present? Hihihi! ^-^ Sana.. Ano nalang.. Chiklet. Ala clue. ^-^

Hrm. I want to start working on our papers already. As of now, we can start yung Analytical Chemistry kasi yun palang yung may topic na. I thought we should divide the work among ourselves so that everyone has something to do. At walang slackers! Phbttt! :p~ Papa-draw lots ko nalang para fair. At walang magiisip na bossy ako. Ngyahaha! Huy. Para sa kanila rin naman yun noh!! Mwehe. Sa Monday ko na yun sasabihin sa kanila. ^-^

My bro's not around. Hihihi! Kanina pang umaga. He's probably at his friend's comp shop where he gets discounts or gets to play for free - I'm not sure. Kagabi inaway niya ako kasi naglalaro ako ng RO pinapaalis nya ako. I told him to wait. Nagalit sha kasi ako na lang daw lagi na sa comp. Hindi naman totoo yon. Ginagamit ko lang naman ito pag iniiwan niyang bakante which means, he's not using it anymore. Hindi na lang ako nagsalita. ^-^ Ang salbahe nya ngayon. Ewan ko ba. Walang epekto retreat sa kanya. Mali lang ng bili si mami ng facial wash niya, nagalit na. Nagalit na rin si mami. Pag nakikipag-usap kasi sha parang kala mo sha tatay namin. -_- Hay naku. Di kasi nila pinapagalitan tapos lagi nilang pinagbibigyan. Mashadong sho-sho. (Erm..sho-sho..parang favorite ganyan..mahal na mahal..spoiled na spoiled..in Chinese.) Fault naman nila yun. Mwehehe! Sisihin ba raw ang mga magulang. >_<

Ohh!! I topped-up my RO account yesterday! ^-^ I thought it could take my head off of other things. Hindi pala. Ngyahaha! ^-^ 50 bucks lang load ko..so 8 hours lang. Hindi naman kasi kaya i-bot yon.. FS kasi. Walang isusupport. At mamamatay lang sa GH. -_- Next week na ako maglload ng 100 ulit! ^-^ Adek adek na ulit! ^-^

Spark was asking me to go out again. Grabeh kulet. I already told him that I didn't want to. Kulit pa rin ng kulit. Last Wednesday, he got mad at me for going to Bulate instead of seeing him. Ngek?! Ngyaha! I can go wherever I wanna go and whenever I want to, dude. He's been asking me if it were possible for us to get back together. Ayako na eh. I have my reasons. I've moved on. ^-^ Natatawa nga ako eh. Ang dami biglang nagtatanong kung bakit yun ang naging bf ko. Ngyaha. Eh. Looks don't matter that much. Mabait naman kasi sha, matalino.. yun. LOLx! Tama na ngaaaaa. Di ko na sha kailangan ipagtanggol. Tapos na ko sa pagtatanggol don. :P~

Sabi nila, "When one door closes, another door opens up. But we often look at the closed door that we don't notice the one opened for us." Hm. Meron naman sigurong bintana. Hindi naman sinabing sarado rin yun. Hihihi! ^-^ Wala lang. Haha! Natutuwa lang ako sa mga quotes ngayon. ^-^

Parang nasasabik na ako ulit mag RO! ^-^ Can't wait for the Christmas break! ^-^

Santaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Dumating ka na.. Please po please? ^-^

Tiiin* was starless at 5:52 PM
0 star(s)

Friday, December 10, 2004
Step Down, Step Down!

Music that fits me today: Incubus - I Miss You

May nakasalubong akong DOM. T*ena. Nanghipo. Hahaha!! Bumaba kasi ako ng bus tapos naglalakad sha pasalubong. Eh hindi huminto sa paglakad. Naapakan ko paa nya so na off-balance ako tas nagsorry pa ko. Kala ko sinasalo lang ako pero hindi eh! Sabay caress amf. HAHAHA!! Hay. God..kelan po ba ako hindi mababastus? Grabe na itu..

Walang prof kaninang 7am. Buti nalang. Late kasi ako. 6 na ko nagising. Lesson learned: huwag papatayin ang alarm hangga't di bumabangon. -_- 830 next class. Pinagtatawanan nila ako kasi nakayuko ako parang nagbabasa ng notes..yun pala..TULOG! HWAHAHAHA!! EHHHHHHH.. Lesson learned: huwag mag-iintay ng ganun ka-late kung may pasok ng 7am kinabukasan. Maaga kami na-dismiss kasi may nagddrums sa quad. Ewan anong college day ngayon. Basta hindi amin. Haha!

Umuwi ako ng 10am. Dapat makakabalik pa ako ng 1pm. Eh.. ewan. LOLx.. Nakakaasar kasi pasukan yun subject na may prof daw pero wala namang dumarating. December na o. Bahala sha sa buhay nya. At bahala rin naman ako sa akin. ^-^ Hm.. ayako dito sa bahay..mag-isa lang ako. LOLx.. Kabaliw. Magliliwaliw muna aketch. Babu! ^-^

Tiiin* was starless at 1:07 PM
0 star(s)

Thursday, December 09, 2004
When It Rains, It Pours

Music that fits me today: Breakdown by Mariah Carey and BTNH]

Last night, I was waiting for Ano to go OL and after a few minutes after he did, GAWD.. NAG-BROWNOUT. Was that a sign of some sort?? I don't remember asking for one. T_T

I totally forgot that I had homework to do yesterday. I only read my photocopy of a friend's cellular biology book. Good thing Marlon asked me about it last night but since there was no electricity, I told myself to wake up early to do it. I couldn't get up. I was SO sleepy. I forced myself anyway. LOLx!

I logged on to the Internet at around 8am. I thought Santa would be OL. I planned to leave him a message if he wasn't. Just to apologize for getting disconnected last night because of the power interruption. Turns out, naunahan na niya ako. Haha! He left me some messages.. And I found myself crying. HAHAHA!! Nung una talaga walang Internet because the server was turned off. I don't know why, but I didn't call my cousin to turn it on like I usually do. And then suddenly, the "network cable is unplugged" icon disappeared so I ran my YM..and voila! It was a bad idea to have gone OL so early..especially when I had to go to school! T_T

I thought I'd be able to go through the day normally. But my girl-friends just HAD to ask why I was looking glum. Hay. Ang hirap rin kasi pigilan. Ang sakit sa ulo. LOLx! Ang daya nga eh. Masakit pag hindi nilabas, masakit pa rin pag nilabas. Mata naman. Haha! Kinakanchawan nga na naman ako ni Abs ng "crybaby". Ok lang. Minsan lang naman sha makakanchaw ng ganun. Hehe! Ok lang ako.. ^-^

Na sa bilyaran na naman kami nung break, as usual. Hindi ako naglaro. Inaantok ako eh. Nanood na lang ako..pero hindi barkada ko pinanood ko! Ngyahaha! May mama kasi dun sa bilyaran..mejo may edad na sha..pero ang galing! Napanood ko na yun makipagpustahan before..WOW! Amazing! Yung mga tira niya sobrang hina lang tapos ang galing mag-placing.. Basta swabe!! Kaka-elib! ^-^ Panalo nga sha kanina eh! Hehehe! Mga pusta niya, crackers, isang litrong Coke chaka yosi. O duh buzz?! Makikipagpustahan lang sha sa bilyaran, may kakainin na sha! ^-^

Kanina sa bus pauwi, yun katabi ko parang mommy na yata..pero mejo bata pa. Eh nahuli yun bus ng MMDA kasi nagpick up sa no loading/unloading zone. Bigla niya ko kinausap tas sabe nya mali naman daw talaga yun driver namin. Tas yun..nun bababa na ako tanong pa nya kung bababa na ko. LOLx.. labo.. Naalala ko tuloy yun dati nakatabi ko sa bus. Nagpakilala pa sha, nagkwento tapos biglang hiningi number ko. Haha.. Hay. LOLx.. Sorry ang tamad ko yata magkwento ngayon.. pero gusto ko magkwento..

Sabe ng prof namin hanggang monday nalang yata ang pasok.. Wee.. ^-^ Magliliwaliw siguro ako hanggang friday kung totoo yun. Saan? Hindi ko alam. Haha.. Or baka dito nalang ako sa bahay.. Bahala na.. ^-^

Bukas nalang ulit.. ^-^

Tiiin* was starless at 9:43 PM
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Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Bitin!

Sounds of Inspiration: Maybe by Sandwich

December na nga talaga. The temperature's down to 20 something degrees celsius, the nights are longer and it's getting harder to get up SO early in the morning. Nakakatamad.

Yesterday, nagulantang ako sa isang tanong ng isang tao na hindi naman malapit sa akin. "Ui, bakit hindi mo sinagot si Pare?" (You do remember Pare, don't you? He's my ex-blockmate and he's best friends with This Guy.) Anyway, he caught me off-guard. I never thought anybody would still remember that. And I never thought that he'd know about it when he was never my blockmate. Hm. Baka nachichismax na naman ako, hindi ko na naman alam. LOLx! I remember earlier this sem, new classmates asked me why Spark and I broke up and about some other guys courting me during that time. Eh ni hindi ko nga sila nakakausap..sabay alam nila yun! LOLx! Iba. Kakaiba.

Speaking about chismax. The other day, I bumped into my ex-blockmate who made chismax about me that a friend and I were together. As in "kami" daw. Eh during that time, I was still with Spark! I shocked myself with my reaction because I actually smiled at her. LOLx! Walang halong kaplastikan. Sabi nga nila, "You can always forgive but you can never forget."

Joven, Abs and I played billiards yesterday. Joven asked me to join para daw konti lang babayaran nila if ever they lose. Hahaha! Salbahe. Anyway, we played a round of "killers" and I think I forgot some rules that's why the game ended too fast, with Joven emerging as the winner. Next game, it was a 1 on 1 on 1 of whatever they call that game. Hahaha! Basta. You have to reach a certain number to win. Kung sa basketball, "21" ang tawag. I won that game. Hahaha! Sabi nga ni Joven kahihiyan daw yun na natalo silang dalawa ng gurlaloo. HAHAHA!! The following games SUCKED. Joven and I were a team and we were up against Abs and Marlon. Abs-olutely amazing kaya yun si Abs!! Eh ito si Joven ayaw umayos! Tinatamad daw maglaro. Talo tuloy kami 3 games. Hay. Pero I understand him naman. He just probably has a lot on his mind. ^-^

I went out today. Ku-yamot asked me to go to Bulate. I obliged because Tabla wasn't there but he'd be there later in the afternoon. I brought chips that required a dip but I couldn't find any dip so we ate it without a dip. Hahaha!! Just playing with the word. ^-^ It was fun. But then, when Tabla came, the teases got worse and bleah. It's ok. Di naman ako pikon. Ang kulit lang. ^-^ I didn't want to go home because I have nothing to do here but I didn't want to stay there because Tabla was there. -_- I went to see where Ku-yamot works part-time. They call the place "Sunshine". Hahaha! Mga codename ng mga yon talaga. Kakaiba! Ang init dun! Sumabay ako kay Ahiya and I thought about going home na but I thought I'd drop by sa church muna. I stayed at their shop for a few minutes before going to church. And darn it, the church was closed. LOLx! Baka nagalit si mama..di ko sha inuna.. Sowee po.. :-s

Super Kulot's car was parked outside when I got home. Ngyahaha! I thought I was screwed. But then, I remembered those other days when things were hard between us - he doesn't utter a word to me during these times. Good enough! ^-^ He went "in-hiding" when he saw me. Hahaha! Dapat lang yun. Mahiya sha sa ginagawa niya. Alam naman niya na mali sha. Sana lang, may ginagawa sha para itama yon. Hm.. GUD LAK!! NGYAHAHAHA! ^-^

Two more days of going to school this week. Last two pala. Thinking positively. ^-^ Next week would be irregular classes na because of the Christmas parties and stuff. Saya! ^-^ Buti nalang bukas 10am pa class ko. ^-^ 3 hours break naman.. :-s Hayyy.. Ok lang.. 4pm tapos na at 5pm bahay na namannnnn!! WEEEEEE!! ^-^ Wish ko lang wala nang traffic dito sa may San Juan..

Oo nga pala!! Bamboo and Sugarfree are having a concert at PLM, Intramuros on December 17. It's next friday na! Tickets are sold at Php150 each. You may reach me through 0927-6453877 to acquire tickets or you can go get them yourselves at PLM. ^-^ I think the proceeds will go to charity or something..so please help! ^-^

Tiiin* was starless at 6:32 PM
0 star(s)

Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Happy! Sha La La La!

Sounds of Inspiration: Slipknot - Wait and Bleed

I'm feeling a HELL lot better now! ^-^ It works out just fine when Super Kulot and I are not in speaking terms. Plus, there is no significant difference between talking to him and not talking to him. ^-^

Hrm.. I think I'm going to be sick though. I feel cold.

School was fine. I was late for my 7am class. LOLx! For about 10 minutes lang so it wasn't too embarassing to enter the classroom. I said "Sorry, I'm late." just as I always do back when I was in ICA. Hay naku. Wala naman ginawa. Naglaro lang kuno. Corny game lang. A game Boy Abunda would surely enjoy kasi it's about telling the truth bla bla. For the next classes, the minutes draggggggggged. As in. Hahaha! Daming tanong ng tanong kung what time na! Mahirap kasi pag mahirap na yun subject tapos prof mo nakakaantok. Sabi nga niya, before the vacation, we're gonna have our long exams na. -_-

Tama hula ko!! Next week would be the last week of school na!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ^-^

I met Joven before I got to class. He was on his was down. I asked him if the prof was there already and he said yes. When I asked him where he was going, he said "faculty room". I thought he was requested to get something from the faculty room but turns out, he was really sent out, just as the prof said she would during our last meeting. I find what she did "foul". So what kung mukhang inaantok si Joven during her class. I look sleepy, my seatmate looks sleepy, a lot of other people look sleepy, bakit sha lang pinansin? Personal ek ek na siguro yun. Either may HD sha kay Joven or may HG. Hidded Desire or Hidden Galit. Wala lang. Naaasar lang ako. Pero hindi yun porket friend ko si Joven. Pangit lang talaga tignan. Napakahalata. Tsk tsk.

May sugat ako hindi ko alam kung saan galing. LOLx! Nu buzz. Ehwan ko ba. Baka nakamot ko? Hm..

Super traffic kanina pag lagpas ng SM Sta Mesa. Grabe. I should have been home by 430 or something. Anyway, I texted Siops asking him if he was at Bulate but he wasn't replying. I decided to call him, miss call lang, but the operator said that it was out of the coverage area or something. So I told myself I'd drop by 7 11 and check if they sell Cornetto. If they do, and they have the Cookies and Cream flavor, I'll buy it and take it to him. Gawd. Nanlalamig ako non. Ewan ko ba. Parang natrauma yata ako pag punta dun. Kaya pag dating ko, hinanap ko lang si Siops tapos inabot ko na. Alis na sana ako but then yun ibang tao started talking to me. So parang naisip ko, "Ok lang naman. Walang mangrereject sa iyo. Chaka sandali ka lang naman." So there, I stayed for 10 minutes or so and left to cook my amah's food.

Tomorrow's mama Mary's birthday!! ^-^ I'm thinking about going to mass but I have NO idea what time may mass pag weekday. If ever wala akong abutang mass, I'd probably pray the rosary na lang doon. Birthday gift ko na yun. ^-^ Hm.. bibili pa ba akong flowers?

I want to join the volunteers over at the calamity areas. Wala lang. I have no other way to help kasi. Wala naman akong iddonate..puro old clothes lang. My dad says he's donating new shirts and stuff. Eh until now, the shirts are still stuck here. Hay naku. "Aanohin pa ang damo, kung patay na ang kabayo?"

I am suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper happy. ^-^ Ano just completes my day. Hahaha! Complete daw. There wasn't an hour na he wasn't on my mind. Hahaha! Oo na, corny na. Eh.. ganun eh.. Basta.. Masaya. Masayang masaya! ^-^

Tiiin* was starless at 10:04 PM
0 star(s)

Monday, December 06, 2004
Dami pa palang Pahabol

Sounds of Inspiration: Bamboo - Mr. Clay

Dumagdag pa pala ng mga paper na gagawin. Bale..4 na lahat lahat.
1 - Bioresearch
2 - Ana Chem
3 - Tech Writing
4 - Tech Writing (by group)
Sana bago mag Christmas vacation, may topic na para sa lahat na yan, para makapagsimula na ako. Pati yung by group. Ngyahaha!! Kelan ba naging by friends ang grouping na gumawa ang mga friends ko?? LOLx Pero indi. Tumutulong naman sila. Sasabihin mo nga lang kung anong gusto mong mangyari. Buti naalala ko maghahanap nga pala ako ng mga posibleng topic. ^-^

Gusto ko sana subukang magsimbang gabi. Hindi naman dahil dun sa wish pag nakumpleto mo. Matagal tagal na rin akong hindi pumapasok ng simbahan. Naaasiwa kasi ako sa mga taong kilala ko na nakakasabay ko na pag na sa simbahan akala mo kung sinong anghel tapos paguwi umaapoy ng mura at kung anu-ano pang kasamaan ang bibig. Balik tayo sa simbang gabi. Mukha namang hindi na naman ako papayagan as usual. Mainit pa mukha ko dito. Sabe ng barkada ko, either gabi daw or madaling-araw ang simba. Hm.. Maaga naman pasok ko kaya 5 ako gumigising. Pwede naman siguro ako gumising ng mas maaga para makapagsimba. Takas nga lang? Simba nga, takas naman. Ehwan. Bahala na.

Ayoko nga sanang umuwi. Kung di ko lang kailangan magluto para sa lola ko, di ako uuwi. Iniisip ko na lang na sha nalang may kailangan sa kin kaya pa ko nabubuhay. Di ba ganon daw yun? Mabubuhay ka hanggang ma-serve mo yung purpose mo. Pag tapos na, tapos ka na rin.

Gusto ko mag-disappear sandali. May maghanap kaya sa kin? Hm..

Gusto ko na bumukod. Sana matapos ko na tong college na to. Pag-grad ko, bubukod na ko. Tapos ako nalang magssupport sa aral ko. Pwede naman ako magpart-time job. Mura lang naman tuition fee ng med sa PLM - Php13,000 lang. Kaya ko yon. Hrm. Ehwan. Baka nasasabi ko lang to. Kasi siguro galit ako o ano. Ngyaha. Di ko alam kung ano nararamdaman ko. Kabaliw! ^-^

Nasasabi ko lang to. Hindi ko rin naman kaya kasi baka anu mangyari kay mama. High blood pa naman yun. Baka mag-alala sha pag nawala ako. Mahuli nga lang ako ng uwi ng almost 1 hour, todo tawag na yan sa cellphone eh. Achaka pano na si amah? Sino na magluluto ng pagkain niya pag wala ako? Sino na magoosterize ng pagkain nya kung wala ako?

Naiinis ako sa mga taong may pafriends friends pa muna kuno tapos biglang gusto manligaw tapos hindi naman pala talaga interesado sa iyo. As in sa IYO mismo. Kung sino ka, ano ka. Iba pala gusto makuha sa iyo.

Nakakalungkot. Anu-ano na naman kasi kinwento sa kin nito ni Ahiya. Pero.. sabi ko nga di ba.. Kung may gusto nang iba si Ano, ok lang. Kung san sha masaya, suportahan taka. I'll be just fine. No worries.. ^-^

Siguro iniisip niyo "anu-ano naiisip nito ni tin". Marami pa kayong hindi alam. Akala niyo lang sobrang OK ako kasi lagi lang ako tawa ng tawa, kwento ng kwento, puro kalokohan, bla bla. Gusto ko lang maging masaya. Lahat naman ng tao may kanya-kanyang problema di ba? Lahat din gusto maging masaya kahit papano. Sabi nga ni Plato, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ^-^

Iniisip ko.. sa Christmas, baka ipangregalo ko Tiramisu. Mura lang pero galing sa imbutidohan ng aking puso. Erm.. ibuturan? Kaibuturan? Kaimbuturan? Eh. Basta from the depths of my dying heart. Pero di pa naman sure yon. Bahala na.

Gusto kong pumunta sa ICA para bisitahin si Huang Lao Shi (Chinese teacher ko) nung grade 7 yata yon. Mabait sha sa akin. Yun lang yata ang Chinese teacher ko na hindi ako pinaiyak. Haha. Pero sinumbong ako kay mami non kasi daw nahahawa ako sa kadaldalan ng mga seatmate ko. Haha! Pero ok lang. Alam ko naman na para sa ikabubuti ng grades ko yon. Miss ko na sha. Sana andun pa sha pag visit ko. ^-^

PS. Ang haba na naman nito. Ewan ko ba. Matagal tagal na rin kasi ako hindi nagsasalita dito sa bahay o nakikiapagkwentuhan sa kung kanino. Dito lang naman talaga ako naglalabas ng lahat lahat. Kaya..pasensya na kung mahaba.. haha.. Wag niyo na lang basahin. Nakakatamad naman talaga. Haha! ^-^

PPS. Oo nga pala. Amah ang tawag namin sa lola. Chinese word for "lola" ay "amah". ^-^

Tiiin* was starless at 7:22 PM
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Kwentong Barbero

Sounds of Inspiration: Bamboo - Mr. Clay

Oi! Buhay pa 'ko!! Ngyahaha!

Grabe kagabi. 1030 umakyat na ko sa kwarto. 1130 na di pa ko tulog. -_- Ewan ko ba. Baka kasi may kulang sa araw ko. Hehe! Ay!! Pag-uwi ko pala, ang saya saya kO! May nabasa kasi ako.. Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.. :x Sobrang kilig! :D Baka yun yung dahilan kung bakit di ako makatulog kagabi. Ngyahaha!! CORNY. :P Kahit na. Kilig pa rin. ^-^ Sana makausap ko sha ngayon. Hindi ko natanong kung ano meron sa kanya sa week na to eh. Kaya di ko alam kung may work sha ngayon sa labas. Sana nalang, maaga sha makauwi, kasi bukas 7am na naman ang pasok ko kaya maaga ako ulit matutulog kung maaga ako makakatulog. ^-^

Pag pasok ko sa school, ang unang bumulaga sa akin ay "HOY! IKAW! Wala ka sa party kO!" Ngyahaha! Pinagtanggol naman ako ng friends ko. "Andun kaya sha. Hindi lang lumabas sa bulsa ni Arnel." Ngyaha! Ang sagot ko jan ito: "Kelan ba ko pinayagan?!" Alam naman na nila yun. Pero kada may magbbirthday, invite pa rin sila ng invite sa kin. Gusto kong isipin na nagbabakasakali lang sila na makasama ako. Nakakataba ng puso. ^-^ Pero ok naman kami. Di naman sha galit. Sabi lang nila sayang di ako nakapunta kasi masaya. Sayang. Pero..ganun eh. Sadyang ganun lang talaga. ^-^

Ok naman sa school. Hindi gaano nakakapagod sa lab. Sinuggest ko kasi sa leader namin na i-divide namin yung work para mapabilis. Kaya ayun. Tapos kami bago mag 10 o'clock kaya.. chibugan na! ^-^ Sa lecture, may natutunan naman ako. Nakakasunod rin kasi nabasa ko na yung topic na yon nung mga araw na walang pasok. Sa Bioresearch naman, ang hirap talaga makinig sa subject na yun. Ang pangit kasi ng classroom. Pang-laboratory purposes talaga kasi yung room. May aircon nga, hindi mo naman makita yun professor at yung whiteboard dahil may design yung mga mesa na pataas na shelf na ewan. Di na rin masama kasi tatayo ka pa minsan minsan para silipin yun board, magigising ka rin. Haha! Yung teacher ko naman sa Tech Wrting nakakabaliw mag-inglis. Suko tenga ko dun. Hindi ko naman sinasabi na perfect ako mag-english.. pero kahit grade 1 alam kng kelan gagamitin ang "will" at alam na hindi ito dapat dinudugtong sa "going" para maging "will going". -_-

Nakasakay kami sa jeep papuntang Lawton - dito kami sumasakay ni Joven pauwi. Pero sha sa loob, ako sa labas lang. May nakita akong cute sa kabilang jeep. Cute talaga, as in, tapos ang linis tignan. May hawig nga kay Ano. Kaso nga lang mukhang jip jop yung porma. May pwet pa ng baso na nakapasak sa magkabilang tenga. Ang laki nga eh. Mas malaki pa sa suot ko. Pero basta. Kahawig talaga. Pero shempre mas wafu pa rin si Ano don. Hay.. :x

Ang daming nangulit sa akin ngayon. Ang dami rin tuloy pumiga ng kanang kamay ko. Ang sakit! T_T Mejo sanay na yun mga kaibigan ko pag nakikita na sugat sugat ang kamay ko. Kaya ang tanong nila agad "Bakit?" Alam na. Hay. Ewan kung kelan matatanggal to. Nahihiya nga ako eh.. pag tinititigan ng mga taong di ko naman kilala.. Siguro iniisip nila.."Baliw siguro tong babaeng to.."

Sinisikmura ako bago umuwi. Di naman ako nagpalipas ng gutom. Hrm. Yung heartburn siguro yon. Na-aggravate dahil uminom na naman ako ng Pepsi kanina. Hindi ko kasi nasabi na hindi muna ko iinom uli ng soft drinks. :-S

Habang nakasakay ako sa bus, gusto kong sigawan yung mga taong nakakalogkalog habang nakatayo ng "HUMAWAK KA KASI!!!" Asa ka pang hindi kulafu yun driver. Eh 2 times na nga kami muntik bumangga. Ni hindi nga tinatabi yun bus pag may sasakay o bababa. ASA. Yung katabi ko sa bus na babae, inirapan pa ako. Di niya alam nakita ko sha dun sa salamin. Siguro iniisip niya, "Ang laki naman ng pwet ng babaeng to! Wala na kong maupuan eh!" Ngyahaha! Wish nya lang malaki pwet ko. Eh wala ako non. Kasalanan ko ba kung dumudulas pwet ko sa silya?? Di ko naman kaya yun sinasadya. Phbbbt!!

Nung pagbaba ko sa San Juan, inisip ko kung dadaan ba ko sa Bulate para ibigay yun utang kong Cornetto kay Siops. Eh naisip ko, wala na yata akong pera, pano pa ko bibili non?? LOLx! Nagpaphotocopy kasi ako ng kelangan ko pang-homework eh dinamay ko na rin mga kaibigan ko. Tapos lumalabas Php1.something lang kada kopya. Kaya yun. di ko na siningil. Tapos wala akong dalang extrang pera. Basta. Bukas na..3pm naman tapos na classes ko.. Ngyaha.. Sana lang wag ako tamarin.. hehe

Nung naglalakad naman na ako pauwi, meron ba namang nagpaputok ng 5-star sa sidewalk?! SIDEWALK ha! Daanan ng tao yun!! Gagu ba sila?! Eksakto nga pagdaan ko sa harap nila, naghagis pa sila uli eh!! Mga 3-4 feet away from me (dahil hindi ako sa sidewalk naglalakad). LOL! Pag putok nga, nakalagpas na ko, tinignan ko pa sila pabalik. (O ha! San ka pa?! Kala mo ang tapang eh. LOLx) I gave them my bitchy-est look. Hell. Gusto ko ngang ngaratan eh!! Nakatingin pa nga sa akin yung mga kasama nung naghahagis. Puro tattoo yun katawan. Eh ano naman?! Do they wanna see mah kung-fu?! Ngyaha. Seryoso na. Na sa tamang pagiisip ba mga taong ganon?! May kasabay kaya akong maliit na bata na naglalakad din!! Pano kung tamaan yon?! Sagot ba nila future nun pag naputulan yun ng kung ano sa katawan?? Sagot ba nila gastos nun sa ospital?? Mga kulafu amp. Kaya di umaasenso Pinoy eh. Dahil sa mga taong balasubas katulad nila.

Tiiin* was starless at 5:31 PM
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Sunday, December 05, 2004

My eyes hurt so bad. My knuckles are swollen. I've never felt so low in my entire life. And of course, there's only one person who can make me feel that way - Super Kulot. Grabe. I'm gonna be so screwed if my mum sees one side of my wall. Tumagos! I wasn't expecting that it would.. As in nasira talaga yun parang designed kahoy against the wall. It looks like the "rock on" sign nga eh.. somewhat like this --> \m/, Another side of my wall has marks lang. Buti na lang I didn't break it as well. I realized, it takes more shots this time before I calm down. Before, it would take only 2 or 3. Ngayon, I had to make 7! 7!! Putek. Durog. Ang hirap mag type, ang hirap magsulat dahil wala akong grip. But I'm not regretting hitting walls again. At least hindi si Super Kulot at kung sino pang Pontio Pilato ang sinapak ko. Walang nasaktang iba kundi sarili ko lang. Solve na rin.

My cellphone has become useless these days. Nobody's texting me. And I'm not texting anybody. Buti na rin yon. Tipid.

Tomorrow's the killer loaded day. 7am-4pm. I hope I get through it. At least I'm using my Teddy bag starting tomorrow. May bag na ako, may kayakap pa kong malambot! Good enough for me..

Buti nakagamit pa ko ng computer. Akala ko hindi na ako makakagamit eh.. Sayang nga lang. I thought Ano would be OL. May ibboost lang ako sandali gamit ibang account sa Odin yata.. Sana maabutan ko pa sha.. Gawd.. I need a hug so bad.

Tiiin* was starless at 9:12 PM
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I Saw This Coming

Computer. I told you!! I told you mag-aagawan kami. Ito pang katapid kong ito?? The type of person who won't listen to reason unless it comes from himself. The type of person who's SO self-centered and thinks that he's the one who should be followed at ALL times. Bago sha umakyat sa room, sabi niya "Pag baba ko, ako na jan sa computer ah!" It sends shots up my bitchy nerves and I wanna strangle him or cover his mouth with my dad's stinking socks!!! RAR. Nakakainis!! Does he think this thing is easy?? Ilang days na ko nag-iisip ng thesis topics noh!! (I don't seem like I am though.. but I AM!!) Eh ano lang naman gagawin niya dito sa computer na ito?! Mag-NBA at walang-katapusang ginagawang swapang si Garnett at mag-shopping sa Ragnarok. Burahin ko yang bot na yan eh!!! Tignan ko kng may pera pa sha pang shopping!! GRR!!! Nakakainis talaga!!!

Ano. Hay. Last night, a friend told me to leave him an offline message para malaman niya na I've been waiting for him. LeS and I debated about it for a good 10 minutes and we decided that I should leave him a message. It all depended on what I want to happen next. And that's the problem. I wasn't sure what I want to happen next! She had said that if I DO leave him a message, the question "why were you waiting for me?" will arise. I kind of had a good answer for that: "gusto lang kita makausap." Good enough. Safe pa rin. 11:30pm came and I.. changed my mind. LOLx.. I couldn't possibly leave him a message. I was TOO scared to. I was too afraid of rejection. Hrm. Still am. I have yet to talk to my good-friend-slash-kuya about this.

Stressful. This thesis topics thing is getting all too stressful!! I have a lot of ideas but the problem is I don't know what species to study about. Hay nako. Bahala na. Nakakapikon pa dito. Walang kwentaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Tiiin* was starless at 1:28 PM
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Name: Tiiin
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1. White or cream or beige belt with garrison buckle.
2. Thigh-length tops.
3. More stiletto shoes.
4. Happy Feet sandals.

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I was not aware that this OLD blog is still gettin...
I'm Gone, I'm Gone
Not Too Late
Love Someone You'd Give an Arm For
Yes I Feel Torn
And When I'm Gone, Don't Mourn
And I'll Remember
I'm Back to Kick A55
Ride a Wild Horse
Luxurious

Allain
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Elaine
Glenn
Jennifer
Joven
Julius
Marlon
Merrie
MikMik
Nina
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Robert