Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Early Morning
GAWD. We all came in late for work except for Kepo and then there's the accountant from somewhere using this computer for calculating GST shit. Even before I lay my ass on wherever in this God-forsaken place, I am bombarded with reports about errors that only
I am capable of committing. (At least that's how Kepo's making me feel!! Fawked up!! GRR!!) To tell you honestly,
I am no robot,
I am merely human and
I may make mistakes that may either be
caused upon
me by some other
outside force or be caused by
me alone.
Are you getting
my point?!
Doesn't anybody here know that this fawking AccPro program is, number 1, not made by fawking pro's for use of fawking accounting pro's?!; number 2, the GST can actually be set using the
Masters control; number 3, the fawking program is full of fawking
BUGS. Simply put, the fawking errors are
not entirely my fawking fault. Capisce?! Fawkness.
Plus, if somebody made a mistake must you
rub it in so hard?! GEEZ!! How would
YOU feel if I told the entire world that you're wearing your undies the inside-out?! And must you
always be
SO KEPO?! GAWD!! Lay off, dude!! You wanna know everything?! I'm wearing a Sloggi underwear, it's peach and the garters are killing my a55. Is that info enough?! Or must you
also know if I'm having discharge or not?! The point is, there is no competition here.
I am not competing with anybody but
myself. I admit when I know that
I am at fault. But GAWD. I
really don't need anybody to tell the whole world about my mistake.
I am
embarrassed enough to
myself that I committed an error.
And lastly, I'd like to point out that
YOU are not
PERFECT and neither am
I. Period.
Early in the morning!! GEEZ!!
I can't even feel any excitement towards going shopping later this afternoon!! I even feel constipated!! GRR!!
Speaking of imperfection, last Saturday
we (yes, I put emphasis on WE because I 'directed' my cousins what to do next), made tiramisu. I believe that THAT is the most awful tiramisu I have done in my entire life. Really. I gave away tiramisu for Christmas and I must say, a lot of people enjoyed it. But this tiramisu is SOUR. How is that possible?! I don't know what went wrong. I guess sometimes the more we're afraid to commit an error, the more we actually commit it. The many ironies of life.
I'm trying to study Pin Yin. I cannot possibly use the age-old 'Bopomofo' to write Chinese characters on today's computer. Plus, I'm really beginning to hate myself for not learning enough conversational Chinese. I'll blame it on ICA. Partially. LOL. Fawk it.
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Monday, May 30, 2005
Black's and White's
This morning, Ai made me realize that I have only a few days left before I'm going back to the Phils. I decided to write 'miss lists' for this forthcoming 'occasion'.
Things I won't Miss when I leave Spore.1. The endless chattering of Homer, which is usually just brags about his accomplishments and lame reasons for his failures.
2. The heat. OMIGOD, THE HEAT. I think it's hotter here than in the Phils.
3. The smell of sweat caused by the Sporean sun (you know what I mean).
4. The awful smell of I-don't-know-what-race-is-that.. Is it Indian? Malay? Whatever.
5. All other bad memories that incurred and occurred.
6. CHILLI.
Things I don't Miss when I left Phils.1. The endless and awful and false rumors spreading about my family, by MY OWN relatives, back at the compound.
2. The people at the compound, except my immediate family.
3. School. Blehk!
Things I'll Miss when I leave Spore.1. My girl cousins who are like the sisters I'd never have but wish I did. You can tell them anything and they'll just listen and it feels nice. Especially when I'm crying my heart out, which I've done twice since I got here because of VERY APPARENT reasons.
2. My guy cousin. Ok, sometimes he talks too much and I can't listen because I'm reading. But other times, he's actually quite nice. I actually noticed he wants to get some affection from a girl. Like any girl would do. For example, when I'm lying flat on my belly, engrossed in a book, he'd rest his head on my back or something. (Ok, LeS, no weird thoughts. LOL.)
3. My Ai's Chicken Curry! ^_^
4. Talks with my Itiu about the economies of countries he's gone to. I've never met anyone who's actually made me care about the condition of my country. LOL.
Things I Miss when I left Phils. (And glad I'm coming back to it.)1. My family. @_@ My MUM most especially. Can you believe I actually miss my mum and I'm sure when I'm back staying with her, it won't feel the same. LOL.
2. My huge bed and my 3 fat pillows and my cuddly blankie. My room. I mean, our room since I'm sharing it with my bro.
3. Rio. My ever-so-reliable laptop, which I love oh-so-very-much. And, of course, the many wonderful programs it has.
4. My friends. ^_^
5. MF. *_*
I was alone again last night. :( Achie had to go to work. I found it freaky because I was talking to myself. LOL. OMIGOD. I must be the gurl everyone warned you about. Whatever. I was trying to fix myself - my relationships, my thoughts. I was having trouble about what I really want - to do with MF, mostly. And then I realize (just now, actually), that the best possible reason (which I choose to believe, of course) for my parents to not want me to have a boyfriend per se, is because they're scared that I might end up creating my own family even before I graduate. But you see, that isn't my plan at all. I have a LOT of dreams. I have a LOT that I want to do before I leave the world of single-hood. And as much as I can avoid it, I want nothing to do with motherhood, although, I'd enjoy trying to be a good wifey, preferably to a good hubby. But really, motherhood can be avoided. I can prove it.
Back to MF. We were having really HUGE problems and all of a sudden, I don't feel like I really know him. I mean, I kind of know him. But not..I don't know. I'm SUPER confused. I thought that maybe I could write one of those online tests that he can take and vice versa and then we can see if we know each other at all. And then we can work on what we don't know about each other and then our relationship could be a a LOT better and then maybe things can go VERY well this time. Yes..I never took it off. The earring. I didn't want to look into the mirror just so I won't touch it and be tempted to remove it. LOL. Weird chit.
Anyway, I finished two books during the weekend. Finally, the Shopaholic series is over and done with. LOL. It's not that I didn't enjoy it. In fact, I enjoyed it IMMENSELY. But then, I kind of got stuck with the last book,
Shopaholic and Sister, after reading 1/3 of it. But then, the story suddenly stopped being draggy and something was actually beginning to happen so I just swooped in and finished it. LOL. It was good. Really. You should read the whole thing. Whatever. Yesterday, I read the most unique book I've ever read -
The Boy Next Door by Meggin Cabot. It was a story built from a bunch of e-mails. It was really creative! So there, those are the books that I recommend. Right now, I'm reading
Once Upon a Blind Date by Markham. Ok, I can't remember the first name of the author. LOL. I never remember authors and titles anyway. X_X
Anwyay, my bro's off to HK today. LOL. My mum called earlier and then I asked her if she's sad because her kids are all overseas. She said 'Hindi noh!' And then I said, 'Ay oo nga pala, masaya ka wala mga anak mo. WAHAHA!' And then she was laughing along. It's the first time my bro and I are away from mummy at the same time. Maybe she'd be sad in a few more days. Or maybe she'd enjoy the freedom. Or maybe she'd learn to not send us overseas simultaneously again. Ever.
Off to lunch. Tata!
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Saturday, May 28, 2005
Thy Will be Done
Currently singing to: Splender - I Think God can Explain
There's a lot of things I understand
And there's a lot of things that
I don't want to know
But you're the only face I recognize
It's so damn sweet of you
to look me in the eyes
The scent of vasoline
in the summertime
The feel of an icecube
Melting overtime
The world seems bigger
Than both of us
Yet it seems so small
when I begin to cry
It's alright I'm O.K.
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright I'm O.K.
I think God can explain
I'm relieved I'm relaxed
I'll get over it yet.
I'm so much better than you guessed
I'm so much bigger than you guessed
I'm so much brighter than you guessed
And the verdict? None yet. The jury has not decided.
The song isn't meant for anything or anybody. I just thought it was nice and appropriate for my mood. I think God can explain why.
I woke up this morning and I thought that my world shouldn't stop turning. A part of me wants to continue hoping that everything will turn out ok but a part of me wants to wake up from this nightmare and move on. I guess that's just the coward in me. I'm too afraid to get hurt again. Why must pain always haunt me? But heck. I feel incomplete. I feel sick. I feel broken. I feel empty.
I'll probably sleep the day away. Or if Ai wants to go shopping later in the afternoon, I should go. I SHOULD go so I can buy all the stuff Aik wants already. Oh whatever.
Have a good weekend.
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Friday, May 27, 2005
The Only Thing that Binds Us
Currently listening to: Seether - Broken
i wanted you to know i love the way you laugh
i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
i keep your photograph i know it serves me well
i wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'cause i'm broken when i'm open
and i don't feel like i am strong enough
'cause i'm broken when i'm lonesome
and i don't feel light when you're gone away
the worst is over now and we can breathe again
i wanna hold u high and steal your pain
there's so much left to learn & no one left to fight
i wanna hold u high & steal ur pain
'cause im broken when im open
and i dont feel like i am strong enough 'cause im broken when im lonesome
and i dont feel right when you're gone away 'cause im broken when im open
and i dont feel like i am strong enough
'cause im broken when im lonesome
and i dont feel light when you're gone away
Once.
Twice.
Will there be a third time?
Here's an excerpt from your post..
Spend time apart, but dont get so into the arguement to say its over. Thats letting it all go too easily. Hang on. Remember: if 2 people are needed to argue, 2 people are needed to apologize.
But what just happened?
When I remove this earring from my necklace, it means I accept.
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Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Some Sugar, Spice and Something Nice
Gawd the weather's SO nice it makes me feel like dozing my head off. LOL! I thought of getting up from bed to tell my Ai that I won't be working today. Wahaha! But my head bested my body that's why I'm sitting here on my throne..working. Riiight. LOL. Ok, so I'm NOT working. Work here gets lesser by the day, which I think is GREAT. More time for surfing the Internet and chatting and doing whatever! ^_^
I didn't wake Achi up. She didn't set her alarm clock to ring at around 7am so I presumed she's not coming to work. Her laptop's finally working fine again. She reformatted the thing. I was thinking about using Repair Windows instead so that she can keep all her file settings. But she says repairing it might not help completely that's why she resorted to reformat. It was her call anyway. It's just good that it's back to normal.
I was watching the rain fall to the ground while I was having breakfast. And then I thought, the rain symbolizes weakness as well as strength. Weakness because as it hits the ground, it makes a tiny splash and then it settles on the ground. Strength because if it rains too hard it can cause destruction and sometimes when raindrops fall on your head or on your skin, they actually hurt quite a bit. Plus, they can make large ripples at times. Whatever.
Ai and Auntie Mel we're talking about dogs a while back. I asked them the question that's been bothering me: if dogs are animals and they're loyal to their masters, why can't humans, higher animals, be just as loyal? Ai answered my question. It was because of the mere fact that we ARE higher animals. We are capable of thinking - that we can surpass others, that we don't have to succumb to masters, that we can be our OWN masters. "If given the choice, would you want to be a dog or a human being?" I needn't think twice, "I'd rather be a dog."
Tomorrow's the 26th. My VISA's expiry date. Ai and I will go to the immigration place to have it extended. I'd probably be given 2 weeks at most, which means I'd be coming home earlier than the 10th of June. Goody-goody. LOL. We're also taking Lilo to the vet to have her stitches removed. And then we gonna go shoppin'! WOOT! LOL. I decided to ask Ai out so she can relax and have fun on a weekday, which she doesn't get to do much. I hope we have FUN!! ^_^
Hmm. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm too sensitive. I just feel as if I'm no longer wanted. Like I was EVER wanted in the first place. LOL!
I enjoyed pouring my heart out to MF yesterday. I like the feeling it gives me. It's like I'm his big baby. LOL. I can't explain. Uhm. It's like when you're trying to hush a baby from crying. You carry it and hold it close to you. I love that feeling.. And I would LOVE to be baby-ed in the same way. If MF can carry me, that is. LOL. I wish we could be that way everyday.. But every day is a different day.. Oh well..
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Tuesday, May 24, 2005
I Wish
change
n.
The act, process, or result of altering or modifying: a change in facial expression.
The replacing of one thing for another; substitution: a change of atmosphere; a change of ownership.
A transformation or transition from one state, condition, or phase to another: the change of seasons.
Something different; variety: ate early for a change.
A different or fresh set of clothing.
Money of smaller denomination given or received in exchange for money of higher denomination.
The balance of money returned when an amount given is more than what is due.
Coins: had change jingling in his pocket.
Music.
A pattern or order in which bells are rung.
In jazz, a change of harmony; a modulation.
A market or exchange where business is transacted.
This is by far the biggest mistake of my entire life. While I always say 'No regrets.' I can't say it now. Not anymore.
I'm glad MF's around to hear my troubles and carry them with me. Sometimes, it's enough that he just listens. Call it pride or whatever but I just don't want anybody sorting out my problems for me. LOL. Crazy piece of crap. 0.0
Speaking of pride, there's only one thing I learned from my retreat when I was still a senior at ICA. The 7 deadly sins, the PALAGE'S (read as pa-la-ge's).
P - Pride
A - Anger
L - Lust
A - Avarice
G - Gluttony
E - Envy
S - Sloth
They are called as such because they are almost always committed by any person. Right now, I'm committing sloth. Rdrr. I got this test from quizilla.
~Which of the 7 Deadly Sins Are You?~
brought to you by Quizilla
Ok. I doubt if the results are accurate. LOL.
Dude. I wanna be free.
Here's a part of Lighthouse Family's Free.
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holdin' me
I wish I could say all the things that I should say
Say 'em loud, say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear
I wish I could share all the love that's in my heart
Remove all doubts that keep us apart
And I whish you could know how it feels to be me
Then you'd see and agree that every man should be free
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Monday, May 23, 2005
Personality Test
Your #1 Match: INFP
|
The Idealist
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. |
Your #2 Match: INTP
|
The Thinker
You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.
You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor. |
Your #3 Match: ISFP
|
The Artist
You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).
You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.
Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.
Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.
You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer. |
Your #4 Match: ISTP
|
The Mechanic
You are calm and collected, even in the most difficult of situations.
A person of action and self-direction, you love being independent.
To outsiders yous eem impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable.
You are good at understanding how all things work, except for people.
You would make an excellent pilot, forensic pathologist, or athlete. |
Your #5 Match: INFJ
|
The Protector
You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.
You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. |
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Sunday, May 22, 2005
Not in Mood
ex·haust Pronunciation Key (g-zôst)
v. ex·haust·ed, ex·haust·ing, ex·hausts
v. tr.
To wear out completely. See Synonyms at tire1.
To drain of resources or properties; deplete: tobacco crops that exhausted the soil. See Synonyms at deplete.
To use up completely: exhausted our funds before the month was out.
To treat completely; cover thoroughly: exhaust a topic.
To draw out the contents of; drain: exhaust a tank gradually.
To let out or draw off: exhaust vaporous wastes through a pipe.
Achi's laptop has gone bad. And when I say 'bad', I mean BAD. How can it be up and running at one time and then just bust itself up the next?! I'm not obliged to fix it or anything. But then, out of courteousness, I just can't help to help fix it. And then no matter how hard I try to fix it, it just won't cooperate!! DARN IT!!
I don't really know EXACTLY what I'm worried about. I mean, if the computer's down, it can always be reformatted. It's just that achie might hate me for not being able to fix the problem. 7_7 I mean, I know how to use her laptop but I don't have any idea how to fix it. RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! I mean, it's not like I'm responsible for it's current condition. True, I was the one who used it last yesterday but it was working FINE then!!
GAWD. I HATE COMPUTERS.
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Saturday, May 21, 2005
Nice and Cold
I fell asleep after lunch. LOL. Whattamoimoi. That makes up for the sleep I missed last night. I had bad dreams though. 7_7
I got a new thang from blogthings.com. LOL.
Your Stripper Name is: Delicious
|
Your Porn Star Name is: Sweetest Sin
|
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Forgiven AND Forgotten
past
adj
1: earlier than the present time; no longer current; "time past"; "his youth is past"; "this past Thursday"; "the past year" [ant: present(a), future]
2: of a person who has held and relinquished a position or office; "a retiring member of the board" [syn: past(a), preceding(a), retiring(a)]
3: a verb tense or other construction referring to events or states that existed at some previous time; "past participle"
n
1: the time that has elapsed; "forget the past" [syn: past times, yesteryear, yore] [ant: future]
2: a earlier period in someone's life (especially one that they have reason to keep secret); "reporters dug into the candidate's past"
3: a verb tense that expresses actions or states in the past [syn: past tense] adv : so as to pass a given point; "every hour a train goes past" [syn: by]
Did I tell you that I missed work yesterday? I overslept. O_O So now I'm here at work. On a Saturday. When I really don't go to work. To make up for yesterday.
Is life really like this? When you make a mistake, you have to make up for it?
When you do something that's in the past, why can't we just learn from it and go on?
Take today for instance, I'm here to report for work but it's a Saturday. Not a Friday. Not May 20, 2005. Not the exact date I missed.
I was able to chat on the phone with my mum this morning. She was asking 'Malinaw na ba utak mo?' It felt frustrating to be grinded with the same problem every waking day of my life. Can't anybody see that?! Hasn't anybody felt the way I feel?! I mean, YES, I know what's IMPORTANT and what's not. I know my PRIORITIES and my mind is CLEAR. Isn't that evidence enough?! Must you hear me say those words outloud and over and over?! Do you think I am stupid to not learn my lesson once that I need to commit the same mistake all over again?! Am I REALLY that dumb to you?!
This is by far the best lesson I've learned since I got here in SG: These Chinese words mean 'crisis': 
. It is read as 'wei ji'. If you write the first word as just one, 
(wei), it means 'danger' or 'problem'. If you write the second word, 
(ji), it means 'opportunity'. Simply put, a crisis may either spell impending danger or bring about an opportunity. It can either cause our downfall or take us a step towards success. It all depends on how we want to look at the crisis and how we want to treat it.
Am I in a ?
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Friday, May 20, 2005
Fear-Driven
fear ('fi(&)r)
n.
1 a. A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.
b. A state or condition marked by this feeling: living in fear.
2. A feeling of disquiet or apprehension: a fear of looking foolish.
3. Extreme reverence or awe, as toward a supreme power.
4. A reason for dread or apprehension: Being alone is my greatest fear.
Auntie Mel lent me this booklet called,
What on Earth am I here for? by Rick Warren, the author of
The Purpose-Driven Life. I haven't read half-way through it but I realized that I've been living life driven by the need for approval. According to the booklet, there are 5 common forces that drive one's life: guilt, resentment, fear, materialism and need for approval.
I've always wanted to prove myself to my folks and to everyone else. I wanted them to be proud of me in every way possible. I had to mold myself into something that they would see fit. Something that isn't necessarily to my liking. Something that isn't me. I'd like to think of that phase of my life as a stage. A stage that has taught me to become headstrong, more responsible, more sensible, more decisive and more rational. A stage wherein I learned how to unleash the REAL me - hopefully, a better one.
But as I try to assess my life now, I feel that it has become a life driven by fear. Fear that I might not be able to finish college, not become a doctor, make a HUGE mistake that can TOTALLY alter my life. In short, I fear to become a complete failure. How now, brown cow?
Come to think of it, I think most of us are living fear-driven lives. Students fear to fail their exams, employees fear that they might make errors, businessmen fear of losing huge profits, parents fear that they might not be able to give the best to their children, sons and daughters fear that they might not be able to make their parents happy. Heck. The list can go on and on. I am uncertain of what the future will bring but I'm sure I'll be present as it unfolds before me. I'm sure because I'm becoming who I am. I'm becoming Tin.
However, I really DO NOT understand what's happening to me. LOL. All of a sudden, I'm having a craving for the color
pink. I wore skirts the whole week, exhausting my pink tops to match. I'm attracted to shoes that have flowers on them. I'm attracted to flowers per se! Oh well, Master Yoda says that it's good, that I'm finally becoming a girl. LOL. I mean a REAL girl, not just gender-wise. Speaking of which, I saw this test:
| Your Seduction Style: The Coquette |
You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get.
Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you.
Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you complete.
And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you. |
I think, whatever I 'mature' into, I'll always be a child at heart. I made my own impression of MF, South Park version. ^_^
Love yah, my sweet. :*
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Thursday, May 19, 2005
Tension
Main Entry: ten·sion
Pronunciation: 'ten-ch&n
Function: noun
1 a : the act or action of stretching or the condition or degree of being stretched to stiffness b : STRESS 1b
2 a : either of two balancing forces causing or tending to cause extension b : the stress resulting from the elongation of an elastic body
3 : inner striving, unrest, or imbalance often with physiological indication of emotion
4 : PARTIAL PRESSURE —ten·sion·al /'tench-n&l, -&n-&l/ adjective —ten·sion·less /'ten-ch&n-l&s/ adjective
This morning, while pampering myself in the shower, I had decided to write about our stressful situation. Although I am only closely related to this family, I refer to it us 'our' because I live with them at the present. As I was going about preparing for work, I had took mental notes on what exactly to write. But as I stare into this monitor, my mind seems to have its own mind for thinking about another thing instead of this task at hand. It was - and still is - thinking about the new layout it had envisioned to create while it was free to float on the way to work.
And now, I have completely forgotten the points I had wanted to present.
Ok.
This place, supposedly my second home away from home for now, has become too stressful. At first, I could cope with the nerve-racking arguments, absurd answers to my helplessness, obnoxious shouting and clashing of whatever was within one's reach. I do not wish to elaborate further as it is enough to lead me to my next point: I cannot live with it. The thought of being able to unlimitedly surf the Internet on broadband for free has become less appealing that I dread going to work and having to dine with my masters for lunch. Once home, I try to entertain myself by reading and conversing with my cousins and laughing at the silliest things. It simply wouldn't work.
While in the shower last night (Yes, I think a lot when I'm alone.), I had thought about returning home earlier than June 10. And move it so the 5th instead. I can easily make up for an excuse to fly back home earlier, like I have school matters to attend to when I really don't. A white lie in it's very essence. However, late last night, I was able to talk to my closest cousins about what's happening. I suddenly saw the situation as a challenge, a problem that could be resolved even if I am not sure that I can do much. Going home early will prove cowardice on my part. Staying would mean courage and selflessness - and foolishness and stupidity. Nonetheless, I wish to stick to my cousins' side and help them go through with it. Although I haven't the slightest idea how.
Good luck to us.
I just hope the 'two balancing forces' won't 'elongate' us in a defective way.
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Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Aptitude
Currently listening to: Natalie - Goin' Crazy
ap·ti·tude
n.
1. An inherent ability, as for learning; a talent. See Synonyms at ability.
2. Quickness in learning and understanding; intelligence.
3. The condition or quality of being suitable; appropriateness.
I don't know why exactly I picked out that word from
Dictionary.com. I just thought I wanted a word that sounded like so.
My Ai took me home early yesterday so that I could 'supervise' and learn the configuration settings of the broadband connection at home. The guy was explaining to me every little detail about what he had done. But before he even started working on it, I had told him that I only needed the IP addresses, gateways and stuff. I just kept nodding because I thought cutting him short would be more rude than that. But when I asked him about the SSID and the network key, he looked surprised and then he said that they use MAC filtering instead of WEP. And then he started treating me like his equal. LOL. It takes two questions to give someone a glimpse of what you know.
I found out that the other reason for being sent home early is so that I can make a vegetable salad. Puwet helped me with preparing. We had lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, cheese, and croutons - originally. However, my Itiu asked if we could add in some apples. It was actually the first time I included apples in a supposed vegetable salad. And also my first time to use a different dressing, Wish-Bone's Creamy Caesar. The salad turned out really well. We had to add more lettuce to the salad because it was quickly vanishing into our mouths. LOL. At least I have 'talent' for some cooking. It usually scares me when I'm not particular with the ingredient given to me.
I was thinking. I know that I'm not suitable for office work. I have an accounting background, courtesy of my high school, but this is just so sucky. I don't like adding up numbers for money. I like solving mathematical problems or physics problems which won't make such a huge mess when you commit a teeny mistake. LOL. Plus, people here are not much of a help. My Ai has become so weird. When I try to ask her something, she says "it's not her job". When I ask Itiu, he answers me but then he gives incomplete details and then I have to prod to get more answers and risk getting my ass ripped off. Ampness. Maybe this week isn't for me. Hay. Great. Just great.
Tiiin* was starless at
10:25 AM
0 star(s)
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
This my Shit, This my Shit.
Currently listening to: Frankie J - Obsession
Nasira araw ko. Ang ganda pa naman ng gising ko. Maaga, feeling refreshed, walang worries (except thesis) tapos biglang ito ang bubulaga sa akin. This is the reason why I don't like going anywhere alone with my Ai. I'm just SO SURE she'll bring that up. And she did. Apparently, my eldest cousin had told my mum that people back in our f*cking compound see me walking around holding hands with DIFFERENT guys and that the f*cking f*ckers in our f*cking compound are LAUGHING at my mum. F*ck. It made me feel so dumb and selfish. How could I enjoy such happiness when I was hurting my mum so bad?! Her DIGNITY included. F*ck. When I finish this f*cking four-year course, I'll f*cking get into medicine, finish it all and I'll f*cking slap you with f*cking evidence that I'm going to be a doctor, you f*cking losers!! And when I become one, I'll be sure that I don't give them any discount whatsoever!!
Ok. I was too angry. I don't think straight when I'm angry. Who can, anyway?! The last line of the previous paragraph sounded so childish. LOL.
Master Yoda is right. I don't need to prove myself to anyone. Not to my f*cking relatives. Not to my mum. Not to my dad. Not to MF. Not to anybody!! Ok. I'm calm. They just envy my mum because she's so nice and she knows how to handle her money well. Too bad for you, f*ckers! MY MUM can buy herself a new car and go out of the countrty whenever she pleases. While all you can do is wait and watch one of us to make a wrong move. And then you'll turn that little move into something huge just so you can laugh at my mum! HAH! YOU F*CKING LOSERS!! It doesn't mean that if you can laugh at my mum, you're BETTER! You're the worst for EVER thinking that! Now I just wonder. If my bro and I come out successful, would you all go crazy?? I hope you all do. F*CKERS.
Whatever.
Last Sunday, I went to watch
Kingdom of Heaven with moLester and Puwet. I decided on seeing the film because it's got something to do with history and yes, Christ. (Isn't it ironic? After all that cussing, I'm reverting to a topic about Christ. X_x) I enjoyed it immensely. I mean, I like Orlando Bloom but he's not as good-looking when he's not Legolas. LOL. I cried 3 times at unexpected scenes. LOL. Rar. You should watch it. I'm sorry this 'review' is sucky. I'm so not in the mood to write right now. LOL. Just go watch it!!
Anyway, I'm planning to change my layout soon. I was hoping I could do it today but then I'm going home early. ^_^ The StarHub people will be setting up my Ai's broadband connection at home and Ai wants me to make sure that all computers will be connected or someting. I just wish I HAD my laptop. T_T If I did, I would have changed my freaking layout even before May started. Just watch out for it. It's going to be a GREAT transformation. ^_^
Still thinking about my thesis. Will post again soon. My MF's OL. See ya.
Tiiin* was starless at
8:38 AM
3 star(s)
Friday, May 13, 2005
Not by Love
Currently listening to: Fallin' by Alicia Keys
I'm finally done with my cousin's project. But I'm betting my a55 that she'd want changes about it. LOL. I dunno. Sometimes I forget that she's a kid.
I was reading achie's blog this morning. Gawd. Now, sometimes I forget that she's becoming an adult. LOL. She was able to relate driving to life in reality. It's amazing how she thinks that way. Go take a
look yourself.
As I admire her words of wisdom, I doubt if her mum would feel the same way as I do. But knowing her mum (in relation to my mum's attitude), she'd probably take it the wrong way. Say something like, 'so she means she's old enough to be on her own?' or something to that effect. Which leads me to my point, and to my new discovery (courtesy of Auntie Mel), "Parents rule by fear, not by love." This has made me understand my parents a whole lot better. I mean, maybe they ARE scared about what I'd become when I grow old, or when I don't finish school or whatever. Maybe all parents are this way. Could it be?
And ok. Maybe I was too harsh to say that K was such a flirt. Maybe he's just being nice. I want to flush out all negative vibes right now. (Including my 'little bout' with MF. Although, he might not consider it as anything. I mean, it could be just nothing to him.) Anyway, I think K's nice. He explains very well. Pretty smart actually. LOL. He smokes though (Not known by fact, just by the smell. LOL), which is a major turn-off for me. Oh whatever. As if. Ok. Stop. Release the bad vibes. Releaaaaaaaase.
But wait. I think I'll need a lot of anger so I won't feel much pain tomorrow. LOL. It's really nothing serious. I'm just going to have my facial thingy with achie. The thing is. I've never done that before. Well, my mum used to poke on my face and it hurts bloody lot. And that's what I'm afraid of. It might hurt so bad and I might end up crying and it would be SO humiliating. LOL! Whatever. Me and my brain cells.
I'm hungry.
Tiiin* was starless at
3:42 PM
1 star(s)
Thursday, May 12, 2005
With Eyebrows Arched
Currently listening to: Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl
Quite a long day.
We went to Singapore Immigration to have my VISA extended. LOL. That has got to be my most embarrassing experience so far. I had to fill up the form while in the queue! And then I had to stop at the side to let other people go through because there was a part where the sponsor has to sign stuff. My ai hasn't signed anything and I certainly cannot sign for her!
Plus, we weren't sure if a photo was required but my ai said I should just have it taken. And so I did. But then I didn't know how the procedure for paying goes. So after the lady printed my photos, she moved on taking the picture of another client. So I took mine from the printer and she says, "Put down! Put down!". Omigod. I felt like such a weirdo. LOL! They should have signs for 'PAYMENT HERE' and 'CLAIM HERE' or something. Sheesh.
Anyway, I asked to be extended for another month. Unfortunately, I was extended up to a couple of weeks only. My ai says she's probably blacklisted because of my nephew, who, apparently, has been over-staying for more than a month now. LOL! And she's the boy's sponsor. Oh well. I dunno what my ai wants to do next. I think she wants to have it extended. Until June 10th.
I think I haven't told you about Kenny. He's the IT guy trying to 'fix' our connection problems. He doesn't seem to be getting anything done though. Everytime he, and his friend Levene, comes by, he tries to 'fix' something but then the next day it's all worst than ever and then I have to butt in and try to fix it myself. Honestly, I'm feeling quite tired being 'IT Pro', as ai and auntie Mel have labeled me. I mean, if there's someone getting paid to do the job, he should just do it right. Right?! Whatever.
What I was trying to say was. That guy is becoming 'flirti-er' by the minute. LOL! If there's such a word. You know what I mean anyway. He came by this afternoon, he walks into the office, waves and says "Hello!". He gets on to work and then before he leaves, he faces me, gives a HUGE smile and says "See you tomorrow!". My itiu was like, "Wow! Special babay pa kay tintin." and he was laughing and smiling until we got into the car. Plus, he said, "Ay, nakalimutan ko tanong kung may asawa na siya!" LOL! Ang lakas mang-asar ni itiu. As in. Hay.
Tiiin* was starless at
7:16 PM
2 star(s)
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Singing to a Song
Currently listening to: J-Kwon - Tipsy
I've finished reading the third book of the Shopaholic series,
Shopaholic Ties the Knot. I have to say that it's the funniest and most exciting of the first three books. I cannot speak to include the fourth book as I haven't started reading it yet. Some parts of it are quite out of this world though. LOL. Anyway, I highly recommend it.
I'm still doing my cousin's project. LOL. At least I'm down to one now. Hm.. I'll continue tomorrow. I think we're about to go home now. WEEE!!! So early. ^_^
Tiiin* was starless at
3:12 PM
0 star(s)
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Me. South Park Version.
Currently listening to: Houston - I Like That
Wow. My head hurts. It's been hurting me all day. I should sleep earlier. I can't do this anymore. T_T
Work's just fine today. But I got homework to do. LOL. It's for LeS' little sister, Pau. She's studying in Raffles Girls' School or something. Apparently, people who study there are over-achievers. Sometimes, I just feel for that girl. I mean, who would want to be forced to think like an adult when one's only 11 or something?? Anyway, the project's about the December 26 tsunami. I think I'm getting somewhere already. LOL. Glad the due date's still a couple of weeks away.
While searching for the stuff I need, I came across this blog where he's discussing a bit about politics or something. And then there's a picture of a South Park character. I've watched all South Park stuff so I've never seen such a character before. Turns out, it's a personalized South Parketeer. LOL. Check out my character and maybe you could make one of your own
here.
I hope my Itiu doesn't forget about me. LOL. Else, I'll end up sleeping in the office. R d r squared.
Tiiin* was starless at
5:01 PM
1 star(s)
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Reviews
Currently listening to: jLo ft. somebody - Hold You Down
Gawd. I lost my post yesterday. Argh! Plus, I can't barely move right now because I'm having my hair straightened by my cousins. LOL. Tamang trip! Anyway, brace yourself because this is going to be a long read. :P
I've been busy with work lately. Well, not really work. I've been busy just being here. I wake up at least before 7am to prepare for work. Leave at 8am and come back home by 7pm. Have dinner. I hang around a bit with my cousins, chat with them or play puzzle fighter, read a book, watch TV. I can't seem to get myself to sleep before 10pm, so I've stretched my bedtime to 11pm..or so. LOL!
I've switched to a new author - Sophie Kinsella.
Can You Keep A Secret was the first book I've read by her. It had a lot of twists and it was very interesting that it was super difficult for me to close the book before I finish it. LOL! All in all, it was a really good book and I highly recommend it. And this novel inspired me to read more of Kinsella's works.
I decided to read the shopaholic series next.
Confessions of a Shopaholic is the first of that series. The beginning was sort of dragging and I hated the fact that she's burying herself into a lot of debt and trying so hard to get out of it instead of just paying it all off. I couldn't really relate to the character. We are like from two different worlds. While she likes to shop for things she won't really need and aim for branded stuff, I shop for only what I need and the brand doesn't really matter to me.
The second of the series is
Shopaholic Takes Manhattan. And again, the protagonist buries herself even further in debt and makes up more lies about things that she is capable of doing. I hate her lack of self-confidence. But at least, like in the first novel, things turned out really well for her in the end. And she was able to stand back up and face her life.
I noticed that Kinsella is very mean to her protagonists. She allows them to get humiliated all over to the point that the character won't seem to be able to face anyone in her life ever. But in the end, she gives the character what she needs and what she really wants in her life. She's a masochist. LOL! Anyway, I'll be back to reading Deveraux and McNaught until I get to uncle's book shop to rent the rest of the shopaholic series.
Plus, I'm still pondering on whether I'll keep the first 2 books. I've never kept novels from authors that I like. I keep classic ones. Ones that they would require you to read for school at some point in your life. Like Shakespeare, Three Musketeers, Count of Monte Cristo and stuff. But wait. I checked on National Bookstore's website, and I found out that Kinsella's books cost about Php300 back in the Phils. I rented the books here for S$15 each! Darn it. It's too expensive. I'll just return the books.
I'll have to cut this short. We're going to Parkway Plaza. LOL! MWAH! CIAO!
Tiiin* was starless at
4:21 PM
0 star(s)
